The Art Of The Wedding Toast: A Guide To Avoiding Disaster

Wedding toasts can be nerve-wracking, but they don't have to be. Here are some tips on how to give a great wedding toast that will leave a lasting impression on the happy couple and the guests.

First, know your audience. Keep in mind that your speech should focus on the couple and their special day. Avoid inside jokes, offensive remarks, or anything that might make the couple uncomfortable. Keep it clean and tasteful, and be mindful of the age range of the guests.

Second, prepare in advance. Outline your speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple. Share a story or two that showcases their best qualities and why they are a great match. Congratulate them and wish them a happy future together.

Third, keep it brief and engaging. Aim for a maximum of three minutes, with a clear message that combines humour and sentiment. Practice your speech out loud, memorise it if possible, and use note cards instead of reading from your phone. Make eye contact, speak clearly, and don't rush through your speech.

Finally, coordinate with the wedding planner. Know the reception timeline and order of events, and be ready with your speech when it's your turn. With these tips in mind, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and heartfelt wedding toast.

Keep it concise and straight to the point

The ideal length for a wedding toast is around three minutes. This is just enough time to say what you need to say without losing the attention of your audience. To ensure your speech doesn't drag on, keep it short and sweet, and straight to the point.

Outline

Before you begin writing your toast, it's a good idea to create an outline to help guide your speech. Here is a basic outline you can follow:

• Greeting and self-introduction
• Thanks to the hosts for the great party
• Funny, attention-grabbing opening line
• Anecdote(s) about the couple
• Reasons why the couple is great
• Congratulations
• Toast to the couple's future

Tips for Keeping it Concise

• Focus on the couple: Remember, this is their day, so make sure your speech is about them. Share stories and anecdotes that illustrate their unique qualities and why they are a great match.
• Keep it brief: Aim for a speech that is 2-5 minutes long. Any longer and you risk losing your audience's attention.
• Tell a story: Instead of simply listing the couple's qualities, share a story or two that showcases their virtues and their relationship.
• Combine humour with emotion: A perfect wedding toast includes a mix of humour and sentimentality. Include some clean jokes or light-hearted stories that will amuse and touch your audience.
• Practice: Rehearse your speech out loud several times to familiarise yourself with the material. This will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech doesn't drag on.

Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple

Introducing Yourself and Explaining Your Relationship to the Couple

The first step to giving a great wedding toast is to introduce yourself. This is especially important if you're not a close friend or family member of the couple and some guests might not know who you are. State your full name and your relationship to the couple. You can also add a one-liner to break the ice. For example, "Hi everyone! I'm Jessica Davis, the maid of honour, and I've known this beautiful bride since we met at summer camp in middle school."

If you're the parent of the bride or groom, you might want to share some memories from their childhood or young adult life. This can be a great way to give guests a glimpse into the couple's life before they met and show how proud you are of the person they've become. For instance, "I remember well how, in the summer of 2016, my son told me that he wanted to focus on his studies and then his career, and that family would come later. I told him, 'Don't make any promises. You don't know what's in store for you next month.' And I was right! Just four months later, he brought his future spouse to meet us for Thanksgiving. His mother and I immediately knew that this relationship was serious, and here we are today celebrating their wedding."

If you're a member of the wedding party, it's a nice touch to thank the hosts for putting on a great celebration. You can also thank your hosts if you're one of them.

Sharing Stories and Anecdotes

Once you've introduced yourself, it's time to dive into some stories and anecdotes about the couple. This is your chance to showcase their unique personalities and why they're a great match. Try to include one to three short and sweet stories that are flattering and funny. Avoid inside jokes that only a small group of people will understand, as this can make other guests feel left out. Opt for inclusive stories that will have a bigger impact on the entire audience.

If you're part of the wedding party and only know one half of the couple well, make sure to say some kind words about both the bride and groom. Share a story or two about the person you're closer to, and then talk about why you think their partner is a perfect match. For example, "Bride/Groom, as long as I've known you, you've been exceptionally kind and open-minded. I'll never forget the time when [share a story that showcases these traits]. I'm thrilled that you've found someone who shares and appreciates these qualities, and so many more."

If you know both the bride and groom well, share a story about them as a couple. This can be a funny anecdote or a sweet moment that showcases their connection. For instance, "We never had any doubts that this couple is made for each other. They are similar in character and even in their appearance! Let's raise our glasses to the newlyweds—finding your soulmate is something everyone can dream of."

Congratulating the Couple

Don't forget to congratulate the couple and wish them a happy future together. This is the main purpose of a wedding toast, so make sure to include some heartfelt words of celebration. You can also state that you knew they were meant to be together if you witnessed their relationship from the beginning. For example, "Tonight, we celebrate the union of two beautiful, wonderful people. Please join me in raising your glasses as we toast to the bride and groom and their happiness for years to come."

Include a few short anecdotes about the couple

When it comes to writing a wedding toast, it's important to include a few short anecdotes about the couple. These stories should be sweet and funny, showcasing the couple's virtues and unique qualities. Here are some tips to help you craft this section of your wedding toast:

Choose Meaningful Stories

Select anecdotes that are not only entertaining but also shed light on the couple's best qualities. For instance, you could share a story that demonstrates the couple's kindness, open-mindedness, or strong support system. Opt for stories that are positive, lighthearted, and relevant to the wedding or the couple's relationship.

Keep it Brief

While you want to provide some depth, it's crucial to keep your anecdotes short and sweet. Aim for a wedding toast that is around 2-3 minutes long. This ensures you capture your audience's attention without droning on.

Make it Relatable

While inside jokes should generally be avoided, you can include personal references if you provide a bit of context. Add a sentence or two of explanation to ensure your story connects with the entire audience, not just those "in the know." This way, you can include those special inside jokes while still making your speech inclusive.

Weave in a Theme

Consider choosing anecdotes that fit a specific theme. This theme could be related to the couple's relationship, such as how they met, or it could be a broader theme like "love conquers all." A theme will help tie your stories together and make your toast feel cohesive and intentional.

Include Both Individuals

Be sure to say something kind and sincere about each person in the couple. This ensures your speech doesn't feel lopsided and shows that you've taken the time to acknowledge and celebrate both the bride and the groom.

Back Up Your Claims

When describing the couple's wonderful qualities, try to include a short story or example to illustrate your point. For instance, if you mention the bride's kindness, share a quick anecdote that showcases this trait. This approach will make your toast more interesting and convincing.

Opt for Clean Humour

When incorporating humour into your anecdotes, be mindful of your audience. Keep the humour clean and suitable for all ages. Avoid anything that might be considered offensive or inappropriate. Self-deprecating humour is always a safe bet!

By following these tips and choosing the right anecdotes, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and heartfelt wedding toast that celebrates the happy couple.

Congratulate the couple and wish them a happy future

When giving a wedding toast, it's important to congratulate the couple and wish them a happy future. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a heartfelt and memorable toast:

Tips for Congratulating the Couple

• Begin your toast with an attention-grabbing opener, such as a quick joke, a brief story about the couple, or a famous love quote.
• Introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the couple. For example, “Hi everyone! I'm Jessica Davis, the maid of honour, and I've known this beautiful bride since we met at summer camp in middle school."
• Express your gratitude and honour for being part of their special day.
• Share a sweet, heartfelt, or funny anecdote about the couple that showcases their love, achievements, and journey together. Ensure it's appropriate for all guests.
• Offer your well wishes, hopes, and dreams for their future together.
• Raise your glass and invite the guests to join you in congratulating the couple. You can simply say, "Cheers!" or "Here's to Mr. and Mrs. X!"

Examples of Congratulatory Toasts

• "May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many."
• "May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam."
• "May your love always be added. May it never be subtracted. May your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided!"
• "May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever."
• "May you live as long as you like, and have all you like for as long as you live."
• "Here's to love, laughter, and happily ever after. As [Groom] and [Bride] start their new life, let's toast the new husband and wife!"
• "May your life together be full of adventure, laughter, and only toothpaste tubes with the cap on and squeezed from the bottom. We're not animals."
• "May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow less as your blessings increase."
• "May your marriage be blessed with love that grows stronger each day, a home filled with laughter and joy, and a deep appreciation for each other. May your love be a beacon of hope and an inspiration to others."

Address both newlyweds

Addressing both newlyweds in a wedding toast is a relatively new phenomenon but it is certainly growing in popularity. It is a great way of showing that you are a team and a united front. Here are some tips on how to do it:

Thank the Guests

Welcome your guests and acknowledge their presence and how important they are to you. Thank them for coming and perhaps single out those who have travelled the farthest to be there.

Thank Your Parents and Wedding Party

Begin by thanking both sets of parents, the wedding party, and anyone else who has helped with the planning process. If one or both sets of parents contributed financially, be sure to thank them for making the day possible. You can also thank your new spouse here, or you may want to save that for the end.

Share Stories and Anecdotes

Use one to three short anecdotes or stories that illustrate who the other person is to you and why you make a good match. You can also share how you met and what has made your relationship so strong.

Offer Wishes and Advice

Detail your wishes for the couple's future and offer any advice you want to share.

Raise a Toast

End your speech by inviting the guests to raise a glass to the newlyweds, to love, to life, or to your new spouse.

Keep it Short and Sweet

Your speech should only be two to five minutes long, so get straight to the point.

Be Yourself

Be polite and be grateful, but also be yourself. Inject humour where appropriate, but don't feel the need to cram in jokes if that's not your style.

Frequently asked questions