Wedding Invite Etiquette: Dr. Or Mr.?

There are many different opinions on whether to use Dr. or Mr. on wedding invites. Some people believe that using Dr. on a wedding invite is too formal or even pretentious, while others believe it is a well-earned title that should be respected and used. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference, and there is no clear-cut rule. However, it is worth noting that some sources suggest that the use of Dr. is more appropriate for formal weddings, while Mr. or Ms. may be more suitable for casual weddings.

Bride and groom titles on wedding invites

There are many different ways to address the bride and groom on wedding invites, and the "correct" way to do it depends on a number of factors, including the couple's titles and last names, as well as the formality of the event.

If the couple shares a last name, a traditional way to address them is "Mr. and Mrs. [Shared Last Name]". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Rivera". If the couple has different last names, their names can be listed separately, with the person closest to the invitee listed first. For instance, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

If one or both members of the couple are doctors, there are a few options for how to address them. Some sources suggest that medical doctors should use their professional titles on wedding invitations, while others argue that medical degrees are professional designations that don't belong on a social invitation. If you do choose to include professional titles, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith", and the inner envelope as "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith". If both members of the couple are doctors, the outer envelope can be addressed as "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith", and the inner envelope as "The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela".

It's worth noting that some people may view the use of "Dr." on a wedding invitation as pretentious or boastful, especially if the wedding is a casual event. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to include titles on the invitation is a personal one, and there is no clear-cut rule. If you are unsure, it may be a good idea to consider the formality of the event and the preferences of the couple.

Wedding invite wording

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business, and there are many different opinions on the correct etiquette. Here is a guide to help you navigate this.

Formality

Firstly, consider the formality of your wedding. If it is a formal or black-tie event, then it is more common to use titles such as Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms, and Dr. If it is a casual, informal wedding, then it may be more suitable to use just first and last names, or even just first names.

If you are using titles, then there are some rules to follow. For unmarried couples, both names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. For married couples with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". If the couple has different last names, the outer envelope should have both names on the same line, with the woman's name first. If the couple has a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope should read "Mr. [Name] and Mr. [Name]-[Name]".

Professional Titles

If your wedding has a formal tone, then it is proper etiquette to address guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel. Spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate to "Dr." on the inner envelope. For married doctors, you can address them as "The Doctors [Surname]". For military personnel, use their full title, for example, "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy". For lawyers, use "Esq." after their name. For judges, use "The Honorable [Name]".

Other Considerations

If you are inviting a single woman over the age of 18, use "Ms.", and for those under 18, use "Miss". For single men, use "Mr." if they are over 18; otherwise, no title is necessary. When inviting a family with children, the outer envelope should be addressed to the parents, and the children's names can be included on the inner envelope.

Bride and Groom Titles

Now, to address the original question: should you use Dr or Mr for the wedding invite? There is no clear-cut rule, and it is ultimately a personal preference. Some people feel that a wedding is a social event, and so professional titles are not necessary. Others feel that they have earned their title and want to use it. If the wedding is very formal, with a high level of "fanciness", then using "Dr" could be more appropriate. However, some people feel that "Mr and Mrs" sounds more like a union, whereas "Dr and Dr" sounds more like a professional setting. You could also choose to just use your first and middle names, or even just your names without any titles.

Guest Preferences

It is also important to consider the preferences of your guests. If you are unsure, it is best to play it safe and forgo titles altogether. Always double-check your guests' preferred personal titles, especially if they do not identify as Mr, Mrs, Miss, or Ms. You can also use gender-neutral titles, such as "Mx."

Wedding invite etiquette

Wedding invites are the first glimpse your guests will get of your big day, so it's important to get them right. Here are some wedding invite etiquette tips to ensure your invites are both informative and stylish.

Timing

It's important to send your invites out with enough time for your guests to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. For a destination wedding, it's a good idea to send out save-the-date cards six to eight months in advance, but these can be mailed up to a year ahead if you've finalised the details.

RSVP Date

Your RSVP date should be at least two to three weeks before your wedding date to allow enough time to confirm final numbers with your caterer and finalise your seating chart. Most couples request RSVPs three to six weeks before the wedding.

Paperless Invites

Digital invitations are not traditional, but if you're planning an eco-friendly wedding, they may be the way to go. Just be mindful of guests who are less tech-savvy and consider providing physical invitations for them.

What to Include

The invites should specify the date, time, and location of the ceremony, and whether the reception will be at the same venue or not. It's also a good idea to include any pre- and post-wedding events, hotel information, and a link to your wedding website, where guests can find further details. Don't forget to include the dress code!

Addressing the Invites

Use your guests' preferred titles and spell their names correctly. For married couples with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the person you're closest to, or the woman's name, first, e.g., "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

If one of the spouses is a doctor, spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope, e.g., "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith" on the outer envelope and "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" on the inner envelope. If both spouses are doctors, you can use "The Doctors" on the outer envelope, e.g., "The Doctors Smith".

Plus-ones

If a guest has been given a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Only include "and guest" on the inner envelope, e.g., "Ms. Stephanie Chen" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Chen and guest" on the inner envelope.

Wedding invite format

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different elements to consider. Firstly, the wording and etiquette, and secondly, the format and design.

Wording and Etiquette:

The wording of a wedding invitation can be tricky, but the most important rule is to create something that represents you, your partner, and your love. Here are some tips to guide you:

• Host Line: Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and their names are listed at the top of the invitation. However, it is also acceptable and gracious to list the names of both sets of parents, especially if both families are contributing financially. If the couple is hosting, you can skip the host line or start with a warm introduction like "Together with full hearts".
• Request Line: This is where you invite people to attend your wedding and set the tone for the celebration. Some examples include "request the honour of your presence" for a religious service or "request the pleasure of your company" for a non-religious ceremony.
• Action Line: Here, you specify what you are inviting guests to share in, such as "at the marriage of their daughter" if the bride's parents are hosting, or "at the celebration of their union" if the couple is hosting.
• Couple's Names: For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's full name. For same-sex couples, you can list names alphabetically by last name or based on design preference. Using only first names is also an option for a less formal feel.
• Date and Time: Traditionally, these are spelled out in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon".
• Venue: List the venue name and city, state on separate lines. The street address is usually omitted unless the venue is a private residence.
• Reception Information: If the reception is at the same location, you can simply say "Reception to follow". If it's elsewhere, include the details on a separate insert card.
• Dress Code: Including this is optional, but it can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black-tie, it must be included. Otherwise, guests will infer the dress code based on the formality of the invitation.
• Website: Avoid printing the wedding website on the main invitation card. Instead, include it on a separate reception or additional information card.

Format and Design:

The format and design of your wedding invitation can vary depending on the formality of your wedding and your personal preferences. Here are some tips:

• Envelopes: Traditionally, outer envelopes are more formal and include the recipient's full name and title (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms., or Mx.). Inner envelopes are more informal, allowing you to use first names only if desired.
• Invitation Card: This is where you include the host line, request line, action line, couple's names, date and time, and venue.
• Reception Card: If the reception is at a different location, include these details on a separate card.
• Response Card: Also known as an RSVP card, this is where guests can confirm their attendance. Include a reply-by date, typically three to four weeks before the wedding.
• Additional Cards: Depending on your wedding, you may include activity cards for wedding weekend events, information cards with additional details like transportation or lodging, and accommodation cards for guests.

Remember, your wedding invitation should reflect the theme and style of your special day. Whether it's rustic, modern, minimalist, or whimsical, make sure it represents you and your partner.

Wedding invite envelopes

Wedding invitation envelopes can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to titles and names. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you address your wedding invitation envelopes:

Outer Envelopes:

The outer envelope is the one that will be seen by the post office and delivered to your guests. It is generally more formal and traditional. Here are some points to consider:

• Use full names and titles: For a formal affair, it is customary to use the recipient's full name and title on the outer envelope. This includes titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" for a heterosexual married couple with the same last name.
• Married Couple with Different Last Names: When addressing a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line, with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Unmarried Couple: For unmarried couples living at the same address, list both names on one line, with the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
• Single Individuals: For single individuals, use "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women over the age of 18. For example, "Mr. James Montgomery" or "Ms. Stephanie Chen". If a plus-one is included, mention it only on the inner envelope, such as "Ms. Chen and guest".
• Distinguished Titles: If your guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military personnel, it is proper to use their title on the outer envelope. For example, "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith" or "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly".
• Children and Families: When inviting a family with children, list only the parents' names on the outer envelope. For example, "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". If children are included, their names can be added to the inner envelope.

Inner Envelopes:

The inner envelope is more informal and casual. You have more flexibility with the format and can choose to include or exclude titles. Here are some options:

• Married Couple: For a married couple, you can use their first names or a combination of titles and last names. For example, "Thomas and Michelle" or "Mr. and Mrs. Warren".
• Unmarried Couple: Similar to the outer envelope, list both names with the person you are closest to first. You can use titles or just first names. For example, "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda".
• Single Individuals: For single individuals, you can use their first name only or include the title and last name. For example, "Mr. Montgomery" or "James". If a plus-one is included, mention it on the inner envelope, such as "James and guest".
• Distinguished Titles: For guests with distinguished titles, you can abbreviate "Doctor" on the inner envelope. For example, "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith". If both spouses are doctors, you can use "The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela".
• Children and Families: When inviting a family with children, list the parents' names followed by the children's names on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". For example, "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".

Additional Considerations:

• Gender-neutral Titles: Be mindful of your guests' preferences and use gender-neutral titles when appropriate. For example, use "Mx." instead of "Mr." or "Ms." if a guest identifies as non-binary.
• Modern Approach: If you prefer a more modern and casual approach, you can forgo titles altogether and use only first and last names on both the outer and inner envelopes. This is especially relevant if you feel that personal titles might be restrictive or exclusive for your guest list.
• Handwriting vs. Printing: Individually addressing envelopes by hand adds a nice touch, but it is not necessary. You can print guest address labels, buy pre-printed envelopes, or hire a calligrapher to neatly address the envelopes for you.
• Order of Names: When addressing a couple, you can list the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner. Alternatively, you can go in alphabetical order by last name. The only exception is when distinguished titles are involved; in this case, the person with the higher-ranking title should be named first, regardless of gender.

Frequently asked questions