Wedding Etiquette: Inviting Your Vocalist

Wedding planning involves taking care of a lot of details, from the minor to the major, and one of the most important is the wedding invitation. It not only announces the upcoming nuptials but also sets the tone for the entire event. The invitation should include the full names of the couple, the hosts, the time, date, month, year, and venue of the wedding. It is also recommended to include an RSVP card with a deadline of around four weeks before the wedding. So, when is the best time to send out wedding invitations? The general rule of thumb is six to eight weeks before the wedding, and earlier if it is a destination wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed.

Timing: Send invites six to eight weeks before the wedding, or 12 weeks for a destination wedding

It is customary to send wedding invitations to your wedding vendors, including your vocalist, as a courtesy and to ensure they feel appreciated. The timing of when to send these invitations is important to ensure you receive responses and can plan accordingly.

For local weddings, it is common practice to send invitations to your vendors, including your vocalist, about six to eight weeks before the wedding. This timeframe allows your vocalist to plan their schedule and respond promptly. It is considerate to include an RSVP date that is a few weeks before your actual RSVP deadline, giving you time to receive their response and finalize numbers with your venue and vendors. This timing also applies if your vocalist is part of a larger choir or group, ensuring that their attendance can be coordinated effectively.

For destination weddings, it is advisable to send invitations to all your vendors, including your vocalist, at least 12 weeks in advance. This extended timeframe accounts for any travel arrangements your vocalist may need to make and ensures they have ample time to prepare. Again, setting an earlier RSVP date for your vendors will help you manage your responses and provide an accurate headcount to your venue and caterers.

When sending invitations to your vocalist, consider including a personal note expressing your appreciation for their contribution to your special day. This adds a thoughtful touch and makes them feel valued. You may also want to provide additional details or a run-of-show, especially if your vocalist is an integral part of your ceremony or reception. This ensures they are well-informed and can prepare any necessary music or performances.

Lastly, it is always a good idea to follow up with your vocalist a week or two before the wedding to confirm their attendance and ensure they have all the information they need. This confirmation provides peace of mind and allows you to make any last-minute adjustments if necessary. Sending invitations to your vendors, including your vocalist, is a thoughtful way to include them in your celebration and ensure a harmonious and well-coordinated wedding day.

Who to invite: Send to everyone on your guest list, including the vocalist

Wedding planning can be stressful, but it's important to get the details right. One of the most important details is the wedding invitation. It announces your upcoming nuptials and sets the tone for the entire event. So, who should you send a wedding invitation to?

The simple answer is: everyone on your guest list. This includes your vocalist, assuming they are a part of your guest list. It's a nice gesture to invite everyone, even if you know they can't come. It shows that you're thinking of them and would love for them to be there if they could. However, if someone has already told you they can't come and you're not particularly close, you can skip the invite.

When it comes to plus-ones, you don't have to give every guest one. If they're not married or in a serious relationship, it's perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite. But if you're giving some guests a plus-one, be clear about it on the invitation. You can write the invitee's name and "Guest", or include the number of seats reserved for them on the RSVP card.

It's also important to be mindful of how you address the invitations if you're having a kid-free wedding. Avoid addressing envelopes to "The [Last Name] Family" and instead, address the parents or sets of parents by their full names.

Now that you know who to send wedding invitations to, you can focus on the other important details, like the timing and what information to include.

RSVP deadline: Allow at least three to four weeks before the wedding

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to sending out invitations and managing RSVPs. To ensure a smooth process, it is recommended that you allow at least three to four weeks before the wedding for your RSVP deadline. This timeline is considered the "sweet spot," providing enough time to finalise the guest list and make necessary arrangements. Here are some detailed paragraphs to explain the importance of this deadline and how it fits into your wedding planning:

Setting an RSVP deadline three to four weeks before the wedding strikes a balance between giving your guests enough time to respond and not leaving too much time that they might forget or procrastinate. This deadline allows you to confirm the final guest list, make necessary arrangements with vendors, and finalise seating charts and other details. It's a crucial step in the wedding planning process, as it impacts various aspects of the big day.

Sending Out Invitations

It is recommended to send out wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This timeframe ensures that your guests have ample time to plan their attendance, make travel arrangements if needed, and respond to your invitation. Sending invitations too early may result in guests forgetting about the event, while sending them too late may not give your guests enough time to prepare.

Following Up on RSVPs

Even with a clear deadline, there may be guests who forget to respond or need a gentle reminder. It is advisable to follow up with guests who haven't responded about a week after the RSVP deadline. This follow-up can be done through a friendly phone call, text, or email. It's important to express your enthusiasm for their attendance while also emphasising the need for a prompt response to finalise the details.

Finalising Details with Vendors

With the final guest list confirmed, you can now confidently communicate the headcount to your caterer, venue, and other vendors. Most caterers and venues require the final headcount at least one week before the wedding, so having the RSVPs in three to four weeks beforehand gives you ample time to finalise these details. This includes confirming the number of table settings, entrees, wedding favours, and any other guest-related arrangements.

Creating a Seating Chart

Once you have the final guest list, you can begin the fun part of creating a seating chart. This task can be done closer to the wedding, usually around the two-week mark. A seating chart helps ensure your guests are comfortably seated and adds a personal touch to the reception. It's a great opportunity to consider the dynamics of your guests and create an enjoyable experience for everyone.

Handling Late RSVPs

While it's important to set a clear RSVP deadline, there may be exceptional cases where guests reach out after the deadline. It is recommended to kindly inform them that their response is needed for their attendance to be accommodated. If they still do not respond within a reasonable timeframe, it may be best to mark them as unable to attend.

By following these guidelines and setting an RSVP deadline of three to four weeks before the wedding, you'll be well on your way to a well-organised and memorable event. It's all about finding the right balance between giving your guests enough time to respond and ensuring you have the information needed to finalise the wedding details.

Plus-ones: Make it clear on invites if a plus-one is or isn't invited

When it comes to wedding invitations, it is important to consider whether to include a plus-one for your guests. This is especially relevant if you are inviting single friends or family members. While it is not necessary to provide a plus-one for every single guest, it is important to make your intentions clear on the invitation. Here are some tips to handle this situation gracefully:

Firstly, consider your guest list and your budget. If you have a large number of single friends or family members and the budget allows, you may choose to offer plus-ones to everyone. This can make your guests feel valued and comfortable, and it also ensures that no one feels left out. However, if budget constraints or space limitations don't allow for this, that's understandable.

When addressing your invitations, be specific and clear. If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one, use phrasing such as "Jane Doe and Guest" or "Mr. John Smith and Guest." This makes it explicit that an additional person is invited. On the other hand, if you are only inviting the individual, simply address the invitation to that person without mentioning a plus-one. Be consistent with this approach across all your invitations to avoid any confusion.

Another approach is to have a cutoff for plus-ones. For example, you may decide that only guests in serious relationships can bring a plus-one. In this case, you can address the invitation to "Jane Doe and Partner." This indicates that they can bring their significant other, but it doesn't leave the door open for a casual date or a random guest.

If you know that a guest is in a new relationship, use your discretion. You can choose to extend a plus-one invitation if you feel it is appropriate, especially if the new partner is likely to be a long-term fixture in your guest's life. However, this is entirely up to your discretion and the dynamics of your wedding.

Lastly, be prepared for questions or clarification requests. Despite your best efforts, some guests may still be unsure about the plus-one situation. Be responsive and friendly when addressing these inquiries, and provide clear answers to avoid any misunderstanding. You can also use this opportunity to explain any space or budget limitations you may have, which most guests will understand.

Reminders: It's appropriate to remind guests about the RSVP deadline if you haven't heard back

It's not uncommon for guests to miss the RSVP deadline. It's also likely that they don't realise how important their response is for your planning, so try not to take it personally.

• Maintain communication leading up to the RSVP deadline.
• Be clear and persistent in your messaging.
• Before the RSVP deadline, send some gentle reminders. It's much easier to remind people before a deadline than after when you're feeling the pressure.
• Send reminders about one to two weeks before your RSVP deadline.
• Be gentle and kind while still firmly asking for an RSVP by a certain date.
• Share some details about the big day to build excitement and create a stronger connection to the event.
• After the RSVP deadline has passed, contact guests individually.
• If you're nervous about reaching out, ask your maid of honour, best man, or another member of the wedding party to do it for you.
• If you still don't hear back, it's time to be decisive and stand your ground. If the RSVP deadline has passed, they're not coming.

Frequently asked questions