Wording Wedding Invites: Navigating The Guest Plus One Etiquette

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list and deciding who gets a plus-one. While there are no set rules, wedding etiquette suggests that certain guests should receive a plus-one, such as members of the couple's immediate family, wedding party members, and out-of-town guests. To inform guests about their plus-ones, the invitation envelope can include the guest's name followed by and guest. Alternatively, a separate note can be included with the invitation, or the RSVP card can specify the number of seats reserved. Ultimately, the decision on plus-ones depends on the couple's budget, venue capacity, and their vision for the day.

'Plus one' for married, engaged, and cohabiting guests

Plus one for married, engaged, and cohabiting guests

Married, engaged, and cohabiting guests traditionally receive a plus-one. According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should be invited. Their book states that "even if you've never met or they are not your favourite people, your guest is part of a package deal".

If you are inviting a married couple, it is customary to list their full names on separate lines, starting with the woman's name. For example:

Ms. Lily Caberet

Mr. Shawn Jackson

123 Lover's Lane

If you are sending an invitation to a couple who are cohabiting, follow the same format.

If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one and you know the name of the plus-one, it is best practice to include their name on the invitation. You can include the plus-one on the same invitation, listing their name on a separate line below your guest's name. Alternatively, you can send a separate invitation to the plus-one directly.

If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one and you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can simply add "and Guest" to the envelope. For example:

Mr. Harry Stockton and Guest

123 Lover's Lane

'Plus one' for wedding party members

When it comes to wedding party members, it is generally considered good etiquette to offer them a plus-one. This is a way to thank them for their time, support, and financial contributions throughout the wedding planning process. It is also a way to ensure they feel comfortable and enjoy your special day.

• They have likely spent a lot of time and energy helping you plan your wedding, and may have spent a significant amount of money on wedding-related expenses such as attire, lodging, and transportation.
• It can be awkward for a wedding party member to walk down the aisle with someone who is not their date or significant other, especially if they are being set up. Offering a plus-one allows them to bring someone they know and are comfortable with.
• Attending a wedding alone can be uncomfortable and lonely, especially if the wedding party member is from out of town and doesn't know many people at the wedding.
• It is a courteous move that shows your appreciation for their support and participation in your wedding.
• Be consistent: If you offer a plus-one to one wedding party member, it is generally expected that you offer it to all of them. This avoids any feelings of favouritism.
• Know the names of their plus-ones: Make an effort to find out the name of their plus-one and include it on the invitation. This shows attention to detail and makes the invitation more personal.
• Be mindful of seating arrangements: When creating your seating plan, try to seat solo guests with outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

'Plus one' for outlier guests

When it comes to wedding guest lists, there are no set rules, and every wedding is different. However, standard wedding etiquette suggests that outlier guests who won't know many other attendees should receive a plus-one. This is a thoughtful gesture to ensure that all your guests feel comfortable and enjoy your special day.

If you are inviting out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees, it is common to give them plus-one privileges. This ensures that they don't feel out of place and helps to alleviate the potential awkwardness of attending a wedding alone.

In addition, if you have single guests who won't know many people at the wedding, it is considerate to offer them a plus-one. This could be a romantic partner or simply a friend, giving them a familiar face to spend time with during the celebration.

When addressing the invitation, you can write the guest's name followed by "and Guest" if you don't know the name of their plus-one. Alternatively, you can include a note on the invitation, such as "You are invited to bring a plus one" or "You are invited to bring a guest." This gives your guest the flexibility to choose their companion.

If you are concerned about budget constraints or limited space, you can create an "A" list of guests who are a priority for plus-ones and a "B" list of guests who you would like to include if possible. This way, you can manage expectations and ensure that your closest friends and family have the opportunity to bring a companion.

Remember, it is your special day, and you can be selective about who receives a plus-one. Don't feel obligated to offer a plus-one to every guest. Use your best judgment and consider the unique dynamics of your guest list to make informed decisions.

'Plus one' for serious couples

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, it's important to be clear about whether or not a guest is invited to bring a plus-one, especially if they are in a serious relationship. Here are some tips and examples of how to word invitations for guests in serious couples:

Wording the Invitation

The key to successfully wording wedding invitations for guests with plus-ones is to be clear and direct. Here are some suggestions:

• Address the invitation to the individual and their partner by name: If you know the name of your guest's partner, you can include them both on the outer and inner envelope. For example, "Mrs. Valerie Smith and Mrs. Hannah Woods". This is a good option for couples living together.
• Address the invitation to the individual and add "and guest": If you don't know the name of their partner, or they are living separately, you can address the invitation to the primary guest and add "and guest". For example, "Mrs. Valerie Smith and Guest". This indicates that they are welcome to bring a plus-one.
• Include a note inside the invitation: Another option is to address the invitation to the primary guest and include a note inside, such as on an RSVP card, indicating that they are invited to bring a plus-one. For example, "You are invited to bring a plus-one" or "You are invited to bring one guest".
• Use "invited guest" instead of "plus-one": To add a touch of formality, you can use the phrase "invited guest" instead of "plus-one". For example, "Mrs. Valerie Smith and Invited Guest".

Other Considerations

When deciding on the wording and whether to offer a plus-one, there are a few other things to keep in mind:

• Be consistent: If you offer a plus-one to one person in a similar situation, try to offer it to others as well. This helps to avoid any potential hurt feelings or favouritism.
• Consider your budget and space constraints: While it would be ideal to offer a plus-one to everyone, it's not always feasible. Be mindful of your budget and the capacity of your venue when making these decisions.
• Get the name of the plus-one: If possible, try to find out the name of your guest's partner. This will be helpful for seating arrangements and place cards. It also adds a personal touch to the invitation.
• Be prepared for requests: Even if you don't offer a plus-one to everyone, some guests may still reach out to ask. Have a kind and polite response ready, explaining any budget or space constraints.
• Seating arrangements: Consider the seating plan to ensure that solo guests are seated comfortably. Place them with outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal and welcoming atmosphere.

'Plus one' for out-of-town guests

When it comes to out-of-town guests, it is generally considered good etiquette to offer a plus-one. This is because travelling to a wedding can be more enjoyable with someone to travel with, and it also gives your guest the opportunity to make a vacation out of their trip.

If you are inviting out-of-town guests who are in a relationship, it is best practice to include their partner's name on the invitation. You can list the couple's full names on separate lines, starting with the woman's name. For example:

> Ms. Lily Caberet

> Mr. Shawn Jackson

> 456 Ranch Road

If you are inviting out-of-town guests who are single, it is also a nice gesture to offer a plus-one, so they have someone to travel with and are not alone at the wedding. However, this is not always possible due to budget and space constraints. If you are unable to offer a plus-one to all single guests, consider prioritising those who may feel uncomfortable without one, such as those who won't know many other attendees.

When offering a plus-one to a single guest, you can simply add "and Guest" to the envelope:

> Mr. Harry Stockton and Guest

> 123 Lover's Lane

If you don't know the name of the plus-one, be sure to include a space on the RSVP card for the primary guest to write their name. This is important for seating chart preparation and place cards.

If you are unable to offer a plus-one to all out-of-town guests, be prepared to respond to requests from those who don't receive one. Have a kind, but firm explanation ready, such as:

> "We'd love to include everyone, but unfortunately, our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family. We appreciate your understanding and really hope to see you there!"

Frequently asked questions