Wedding Shower Envelope Etiquette: A Guide To Getting It Right

When addressing a bridal shower card envelope, it is customary to write the name(s) of the honoree(s). If the shower is traditional and only for the bride, you can address the card with Dear [Bride's First Name]. If it's a couple's shower, it's suitable to write Dear [Bride's First Name] and [Partner's First Name].

What to write on the envelope

When addressing the envelope of a bridal shower card, it is customary to write the name(s) of the honouree(s). If the shower is traditional and only for the bride, address the envelope using "Dear [Bride's First Name]". If it is a couple's shower, it is suitable to write "Dear [Bride's First Name] and [Partner's First Name]".

If you are delivering the card in person, simply write the name(s) of the honouree(s) on the envelope. If you are sending the card by mail, add the necessary mailing information.

Who to address the envelope to

When addressing the envelope for a bridal shower card, it's important to consider who the card is for. If the shower is traditional and only for the bride, you can address the envelope with "Dear [Bride's First Name]". If it's a couple's shower, it's suitable to write "Dear [Bride's First Name] and [Partner's First Name]".

If you are delivering the card in person, simply write the name(s) of the honoree(s) on the outside of the envelope. If you are sending your correspondence by mail, keep the same naming parameters in place while adding the necessary mailing information.

Traditionally, only women are invited to bridal showers. However, if you invite a man, write "Mr." before his name. For married women, it is more common now to use their given first name and married last name ("Mrs. Jane Smith"), although the traditional method of using her husband's name ("Mrs. John Smith") is still sometimes used. For widowed women, use "Ms." followed by their first and last name. Single or divorced women should be addressed as "Miss" followed by their first and last name.

When addressing couples, write both names on the same envelope. Nowadays, it doesn't matter which name comes first – the man's or the woman's. Address married couples as "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith" or "Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith" if she prefers "Ms.". You can also use "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" if you prefer to be more traditional. The only time when name order matters is when one person “outranks” the other, such as if one is a doctor. For example, "Doctor Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith".

How to address the envelope

When addressing the envelope of a bridal shower card, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to consider the nature of the bridal shower. If it's a traditional shower that focuses only on the bride, the card should be addressed to the bride herself. In this case, a simple "Dear [Bride's First Name]" will suffice.

However, if it's a couple's bridal shower, it's appropriate to address the card to both the bride and the partner. The card can be addressed as "Dear [Bride's First Name] and [Partner's First Name]".

If you are delivering the card in person, you only need to write the name(s) of the honouree(s) on the envelope. On the other hand, if you are sending the card by mail, be sure to include the necessary mailing information along with the recipient's name(s).

Ultimately, the way you address the envelope is a matter of personal preference and what feels right for your relationship with the couple. Some people might choose to address the card to both members of the couple even if the shower is traditional, especially if the gift is likely to be used by both of them.

• "Dear Sarah" (for a traditional bridal shower)
• "Dear Sarah and John" (for a couple's bridal shower)
• "Dear Sarah, future wife of John" (for a playful take on a traditional bridal shower)
• "Dearest Sarah and John, the happy couple" (for a couple's bridal shower with a joyful tone)

Remember, the most important thing is to use the format that feels most comfortable and aligns with the nature of the bridal shower and your relationship with the recipient(s).

What to write on the card inside

What to Write Inside a Wedding Shower Card

For a Daughter

You could begin by expressing your excitement and happiness for your daughter and her partner. You could also share your wishes for their future, such as:

> "I know you've looked forward to your big day for as long as you can remember. I'm just so grateful that I'll get to witness your joy."

You could also offer some advice on marriage, such as:

> "Marriage is full of ups and downs. Continue to celebrate and cherish the ups, and support and care for each other through the downs. We'll be here for you no matter what!"

For a Sister

For your sister, you might want to share a funny memory or a story from your childhood. You could also offer some words of support and encouragement, such as:

> "I've spent my whole life looking up to you and that will never change. I know your marriage will be just as much of an example."

You could also remind her that you will always be there for her, no matter what:

> "You're a bride today, a wife soon and my sister always. Giving you all my love on your shower day and every day."

For a Daughter-in-Law

If you are writing to your future daughter-in-law, you could welcome her into the family and express your joy at continuing to build a relationship with her. You could also share some thoughts about your son, such as:

> "I knew it would take a very special woman to be a match for my son... and once I met you, I knew you were the one! I am so thrilled to welcome you into our family and wish you both the very best."

For a Friend

For your friend, you could keep the tone of your message light and funny, or sweet and sentimental, depending on the nature of your friendship. You could also offer some help or support in the lead-up to the wedding:

> "Congratulations! I am so happy for you both, and I know you will have the most amazing life together. Thanks for letting me share in the excitement!"

For a Coworker

When writing to a coworker, it is best to keep your message short and sweet. You could thank them for including you in their celebrations and wish them a happy future:

> "Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day. I can't wait to celebrate with you!"

What to write if you can't attend

If you can't attend the wedding shower, it's still a thoughtful gesture to send a card to the bride-to-be. Here are some ideas for what to write:

Keep it simple

You could opt for a short and sweet message, such as:

• "I wish I could be there celebrating with you today. Sending you warm thoughts."
• "I can't be there today, but I'm so excited to see you on your wedding day."
• "I'm so sorry I can't be there with you today. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love."

Share a memory

You could share a happy memory of the bride that reflects her character strengths or the depth of your friendship:

• "I'll never forget when we [shared memory]. It always reminds me of your incredible [character strength]. I know that your marriage will be full of [character strength] too."
• "I feel so lucky to have known you for so many years and to have so many happy memories with you. I'm so sad I can't be there to celebrate you today, but I know it'll be a wonderful occasion and I can't wait to hear all about it."

Offer congratulations and well-wishes

A standard bridal shower card begins with congratulations, so you could focus your message on this, along with some words of encouragement:

• "Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I know it's been a lot of work planning, and I'm so sorry I can't be there to celebrate you at the bridal shower. I wish you all the best for your special day and a lifetime of happiness."
• "I'm so sad I can't be with you at your bridal shower, but I wanted to send my congratulations and best wishes. I know you're going to be a stunning bride and I hope you feel all the love today."

Include a quote

You could include a quote about love and marriage in your message:

• "I'm so sorry I can't be with you at your bridal shower, but I wanted to share this quote with you: 'May your love for God fuel your love for each other.' I'm so excited to see what the future holds for you and your partner."
• "Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I'm so happy for you and sorry I can't be there to celebrate at your bridal shower. Here's to 'a successful marriage [requiring] falling in love many times, always with the same person' [Mignon McLaughlin]."

Frequently asked questions