Asking Your Best Mate To Be Your Best Man

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal, and it can be a nerve-wracking experience. While there's no single right way to do it, you'll want to make your request in a way that's meaningful and shows your friend how much you value your relationship with them. Here are some ideas for how to ask your best man via text.

Ask in person, if possible

Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal, so it's important to consider what you're expecting from them and whether they're the right person for the job. The best man is expected to be by your side throughout the entire wedding process, from attending pre-wedding events to planning the bachelor party and providing support in the lead-up to the wedding day.

If possible, it's best to ask your best man in person. This can be done during a one-on-one hang session, or while enjoying a shared interest or activity, such as a round of golf or watching a football game. This can make the ask feel more personal and meaningful. Here are some tips on how to go about it:

Plan a one-on-one hang session:

Set up a private hang session with the person you want to ask. This could be something as simple as grabbing a burger and a beer or checking out your favourite sports bar for snacks and the game. During your hangout, pop the question and ask them to be your best man. This intimate setting allows for a more personal and heartfelt conversation.

Make it a special occasion:

If you and your potential best man share a passion for a particular activity or sport, plan a day out around that. For example, if you both love golf, book a round at your favourite course. If hiking is your thing, plan a trail adventure. Present your gift and ask the big question during this outing. This approach combines your shared interests with the special moment of asking your best man.

Include your fiancé:

If you want your fiancé to be part of this special moment, propose a double date. Plan a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant and surprise your friend with your proposal. Your fiancé will likely appreciate being involved, and they might even help with the planning! This approach adds a romantic touch to the occasion.

Keep it casual:

If a grand gesture doesn't feel like your style, remember that a simple ask is also completely valid. You can casually bring up the topic during a conversation or phone call. Sometimes, a straightforward approach is the most authentic and comfortable way to go.

No matter how you choose to ask, the most important thing is to let your friend know how much they mean to you and that you would be honoured to have them by your side on your wedding day.

Send a card with the details

Sending a card with the details of your wedding is a great way to ask your best friend to be your best man. It can be a funny card, a thoughtful letter, or a simple reminder. Here are some ideas to help you craft the perfect card:

Choose a Card that Reflects Your Personality

Select a card that showcases your personality or shares an interest with your best friend. You can opt for a card with a design that matches your wedding theme. Greeting card websites and wedding websites offer a variety of card designs, and many allow you to customise lettering and colour schemes. You can also make your own card to add a personal touch.

Include Important Details

Make sure to include all the essential details such as the date, time, location, and dress code. If you haven't finalised the date yet, provide a tentative timeframe or season and let them know you'll get back to them with the exact date. This ensures your best friend can keep their schedule clear and plan accordingly.

Write a Thoughtful Message

Take the time to write a meaningful message expressing how much your friendship means to you and why you want them to be a part of your special day. You can share a moment that meant a lot to you or thank them for supporting your relationship. Let them know that their presence and support are invaluable to you.

Add a Personal Touch

Customise the card with an inside joke, a favourite quote, or a shared memory. You can also include a small gift, such as a customised key chain, a bottle of their favourite drink, or a funny gadget. Make it light-hearted and fun, reflecting the bond you share.

Send it with Care

Hand-write their address on the envelope to ensure it stands out and doesn't get mistaken for spam. You can even hand-deliver the card and combine it with a face-to-face request, creating a more intimate and memorable moment.

Remember, the card is a way to express your appreciation for your best friend and to invite them to share in the joy of your wedding day. So, be creative, heartfelt, and don't hold back on showcasing your personality!

Host an event and surprise your best man

If you're looking to surprise your best man with an event, here are some ideas to make it a memorable occasion:

Host a get-together

Organise a gathering with all your prospective groomsmen. This could be a casual get-together, such as a poker night, a meal, or a trip down memory lane by revisiting a favourite pub. You could even create a celebratory atmosphere by offering your world-famous food or drinks. Make it personal and choose an event or space that commemorates your friendship or a significant milestone in your best man's life. They will surely appreciate the thoughtful gesture.

Prepare custom drinks

Before the event, relabel a few bottles of beer with customised "Best Man" or "Groomsman" labels. You can also use beer bottle labels that require their acceptance of the role, such as "Chug Means Yes". Alternatively, you could opt for custom shot glasses or flasks. Place these drinks at each spot, covering the labels with a koozie. Once everyone is settled, propose a toast and ask them to uncover the drinks simultaneously. This will be a fun and interactive way to pop the question!

Verbalise your excitement

When you're ready to pop the question, express your enthusiasm and highlight the importance of their presence at your wedding. You could say something like, "It'd really mean a lot to have you as my best man." This will create a heartfelt moment and emphasise the significance of their role.

Include a thoughtful gift

Along with the customised drinks, you can also present your best man with a thoughtful gift that will last beyond the event. Consider a classy tie clip, a lighter monogrammed with their initials, or cufflinks. These items can be tailored to each individual, featuring their style or an inside joke between you. It's a wonderful way to commemorate the occasion and will surely be cherished for years to come.

Provide a reminder

Even if you've had the conversation in person, it's always a good idea to send a reminder card with all the important details. Include information such as dates, location, and dress code. Choose a card that reflects your personality, shared interests, or your wedding theme. This will not only serve as a practical reminder but also be a keepsake for your best man to cherish.

Send a gift with a card

Asking someone to be your best man can be nerve-wracking, but it's important to remember that your choice of approach will depend on your relationship with the person you're asking. If you're hoping to ask your best man with a gift and a card, here are some ideas to get you started:

Choose a gift that reflects their interests:

Think about what your friend enjoys and try to find a gift that ties back to their hobbies or passions. For example, if they're a coffee enthusiast, a personalised coffee mug could be a great option. Or, if they're a wine connoisseur, a customised wine glass would be a perfect choice. You could even include a bottle of their favourite wine! If your friend has a sweet tooth, consider a box of chocolates or other treats.

Make it personal:

Adding a personalised touch to your gift will make it even more special. You could engrave their name or initials on the item, or include a meaningful message. For instance, you might want to inscribe a funny inside joke or a heartfelt message about your friendship. This will not only make the gift unique but will also show how much you value your relationship.

Include a thoughtful card:

In your card, you can express why this person is so important to you and why you want them by your side on your wedding day. You can take a nostalgic approach by recalling your favourite memories together, or you might prefer to keep it light and funny. If writing a heartfelt message feels too daunting, you could opt for a simple and direct approach by asking the question outright. Don't forget to sign the card, and if you want to make it extra special, you could include a photo of the two of you.

Plan a special moment:

While the gift and card are sure to be appreciated, creating a memorable moment around the "proposal" can make it even more meaningful. Consider planning a get-together or an activity you both enjoy, such as a round of golf or watching a football game. During a relaxed moment, you can present them with the gift and card, making it a day to remember.

Some gift and card combinations to consider:

• Personalised hip flask and a funny card referencing a fun memory.
• Customised pocket watch with a card that highlights your shared history.
• Engraved whiskey decanter set and a card expressing your gratitude for their friendship.
• A book about a shared interest, like cycling, along with a thoughtful card asking them to be your best man.
• Personalised cooler backpack, filled with their favourite snacks and drinks, accompanied by a lighthearted card.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose an approach that suits your relationship and reflects your friend's personality. Good luck with your "best man proposal"!

Make a prank request

Asking your best mate to be your best man is a big deal, so why not have a bit of fun with it? Here are some prank ideas to add a playful twist to your request:

The Fake Out

Start by creating a hypothetical scenario where you are getting married. Ask your friend if he would be your best man in this imaginary situation. For example, "Hey bro, imagine I married Jane today. Would you be my best man?". After he responds, reveal the truth and ask him to be your best man for real. Something like, "That's great to hear! Well, I'm actually tying the knot in 3 months, so I'd appreciate you being my best man then!".

The Jokester

This one's a classic. When asking your friend to be your best man, add a playful nudge, suggesting that you're only choosing him for his ability to plan an epic bachelor party. For example, "I'm getting married, and I need a best man who knows how to show me a good time. Think you're up for the job?". While this may be a prank, remember to respect boundaries and be mindful of your friend's feelings.

The Straight Face

If you're up for a more daring prank, try this one. Ask your friend to be your best man, but with a serious expression, imply that you're only choosing him because you have no other options. Something like, "Hey, I'm getting married and I need a best man. I couldn't think of anyone else, so I guess it's you!". This prank plays on the idea that your friend is your last resort, which is sure to get a laugh.

The Formal Invite

Send your friend a formal invitation, requesting his presence at a "Best Man Interview". Include a date, time, and dress code for the "interview". When he arrives, surprise him with a fun best man proposal, complete with a speech, gifts, or even a small celebration. This prank adds a touch of humour to the traditional proposal idea.

Remember, these pranks are all in good fun, but be mindful of your friend's feelings and comfort level. Make sure your prank doesn't cross any boundaries or cause any unnecessary stress. Good luck with your best man proposal!

Frequently asked questions