Best Man Speech: Timing And Tradition

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is an honour that comes with great responsibility. One of the big tasks you'll have is giving a memorable speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. The best man's speech is usually the one that's most anticipated and is meant to kick off the party. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasize the love the couple has for each other. The best man can start by introducing himself, congratulating the couple, sharing a story about the groom, and offering some nice words about their new spouse.

When to give the speech

The best man's speech is traditionally given at the wedding reception, shortly after everyone is seated at their tables. It is usually the first speech of the reception, followed by the maid of honour.

If you are feeling nervous about public speaking, you could suggest having the speeches at the rehearsal dinner instead. These are often longer and more involved, with fewer people in attendance. Alternatively, you could record your speech and play it at the reception, or have someone else read it on your behalf.

If you are determined to give the speech at the reception, there are a few different options for when to schedule it. You could get the formalities out of the way first, giving your speech as soon as everyone is seated. Or, you could wait until guests have been served their main course, as this is the longest part of the meal, and there will be less risk of interruptions from waitstaff.

If you would prefer to wait until later in the evening, you could give your speech at the tail end of the meal, or even when it's time to dance. This will give you plenty of time to enjoy the reception once you're done.

Remember, the most important thing is to do what works best for you, the couple, and the guests.

How to start the speech

How to Start Your Best Man Speech

The best man's speech is usually the most anticipated speech at a wedding, and it's meant to kick off the party. It should be celebratory and encouraging, with a few appropriate jokes that emphasise the love the couple has for each other. Here are some tips on how to start your best man's speech:

Introduce Yourself

It's always polite to introduce yourself, even if you think everyone knows who you are. You can make a joke if you feel tense or reference how important the day is to you. For example:

> "Hi, I'm [BEST MAN'S NAME], but you can call me by my full name: [BEST-MAN'S-NAME-WOULD-YOU-LIKE-A-DRINK]."

> "Hello, I'm [NAME], and it's time for me to do this speech I scribbled down about an hour before the ceremony started."

Keep your introduction short and sweet—a line or two about yourself will be enough.

Grab the Audience's Attention

Be confident, keep it simple, and aim for a couple of different locations around the room so the whole audience feels engaged. You can also ask the audience to give the couple a round of applause to get things going. If you're feeling nervous, you can make a joke about how you hate public speaking or reference how honoured you are to be a part of the day.

Have Notes to Hand

You don't need to memorise your whole speech. Having notes or cue cards will make you feel more confident, and no one will judge you for it.

Keep it PG

Remember to consider your audience when it comes to content. Raunchy jokes and innuendos are to be expected, but consider toning things down if there will be children present.

Share a Story

Sharing a story is a great way to keep the audience entertained and connected. Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that show who the groom is and your relationship with him. You can also ask mutual friends if there are any stories you might have forgotten.

Share What the Groom Means to You

Express the things you like about the groom and what he means to you. Talk about how he's always had your back, gives great advice, or any other qualities you admire.

Acknowledge the Bride

Take a moment to mention any special guests and acknowledge the bride. This is a great opportunity to contrast humour with sincerity. For example:

> "But in all seriousness, it really is my honour to be here today as Dan's best man—and as his long-suffering friend of 30 years, I couldn't be happier to see him find his perfect soulmate. Jenny, you look amazing today—as does the whole wedding party. Dan's done better than any of us could have expected..."

How You Met the Groom

Share how you and the groom met. Pick out ideas from your list of stories, anecdotes, or experiences, and feel free to exaggerate slightly for effect. For example:

> "I first met Dan back in St. David's High School. He was team captain, head boy, and always the most popular person to be around. We all imagined he'd go on to play for England. Fast forward a few decades, I'm not sure where it all went wrong?"

Remember, the most important thing is to enjoy yourself! The groom chose you to be his best man, and your main job is to celebrate and support him on his special day.

What to include in the speech

What to Include in the Best Man Speech

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is an honour, but it also comes with a great responsibility. The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception, and it's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. Here are some tips on what to include in your speech:

• Start with an introduction: Introduce yourself and how you know the groom. This can be done in a creative or funny way to grab the audience's attention.
• Share stories about the groom: People love hearing stories, and it's a great way to keep the audience entertained and connected. Share funny, heartwarming, or even embarrassing experiences that show who the groom is and your relationship with him.
• Talk about the groom's positive qualities: Mention the groom's kindness, adventurous spirit, or any other qualities that make him a great friend. You can also talk about how the bride has affected the groom, such as how she has pushed him to become more responsible or outgoing.
• Express what the groom means to you: As the best man, you have a special relationship with the groom. Talk about all the things you like about him and what he means to you.
• Keep it light and positive: While it's good to share some sentimental stories and feelings, don't make the speech too serious or emotional. Sprinkle in some jokes, but don't make the speech a roast or include jokes at the couple's expense.
• Connect with the audience: Make eye contact, speak clearly, use hand gestures, and express your emotions genuinely. Even the best speech will lose its impact if you're not engaging with the audience.
• Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a speech that is 3-7 minutes long. You don't want to bore the guests or take up too much time during the reception.
• Address the couple directly: Toward the end of your speech, make sure to look at the couple and wish them a happy future together.
• Practice, practice, practice: Rehearse your speech multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practising will help you feel more confident and polished when delivering the speech.

How to deliver the speech

How to deliver the best man speech

Being asked to be the best man is a toughremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, so it's important to get it right. Here are some tips on how to deliver a memorable and well-received speech:

• Prepare in advance: Start preparing your speech well in advance. Mull over some ideas, brainstorm, and jot down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you might want to include.
• Stay sober: While it's fine to have a drink or two to calm your nerves, don't get drunk. It's important to stay sober enough to deliver your speech in a clear and dignified manner.
• Express gratitude: Begin your speech by thanking the people who made the wedding possible, especially the bride and groom's parents. Thank the guests for coming, and don't forget to compliment the bride and say something nice about her.
• Introduce yourself: Many people at the wedding might not know who you are, so take a moment to briefly introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the groom.
• Be confident and clear: Speak slowly and clearly, and remember to pause and take deep breaths. It's natural to feel nervous, but try to project confidence and enthusiasm.
• Get a joke in early: A well-placed joke at the beginning of your speech can help relax the mood and engage the audience. Make sure the joke is appropriate and inoffensive, appealing to all age groups. Self-deprecating humour can work well.
• Tell a story: Include a story or anecdote in your speech. It could be about how you met the groom, a funny incident you both experienced, or a moment when you realised your friend had found his soulmate.
• Stay away from controversial topics: Avoid anything that could be considered offensive or embarrassing. Steer clear of inside jokes, complex topics, and references to the groom's past relationships.
• Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a speech of around 5 minutes. Guests have already listened to other speeches, and they're probably eager to eat cake and continue the celebrations.
• Summarise the groom's good character: Talk about the groom's positive qualities and why he and the bride are perfect for each other.
• End with a quote and a toast: Wrap up your speech with a meaningful quote, and then propose a toast to the couple's happiness and future together.
• Practice, practice, practice: Rehearse your speech multiple times beforehand. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you'll feel on the big day.
• Use cue cards or a printed speech: Instead of memorising your speech word-for-word, use cue cards or print out your speech in a large font. This will help you stay on track and ensure you don't forget any important points.
• Make eye contact: Remember to look up and make eye contact with the audience. Avoid burying your head in your notes, as this can detract from the impact of your speech.
• Consider your audience: Tailor your content to suit the audience. Keep in mind that the audience will include people of different generations and cultures, such as the couple's grandparents, colleagues, and friends.
• Stay true to yourself: Be yourself and let your personality shine through. There's no need to adopt a character or try to be someone you're not. Speak from the heart, and your speech will be authentic and well-received.

How long to speak for

The length of your speech is important. You don't want to go on for so long that you bore the guests, but you also want to make sure you say enough to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple.

A good rule of thumb is to keep your speech under five minutes, and closer to three minutes if you can. Even if you have a lot to say, talking for three minutes can feel like a long time, and you don't want to cut into the rest of the reception timeline. If there are multiple speeches, the total speech portion of the reception should be kept to 20 minutes maximum.

If you're worried about timing, practice your speech ahead of time and time yourself. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to help you refine your delivery and get comfortable with the content, timing, and flow.

Remember, the wedding day and the speeches are for the couple, but they are also for the guests. Make sure to connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, using hand gestures, and expressing your emotions genuinely.

Keep in mind that rehearsal dinner speeches can be longer and more involved than wedding day speeches since there are typically fewer people in attendance.

Frequently asked questions