Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Names, Formats, And Traditions

Wedding invitations are often a source of stress for couples, who want to ensure that they are following the correct etiquette while also staying true to their personal style. One common dilemma is whether to use legal names or nicknames on the invitations. While some people prefer the formality of legal names, others feel that nicknames are more reflective of their relationship with the invitee. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference, but there are a few things to keep in mind. First, consider the formality of your wedding. If it is a very formal event, legal names may be more appropriate. Second, think about how the invitee prefers to be addressed. Using someone's preferred name, whether it is a nickname or a legal name, is a way to show them respect. Finally, don't stress too much about this decision! As long as the invitations are sent out on time and include all the necessary information, your guests will be happy to receive them, regardless of what name you use.

Formal names vs nicknames

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few things to consider when deciding whether to use formal names or nicknames. While it is ultimately a personal preference, there are some etiquette guidelines and considerations to keep in mind.

Formality of the Wedding

The formality of your wedding can play a role in deciding whether to use formal names or nicknames on the invitations. If you're having a traditional or formal wedding, using full names may be more appropriate. On the other hand, if your wedding is more casual or informal, using nicknames can set the right tone for your celebration.

Guest Preferences

Considering the preferences of your guests is essential. Some people may have strong feelings about being addressed by their full name or a nickname. If you know that a guest prefers their nickname and exclusively goes by it, it may be best to use that on the invitation to avoid confusion and respect their wishes. Similarly, if you know that a guest dislikes their legal name or rarely uses it, using their nickname may be more appropriate.

Consistency and Readability

Consistency is crucial when addressing wedding invitations. Decide on a naming format and stick to it across all invitations to maintain a cohesive look. Additionally, consider the readability of the names, especially if you have intricate calligraphy or limited space on the invitations. Using nicknames may be more practical in such cases.

Personalization

Your wedding invitations should reflect your personality and style as a couple. If you and your partner commonly use nicknames and feel they represent you better, there is no harm in using them. Ultimately, it is your special day, and you can choose the naming style that suits you and your guests best.

Practical Considerations

In some cases, practicality may influence your decision. For example, if you have guests with very unique legal names that others may not recognize, using nicknames can avoid confusion. Additionally, if you or your guests have recently married or changed names, using nicknames or a combination of names and nicknames can be a sensible solution.

Married couple with different surnames

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different approaches you can take, depending on the tone and formality of your wedding. Here are some suggestions and guidelines for addressing invitations to married couples with different surnames:

• Use full names: It is generally considered more formal to use the full names of the invitees, even if they are known by nicknames. This can help set the tone for a more formal wedding. For example, you could address the invitation to "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Separate lines: When addressing a couple with different last names, it is often recommended to put their names on separate lines. This can make the invitation look neater, especially if the last names are long. For instance, you could write "Ms. Maria Stevens/Mr. David Estevez".
• Ask the couple: If you are unsure about how to address the couple, don't hesitate to ask them. They may have specific preferences or requests that you can accommodate. This can help ensure that you are respecting their choices and identities.
• Avoid assumptions: Avoid assuming that one spouse has taken the other's surname, especially if you are unsure. It is important to respect the individual identities of both partners and avoid outdated traditions that may be considered inappropriate.
• Inner envelope informality: While the outer envelope is typically more formal, the inner envelope can be more informal. You have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format, such as titles or last names. For example, you could write "Maria and David".
• Consider the couple's relationship: If you are closer to one spouse than the other, it is generally recommended to list that person's name first. This can be a thoughtful way to personalise the invitation and show your connection to the couple.

Unmarried couple living together

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples living together, there are a few options. The outer envelope should include both people's full names, with each name on a separate line. The inner envelope can then include the person's title and last name, or their first name only. For example:

Outer envelope:

Ms. Valerie Warrington

Mr. Brian Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Inner envelope:

Ms. Warrington

Mr. Freeman

Alternatively, you can use a more modern approach and include both people's titles and full names on the outer envelope, with an 'and' between them. The inner envelope can then include their first names. For example:

Outer envelope:

Ms. Valerie Warrington and Mr. Brian Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Inner envelope:

Valerie and Brian

It is important to note that the 'and' between the names on the outer envelope signifies marriage, so if you are addressing an unmarried couple, it is more appropriate to use separate lines. However, many couples still use the 'and' to signify a union of some sort, so the choice is ultimately up to you.

Single person with a plus-one

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different approaches you can take, depending on the formality of your wedding and your personal preferences. Here are some suggestions for addressing a single person with a plus-one:

Outer Envelope:

If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, you can address the outer envelope to the guest by their preferred title and full name or just their first and last name. For example, if your guest's name is Sam, you could write "Ms. Samantha Lee" or "Samantha Lee". If your guest prefers to go by their middle name or a nickname, it is generally considered acceptable to use that instead of their legal first name.

Inner Envelope:

On the inner envelope, you can be more informal. You can use just the guest's last name or first name, depending on what feels right for you. If you know the name of the plus-one, it is considered good etiquette to include them by name. For example, "Samantha and Guest" or "Sam and Guest".

Example 1: Outer Envelope - Ms. Ali Johnson; Inner Envelope - Ms. Johnson and Guest

Example 2: Outer Envelope - Mx. Sam Li; Inner Envelope - Sam Li and Plus-One

It is important to remember that the most important thing is to address your guests in a way that feels comfortable for them and fits with the tone of your wedding. You can also consider asking your guests how they would like to be addressed if you are unsure.

Addressing a family with children

When addressing a family with children, the format of your wedding invitation will depend on the age of the children and whether you are using single or double envelopes.

Single Envelope

If you are using a single envelope, you can address the invitation to the whole family, using "The [Family Name]" or list the parents' names. For example, "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". If there are children over the age of 18 living at home, they should be sent a separate invitation.

Double Envelopes

If you are using double envelopes, the outer envelope is more formal and should be addressed to the parents, using their titles and full names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham". The inner envelope is more informal and is where you list the children's names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany and Mx. Kelly".

Children's Names

If you are inviting children under the age of 18, their names are not required on the outer envelope but should be listed on the inner envelope. Boys under 16 do not need a title, but girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". If you are not inviting children, do not list their names, but be aware that some guests may still assume that their children are welcome. To avoid this, make it clear on your wedding website that the event is adults-only and ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word.

Frequently asked questions