Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Reservation Requests

Wedding invitations are a crucial logistical element of your big day. They are the first glimpse your guests will get of your wedding style and theme, but they also need to convey important information. While you can be creative with the design, it's essential to clearly communicate the who, what, where, and when of your wedding.

One question that often comes up is whether to include a wedding reservation request on the invitation. This can be a tricky issue, as you want to ensure that your guests have a clear understanding of their invitation status and avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Some couples choose to address the invitation specifically to those invited, including any plus-ones by name if possible. This approach helps indicate the number of guests invited and avoids potential misunderstandings. Others may prefer to include a line on the RSVP card, such as We have reserved ____ seats in your honour.

Including clear and specific information about the number of invited guests is essential to managing your guest list and ensuring that your wedding plans go smoothly.

How to indicate the number of guests invited

Deciding how many people to invite to your wedding is a tricky task, and it's important to get it right as it will impact nearly every subsequent planning detail. The number of guests you invite will be determined by several factors, including your wedding budget and the capacity of your venue.

When it comes to indicating the number of guests invited on your wedding invitations, here are some tips to help you communicate this clearly and politely:

• Address your invitations to specific individuals: On the outer envelope, print the names of the invited guests. For example, if you are inviting a couple with children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "The Smith Family." This makes it clear that only the people listed are invited.
• Be explicit about the number of seats reserved: On the RSVP card, clearly indicate the number of seats that have been reserved for the invited guests. For example, you can write, "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour" or "_____ of _____ attending." This ensures that guests understand how many people are invited and prevents them from adding extra plus ones.
• Include a line for each guest: On the RSVP card, provide a separate line for each invited guest to write their name. This helps you keep track of who is attending and can make it clearer that only the invited guests are expected.
• Be consistent across multiple places: In addition to the outer envelope and RSVP card, you can also indicate the number of guests invited on the inner envelope and the invitation card. This reinforces your message and avoids any confusion or misunderstandings.
• Provide additional details on your wedding website: If you have a wedding website, use it to communicate any extra information or clarifications about the guest list. This can be a helpful way to provide more details without overcrowding your invitations.
• Handle exceptions gracefully: If some guests add extra names to their RSVP or bring additional people, it's important to handle the situation gracefully. Contact them politely to explain your seating arrangements and guest list constraints.

How to indicate a specific number of guests on the RSVP card

When it comes to wedding planning, it's important to get the details right, especially when it comes to the invitations and RSVP cards. Here are some instructive and focused tips on how to indicate a specific number of guests on the RSVP card:

• Address the Invitation Specifically: Ensure that the wedding invitation is addressed to the specific individuals who are invited. For example, if inviting a family, address it to "The Smith Family". If a family member has a plus one, include their name as well, such as "The Smith Family and John Doe". This makes it clear who the invitation is for and helps manage guest expectations.
• Specify the Number of Seats: On the RSVP card, clearly indicate the number of seats that have been reserved for the invited guests. You can use phrases such as "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour" or "___ seats have been reserved in your honour". Filling in the number of seats helps prevent confusion and gives your guests a clear understanding of how many people are invited.
• Include Lines for Guest Names: On the RSVP card, provide lines for guests to write their names. This is important for keeping track of who is attending and can be especially useful if you're creating a seating chart. It also helps to avoid any ambiguity and ensures that only the invited guests attend.
• Number the RSVP Cards: Consider numbering the RSVP cards, especially if you anticipate a large number of responses. This helps in keeping track of the responses and ensures that you can follow up with guests who haven't responded by the deadline.
• Provide a Deadline: Always include a deadline for responding to the RSVP cards. This is crucial for finalising catering details and creating a seating chart. A general rule of thumb is to set the RSVP date at least two to four weeks before the wedding date.
• Be Clear About Children: If you are inviting families with children, be explicit about whether the children are included in the invitation. You can address this by writing "The Smith Family, including Timmy and Sarah" if the children are invited, or simply "The Smith Family" if they are not.
• Offer a Digital Option: In addition to physical RSVP cards, provide an online option through your wedding website. This can make it easier for guests to respond and helps streamline the process for you.
• Be Consistent with Wording: Maintain consistent wording between the invitation and the RSVP card. For example, if your invitation says "The honour of your presence", the RSVP card can say "The favour of a reply". This creates a cohesive experience for your guests.
• Include a Line for Meal Choices: If you're offering meal choices at your wedding, include a line on the RSVP card for guests to indicate their preferences. This helps with planning and ensures that your guests' needs are accommodated.
• Be Proactive with Plus Ones: If you are inviting guests with plus ones, be clear about who is invited. If a guest is in a relationship, it's polite to address the invitation to both individuals by name. If a guest is single, you may choose to extend a plus one or not, depending on your preferences and dynamics.

Remember, it's important to be clear and concise on your RSVP cards to avoid any confusion for your guests. These tips will help ensure that your wedding planning goes smoothly and that you have an accurate headcount for your special day.

How to address wedding invites

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your guests feel welcome and included. Here are some tips on how to address wedding invites:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the one that will be stamped and addressed for mailing. Here are some guidelines for addressing the outer envelope:

• For a married couple with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".
• For married couples with different last names, write their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." For example: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• When addressing an unmarried couple living together, include both full names on one or two lines with appropriate titles. List the person you are closer to first. For example: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
• For single persons, use the appropriate prefix ("Mr." for men, "Ms." for women, and "Mx." for non-binary guests) followed by their full name. For example: "Ms. Stephanie Chen".
• When inviting a family, you can either address the envelope to the whole family or include "and children" after the parents' names. For example: "The Carter Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson and children".
• For those with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, or judges, use their titles in the address. For married couples with distinguished titles, use "The Doctors", "The Captains", etc. For example: "The Doctors Smith".

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is optional and is used to indicate the names of the invitees. It is more informal than the outer envelope. Here are some tips for addressing the inner envelope:

• For a married couple, use their titles and last name or their first names. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
• For unmarried couples, use their titles and last names or their first names. For example: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda".
• For single persons with a plus one, use their name and "and guest" on the inner envelope. For example: "Ms. Chen and guest".
• When inviting a family, list the names of the children (in order of birth) separately after addressing the parents. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".

Other Considerations:

• It is not necessary to include middle names or initials on the envelopes. Spell out the guests' full names, including titles.
• Be mindful of the timeline when sending out invitations and setting the RSVP deadline. Invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, and the RSVP deadline should be about 2-4 weeks before the wedding.
• If you are having an adults-only wedding, be intentional about how you address the invitations. Only include the names of the invited adult guests on the envelopes.
• It is not considered proper etiquette to include "adults-only" or registry information directly on the invitation. Instead, spread the word through family and friends and include this information on your wedding website.

How to indicate a reception-only wedding

If you're planning a small, intimate ceremony and a larger reception, you'll need to be clear about this in your invitations. Here are some tips on how to indicate that your wedding will be a reception-only event:

• Create two separate guest lists: One for the wedding ceremony and reception, and one for the reception only. The ceremony and reception guest lists can be as small as you wish, but ensure that everyone who gets a ceremony invitation is also included in the reception.
• Choose your timing: If you're planning both the ceremony and reception for the same day, consider having the ceremony earlier to allow for plenty of time to celebrate with your intimate group of guests before the reception. If you're having the ceremony and reception on different days, you can be more flexible with the timing.
• Print two different invitations: One that invites guests to the ceremony and reception, and one that invites guests to the reception only. This option can be more expensive, as you'll need two separate invitation suites.
• Print one invitation with a ceremony details card: Include an insert card with ceremony details for the smaller group of guests who will also be invited to the ceremony. This card can be more personal, with a sweet message or note about the intimacy of the event.
• Use clear wording: On the invitation, instead of inviting guests to witness your marriage, the wording should indicate that guests are invited to a reception celebrating your marriage. Here are some examples:
• " [Names of couple] request the pleasure of your company for a reception in celebration of their new marriage."
• "The newlyweds [Names of couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• " [Names of couple] will be married in a small ceremony on [date]. Please join us at their wedding reception on [date]."
• Send invitations on time: Send reception-only invitations six to eight weeks before the event. If many guests will need to travel, consider sending them earlier. You may also send save-the-dates six months or more in advance.
• Include RSVP cards: Provide a way for guests to RSVP, such as RSVP cards or online RSVPs through your wedding website.

What to include in a wedding invitation suite

A wedding invitation suite refers to all the paper goods sent along with the wedding invitation. While the specifics of what to include may vary depending on the wedding, there are several traditional and optional elements that you can choose to incorporate. Here is a comprehensive guide on what to include in your wedding invitation suite:

Traditional Elements:

• The Wedding Invitation: This is the main component and should include key details such as the date, time, ceremony location, and reception location.
• Response Card and Envelope: Include a response card for guests to confirm their attendance, meal choices, and other event details. Provide a pre-addressed and stamped envelope for their convenience.
• Outer Envelope: An envelope to hold all the components of the invitation suite.
• Addressed/Postmarked RSVP Envelope: A small envelope designed to fit the response card, stamped, and addressed to you.
• Stamp: Ensure you have the correct postage for your envelope, especially if it contains multiple inserts.

Optional Elements:

• Reception Card: If your reception is at a different location or you have additional details to share, include a separate card with the reception information, including the location, address, and time.
• Accommodations Card: Inform out-of-town guests about hotel options, room block information, and transportation details.
• Weekend Events Card: If you have multiple events throughout the wedding weekend, such as welcome drinks or a brunch, include an itinerary for your guests.
• Directions Card: Provide directions and a map, especially if your wedding is in a rural area or if some guests may not have access to smartphones.
• Inner Envelope: This can be used to list the names of the invited guests, including any plus-ones or children.
• Address Labels: Streamline the look of your envelopes with address labels, especially if you are not addressing them by hand.
• Envelope Liners: Add aesthetic interest to the inside of your envelope with patterned liners.
• Belly Bands or Ribbon: Use paper, ribbon, lace, or twine to hold all the pieces of your invitation suite together neatly.
• Wax Seal: Personalize your suite with a wax seal, perhaps featuring your wedding monogram or a simple motif.

Frequently asked questions