Wedding invitations are an important part of the planning process. They set the tone for the wedding and convey critical information. But what do you do with your invitation after the big day? Here are some ideas:
What You'll Learn
What to include on your wedding invitation
When it comes to what to include on your wedding invitation, there are a few key elements that you should definitely feature. Here is a list of what to include, along with some optional extras that you may want to add:
The essentials:
- Host line: Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation, even for very formal affairs. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is becoming more common and is a gracious option, no matter who is paying. If the couple and their parents are contributing, you can opt for something like, "Together with their parents" or "Together with their families".
- Attendance request: This is the request to attend, which lets guests know exactly what they're being invited to. For example, "request the pleasure of your company" or "invite you to celebrate with them".
- Your names: The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and sometimes in a fancy typeface. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name typically goes first, but you can order the names however you feel is right. LGBTQIA+ couples may choose to list their names alphabetically, by age, or however else they prefer.
- Date and time: Confirming the date and time of your wedding is an absolute must. Avoid latecomers by stating the start time, and ensure you provide the hour and time of day (a.m. vs. p.m.) to avoid confusion. On formal invitations, write out the time rather than using numerals (e.g. "four o'clock in the afternoon").
- Location: Include the name and full address of your wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If your wedding is abroad, include the country as well. If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, you can simply include a line like "Reception to follow".
Optional extras:
- Reception details: If the reception is at a different location, you can include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card tucked in with your main invitation.
- Dress code: Including dress code information isn't compulsory, but it can be helpful for guests. This is usually included in the lower corner or bottom centre of the invite.
- RSVP card: Most couples choose to include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return. You can also give guests the option to RSVP via your wedding website.
- Extra information about the venue: If you're getting married somewhere unique or somewhere your guests may not be familiar with, it's useful to include an insert with extra information, such as parking instructions or a custom map of the area.
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How to assemble your wedding invitation
The first step in assembling your wedding invitation is to decide on the wording. This includes the host line, attendance request, the couple's names, date and time, location, and reception details. You may also want to include an optional dress code.
The host line is an opening line that names the hosts of the event, usually the people paying for the wedding. If you are hosting the wedding yourself, this line can be omitted. The attendance request lets guests know exactly what they are being invited to. The couple's names are usually displayed in larger text and sometimes in a fancy typeface.
Traditionally, the date and time are spelled out in full, while modern invites often use numerical figures. Be sure to include the name and full address of the venue, including the state and zip code, and the country if the wedding is taking place abroad. If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply say "reception to follow." Otherwise, include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card tucked into the invitation.
The next step is to choose your stationery design. You can opt for a simple design or something more extravagant, such as letterpress or engraving. If you are including any enclosure cards, such as RSVP cards, maps, or accommodation information, be sure to choose matching wedding stationery so that guests understand that the extra cards are related to the main event.
Finally, assemble your invitation suite by neatly arranging the invitation and any enclosure cards inside the envelope. You may want to use an invitation wrapper, such as a belly band or silk ribbon, to hold all the pieces together. Don't forget to include a stamp on the envelope, and consider having your stamps hand-cancelled rather than machine-cancelled to avoid tacky, wavy lines on your envelope.
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How to address your wedding invitation envelopes
There are a few things to consider when addressing your wedding invitation envelopes. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you with this task:
- Outer Envelope: The outer envelope is the one that will be seen by the post office and should be more formal. A good option is to write the recipient's full name, including their personal title. For example, for a married couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line, with the woman's name first: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
- Inner Envelope: The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to leave out some elements of the formal name format. For example, for the married couple mentioned above, you could write: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
- Single Guests: When addressing a single guest, use their preferred title, such as "Ms." or "Mr.". If you are unsure, it is best to forgo the title altogether. For a single female, the outer envelope could be addressed to: "Ms. Stephanie Chen", while the inner envelope could be: "Ms. Chen" or "Stephanie".
- Plus-ones: If a guest has a plus-one, mention their name on the inner envelope if you have that information. Otherwise, "and Guest" will suffice.
- Families: When inviting a family with young children (under 18), the outer envelope should include only the parent(s) or guardian(s) names. List each child's name on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". If you do not include each child's name, it implies that children are not invited.
- Adults-only weddings: To indicate that your wedding is adults-only, address the outer and inner envelopes to only the adult guests. You can also write the names of invited guests on the response card.
- Distinguished Titles: If a guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military personnel, it is proper to address them by that title on the envelope. For example, for a doctor: "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood".
- Unmarried Couples: For unmarried couples living at the same address, include both names on one line on the outer envelope, listing the person you are closest with first: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
- Same-sex Couples: When addressing same-sex couples, either name can go first. For example, "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell".
- Name Order: When addressing couples, you can choose to list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order. Ultimately, the only exception is when distinguished titles are involved, in which case, the person with the higher-ranking title should be named first.
- One Envelope: If you are using only one envelope, clearly state the names of all invited parties on the front, including guests who would typically only be listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones and children.
- Handwriting: Individually addressing your wedding invitations by hand is a nice touch, but it is not necessary. You can print guest address labels or buy pre-printed envelopes. Alternatively, you can hire a local calligrapher.
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How to word your wedding RSVP cards
Wedding RSVP cards are an important part of your wedding stationery suite. They give your guests the first taste of your theme and help you finalise your guest list and ensure a smooth wedding planning process. Here is a guide on how to word your wedding RSVP cards:
What to Include on a Wedding RSVP Card
- A blank line for guests to write their names: On a formal RSVP card, this is usually indicated with an "M" at the start of the line, where guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name.
- The RSVP reply due date: This is usually set for three to four weeks before the wedding date.
- The "will attend" line: A simple phrase such as "Yes, I will attend your wedding" or "Accepts with pleasure".
- The "unable to attend" line: For guests who cannot make it, such as "Declines with regret".
- Choice of entrées: If offering meal choices at the reception, include a line for guests to indicate their preference.
Creative and Fun RSVP Wording Ideas
You can add a little fun to your wedding RSVP card wording by replacing the expected phrases with something more whimsical:
- Instead of "Accepts with pleasure", try: "Two words... free booze" or "I'll be there with bells on".
- Instead of "Declines with regret", how about: "Will cheers from afar" or "No, and I'll forever regret this decision".
Wedding RSVP Card Wording Examples
Wedding RSVP Card with Pre-Addressed and Stamped Envelopes
> _the twenty-second of September_
> _[_] Accepts with Pleasure [_] Declines with Regrets_
Wedding RSVP Card with Entrée Options
> _The Favor of your response is requested by_
> _the twelfth of February_
> _[_] Joyfully Accepts [_] Regretfully Declines_
> _Please initial the meal choice for each guest_
> _[_] Cabernet Filet Mignon_
> _[_] Baked Salmon Filet_
> _[_] Quinoa with Tempeh_
Wedding RSVP Card for Phone or Email Responses
> _[_] Will Attend [_] Unable to Attend_
> _the seventeenth of December_
How to Address Wedding RSVP Cards
- Always pre-address and stamp the envelopes: As part of the wedding stationery suite, wedding response cards should have matching envelopes, which should be pre-addressed and stamped.
- Consider the formality and style of your wedding: Address your cards according to the formality and theme of your wedding day, just as you would address your wedding invitation envelopes.
- Pick the right return address: The return address for your RSVP cards might not be the same as for your main invitation. Use the address of the person in charge of collecting the replies.
- Don't forget the stamp: Including a stamp is a courteous gesture and will increase the likelihood of guests returning the card on time.
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When to send out your wedding invitations
Timing:
It is recommended to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This timeframe allows your guests to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. It also enables you to receive RSVPs earlier and have a final headcount for catering and seating chart finalisation.
Destination Weddings:
For destination weddings or weddings with many overseas guests, consider sending invitations earlier, around nine to twelve weeks in advance. This will provide your international guests with ample time to plan their travels and make accommodation arrangements.
Holidays:
If your wedding date is near a major holiday, such as Christmas, it is advisable to send invitations earlier than the standard timeline. Sending invitations three months in advance or more will allow guests to plan their holidays accordingly.
Save-the-Dates:
Sending save-the-date cards is a helpful step, especially for destination weddings or weddings where guests need to make travel plans. Save-the-dates are typically sent four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier for destination weddings.
B-List Guests:
If you have a B-list of guests, it is considerate to send their invitations at least six weeks in advance. This will show that you are not treating them as an afterthought and gives them a reasonable amount of time to plan and respond.
Timely Reminders:
If you have not received responses from some guests by your RSVP deadline, give them a quick call or send a gentle reminder. This will help ensure you have an accurate headcount for your final preparations.
Post-Wedding Thank-You Notes:
Don't forget to send thank-you notes to your guests for their attendance and any gifts received during the wedding festivities. It is considerate to send these notes within two to three weeks after the wedding.
Remember, the timing of sending out your wedding invitations is essential to give your guests enough notice and ensure a smooth planning process for your big day.
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