Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Inviting Wedding Guests With A Twist

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, and one of the most important aspects is the guest list. The same goes for the rehearsal dinner, which usually takes place the day before the wedding. The rehearsal dinner is typically hosted by the groom's parents, but it can also be hosted by the couple or other close family members. It is considered good etiquette to invite immediate family members, the bridal party, and the officiant to the rehearsal dinner. Some couples also choose to invite out-of-town guests, extended family, and plus-ones of the bridal party. The rehearsal dinner invitation should include the host's name, the couple's names, the date, time, location, dress code, and RSVP information. The invitations can be sent digitally or by mail, and they should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding, after the main wedding invitations have been mailed.

Who to invite to the rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal dinner is usually the first event of the wedding weekend, so it's important to carefully consider who to invite. The hosts (those who are paying) have the final say on the guest list.

Here's who should definitely get an invite:

• Immediate family members, including parents, siblings, and grandparents.
• The bridal party, including the parents of the flower girl and ring bearer, even if they're not in the wedding.
• Any ceremony readers.
• The officiant, and their spouse, if married.
• The wedding party's plus-ones, if they are married or in a serious relationship.

Here's who you might also want to invite:

• Extended family members, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins, especially if your families are small.
• Out-of-town guests, if there aren't too many. If you can't accommodate all out-of-town guests, consider hosting a separate welcome celebration, such as a sit-down dinner or cocktails at a bar.

Rehearsal dinner invitation wording

The rehearsal dinner is the first event of the wedding weekend, so the invitation wording is almost as important as the wedding invitation itself. While you don't have to follow tradition exactly, it's important to be thoughtful about the wording so that your guests aren't confused. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect rehearsal dinner invitation:

What to Include

• Host's name: Traditionally, the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner, but nowadays, the couple or any close family members can host.
• Couple's names: Include the couple's first names unless it's a more formal event, in which case, use full names.
• Date, time, and location: Specify the date and time of the rehearsal dinner, and include the venue name and address.
• RSVP information: Include a phone number and/or email address for the designated RSVP point person, along with an RSVP deadline.
• Dress code: Indicate the expected attire, such as formal, semi-formal, cocktail, or informal.
• Rehearsal information: If everyone invited to the rehearsal dinner is also attending the rehearsal, include the rehearsal details in the invitation.

Wording Tips

• Keep it clear and concise: Avoid flowery language and long paragraphs. Use simple, easy-to-understand wording to ensure important details don't get lost.
• Match the level of formality: The wording should match the level of formality of the event. Rehearsal dinners are typically more informal, so a casual tone is often appropriate.
• Add a personal touch: Include a meaningful quote, poem excerpt, or song lyric to make your invitation memorable.

Examples of Rehearsal Dinner Invitation Wording

Simple:

> Please join us for a rehearsal dinner honouring the union of Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. RSVP to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date].

Formal:

> Mr. and Mrs. Smith request your attendance at their rehearsal dinner on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. Kindly send all responses to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date].

Romantic:

> The soon-to-be wedded Mr. and Mrs. Smith invite you to a celebration of their love on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. Send all rehearsal dinner RSVPs to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date].

Creative:

> "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin. Celebrate the love story of Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. Send all rehearsal dinner RSVPs to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date].

Fun:

> Before we say 'I do', we want to see you! Please join us for a rehearsal dinner honouring the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Friday, March 4, at 7 PM at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. Send all RSVPs by email to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date].

How to send rehearsal dinner invitations

The rehearsal dinner is usually the first event of the wedding weekend, so the invitation etiquette is almost as important as the wedding invitation itself. While you don't need to follow tradition exactly, it's important to consider who you're inviting and how to word the invitations so your guests aren't confused.

Who Sends the Invitations?

According to wedding planner Laura Maddox, whoever pays for the event gets the final say on the guest list and sends out the invitations. Traditionally, the groom's parents host and pay for the rehearsal dinner, but this isn't always the case, especially for LGBTQIA+ weddings. The couple may host it themselves, or the couple's families can contribute together.

All rehearsal dinner invites should include:

• The host of the rehearsal dinner
• The names of the couple
• The event date, time, and location
• The RSVP deadline and method (email is often the easiest option)
• Any additional information such as the wedding website and dress code

Traditionally, rehearsal dinner invitations are sent as paper invitations in a separate mailing, but digital invitations are also acceptable. Paper invites are usually the smarter route as they bring more weight and help set the tone for the weekend. However, if your budget doesn't allow for printed materials, email invitations are a good alternative.

Rehearsal dinner invitations can be sent out as early as four weeks in advance. It's recommended to send them after you've mailed your wedding invites. Another option is to send the rehearsal dinner invite with the wedding invitation, but only to the smaller group of guests who are invited to both events. This saves on postage, but it can get confusing if you're not careful.

Rehearsal dinner RSVPs are typically handled more informally than wedding invitations. Guests can respond via email, phone call, or text message. Include the designated person's contact information and an RSVP deadline on the invite.

How to address rehearsal dinner envelopes

When addressing rehearsal dinner envelopes, it's important to be clear about who is invited. If everyone in a household is invited, including children, you can address the envelope to "The [Last Name] Family". If only specific individuals are invited, address it to their names, for example, "Blake and Sandy Shelton". It's also a good idea to find out the name of a guest's plus-one and include them on the invitation.

• Use your best writing and consider addressing the envelopes by hand for a personal touch. If you're not confident in your penmanship, you can hire a professional or ask a friend to help.
• Research the marital status of your guests beforehand and use the appropriate titles (Mr., Miss, Mrs., etc.) when addressing the envelopes.
• Avoid abbreviations for street names unless they are extremely long.
• Include the city name, two-letter state abbreviation, and ZIP code.
• On the back of the envelope, write the sender's name and address.
• Add a gold embossed sticker where the envelope flap meets the body.

Remember, if you're sending the rehearsal dinner invitations separately from the wedding invitations, you can keep the wording more casual, especially if you're having a relaxed event.

When to send rehearsal dinner invitations

When it comes to sending out rehearsal dinner invitations, timing is key. It's best to send them out at least four weeks before the event, and it's considered good etiquette to send them after you've mailed your wedding invites. This gives your guests plenty of time to plan and make arrangements.

If you're opting for a traditional paper invitation, sending them via mail is a more formal approach. However, digital invitations are also becoming increasingly acceptable, and can be a convenient option.

To save on postage, you can include the rehearsal dinner invitation with the wedding invite, but this method has its challenges. Ensure that only guests invited to the rehearsal dinner receive the separate notice, as mixing the two invites can cause confusion.

Planning ahead is crucial. It's recommended to start planning your rehearsal dinner three to six months before your wedding. This gives you ample time to organize all the details, from the guest list to the invitations.

Frequently asked questions