The Brotherly Best Man: Should He Take The Role?

should your brother be best man

There are many opinions on whether or not your brother should be your best man. Ultimately, it is your wedding and your decision. If you are close with your brother, it is likely that they will be expecting to be your best man. If you choose someone else, it is best to be upfront about it and find another role for your brother, such as a groomsman, usher, driver, or ring bearer. If you have multiple brothers, you can have them both be your best men, or choose one based on age or closeness.

Characteristics Values
Number of brothers 1, 2, 3 or more
Relationship with brother(s) Close, not close, best friends, not best friends, competitive, estranged
Brother's personality Extrovert, introvert, serious, class clown, responsible, unreliable, good public speaker
Brother's availability Brother lives far away, brother has a nice car
Other candidates for best man Best friend, father, friend since 15, other brothers
Brother's previous experience Brother has already been best man, brother has never been best man
Number of best men 1, 2, 3 or more
Other roles for brothers Groomsman, usher, driver, speech-giver, reader, ring-bearer, officiant, baker/crafter/designer, handyman

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It's your wedding, so it's your choice

Ultimately, it's your wedding, so it's your choice. You can choose whoever you want to be your best man—your brother, your friend, a man, a woman, or even choose to have no best man at all. It's your day, so it's your decision.

If you're not close with your brother, he probably won't expect to be your best man, and he won't mind if you've chosen someone else. If you are close, he'll likely know who you've chosen already and won't be put out. If you think your brother will be disappointed about not being chosen, it's best to set expectations early and be upfront. You can always mention that you've chosen someone else for the role, and it's a good idea to have another role for your brother ready to go, whether it's asking him to be a groomsman, driver, or including him in your wedding in another way.

If you have multiple brothers, it can be hard to choose which one gets the title of best man. There are no rules, though, so you can have both your brothers take on the role. The same goes for a pairing of a brother and a best friend. If you have a good relationship with your brothers, you could even make it into a game and whoever wins a series of competitions is the best man.

Remember, it's your wedding, so it's your choice.

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You can have multiple best men

If you have multiple brothers, it can be challenging to choose which one gets to be the best man. But there are no rules saying you can't have multiple best men. You can have both your brothers take on the role, or you can have a combination of a brother and a best friend.

For example, author Tim Lott had both his best friend and his younger brother as best men at his wedding. His brother, who was not a confident public speaker, gave a short and touching speech, while his friend gave a longer and more humorous one. This combination offered a good balance and allowed both parties to shine in their respective roles.

If you do decide to have multiple best men, you can divide the responsibilities among them. For instance, one can plan the bachelor party, while the other can hold the rings, and they can both give toasts.

Having multiple best men can also help to avoid any potential hurt feelings or family drama. It's important to remember that your brother has feelings, and if he expects to be your best man, it's crucial to find another way to include him in your wedding. By having multiple best men, you can honour your brother while also choosing a friend or another family member to stand by your side on your special day.

Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you can choose whoever you want to be your best man. Select individuals who will make you feel comfortable, ease any anxieties, and be reliable enough to help with various tasks and responsibilities.

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You can ask your brother to be a groomsman

Asking your brother to be a groomsman is a great way to include him in your wedding, especially if you have multiple brothers or if you are closer to a friend who you would rather be your best man. It is a common choice for grooms to have their brothers as groomsmen and can help to avoid family drama and hurt feelings.

If you are worried about your brother's feelings, you can always give him another role in the wedding, such as asking him to be an usher, giving a speech, or doing a reading. You could also ask him to walk your grandparents down the aisle, be the ring bearer, or include him in any surprises you have planned. If your brother has a nice car, you could ask him to be the driver for the day.

If you are close with your brother, he will likely understand if you choose a friend to be your best man. However, if you think he might be disappointed, it is best to be upfront and let him know early on. Ultimately, it is your decision and you should choose whoever will make you feel the most comfortable and ease any wedding-day anxieties.

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You can ask your brother to give a speech

Asking your brother to be your best man is a common choice for grooms. However, it is not necessary to choose your brother as your best man, and you can ask someone else to take on this role if you prefer.

If you would like to include your brother in your wedding, there are several other ways to do so. You can ask him to be a groomsman, usher, driver, or officiant. You could also ask him to give a speech, sharing fun stories from your childhood. This is a great way to involve your brother in your wedding and can be a very memorable part of the day for you and your guests.

If you have two brothers, you could even ask them both to give a speech. However, it is important to ensure that they do not give the same speech, as this could be uncomfortable for your guests. For example, you could have them perform a funny microphone handoff in their speeches. Alternatively, if you have multiple brothers, you could ask them to give a joint speech to avoid any overlap.

If you are close with your brother, he will likely not be offended if you choose someone else to be your best man. However, if you think he might be disappointed, it is best to be upfront and set expectations early. You can always offer him another role in the wedding, such as asking him to be a groomsman or including him in another way.

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You can ask your brother to be the ring-bearer

While it is not mandatory to have your brother as your best man, it is a common choice for grooms. If you have multiple brothers, you can choose to have them both take on the role of best man, or you can choose one of them and avoid playing favourites. If you don't want to have your brother as your best man, you can always ask him to be a groomsman, or include him in your wedding in another way.

One way to include your brother in your wedding is to ask him to be the ring-bearer. While this role often goes to younger children, it is a big and honourable job. You can make it fun by asking your brother to serve as an adult version of ring security, or by having him escort a younger ring bearer who might not be so confident on their own. For example, how cute would a ring bearer piggy-back ride be?

If you are worried about your brother losing the rings, you can ask him to take on a different role, such as an usher, driver, or speech-giver. As an usher, your brother can greet guests and help them find their seats, which can be especially useful for grandparents or older relatives. If your brother has a nice car, he might like to show it off by driving you from A to B on the day. As a speech-giver, your brother can share fun stories from your childhood.

If your brother has a knack for the sentimental, you can also ask him to give a reading at your wedding. Whether it's a Bible verse, a poem, or lines from your favourite song, this is a great way to include him in the ceremony.

Frequently asked questions

No, you can choose whoever you want to be your best man. It's your day, so it's your decision.

Pick your brother. Blood is thicker than beer.

You can have a best woman, or no best man at all.

You can have them both as best men, or choose one and give the other a different role in the wedding.

You can still include him in the wedding party as a groomsman, or give him a different role, such as usher, driver, or speech-giver.

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