Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Gifts Or Money?

It can be tricky to navigate the wording on your wedding invitations to reflect your wishes regarding gifts. While it is acceptable to ask for money instead of physical gifts, it is best to do so politely and subtly. Here are some ways to convey this message:

- Include a line on your wedding invitations about gifting or having a 'wishing well'.

- Address it on your wedding website by setting up an FAQ page.

- Ask friends or family members to spread the word.

- Set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund with a gift registry service.

- Use a lighthearted poem in your wedding invitation to communicate your wishes without any awkwardness.

Asking for money on wedding invitations

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be a tricky situation to navigate. While it may be considered rude to specify what gifts you want, it is now common and acceptable for couples to ask for money instead of physical gifts. This is especially true for couples who have lived together for a while and don't need homeware items or those who are planning a honeymoon and would appreciate financial help.

Be Direct but Polite

When addressing your wishes for gifts on your wedding invitations, it's essential to strike a balance between being direct and maintaining politeness. Here are some examples:

• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."
• "The most important thing to us is that you are able to celebrate with us on our wedding day. However, if you wish to give a gift, we will gratefully accept a small contribution towards our honeymoon."
• "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture. So, if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we kindly request a monetary contribution towards our future plans."

Use a Poem or Lighthearted Verse

Including a poem or a lighthearted verse in your invitation is a creative and elegant way to ask for money. This approach adds a personal touch and reflects your personality as a couple. Here's an example:

> "As we've lived together for a year or two,

> We really don't need anything new.

> But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,

> Some money for our future adventures would be a wonderful gift!"

Provide a Registry or Fund Option

Consider setting up a honeymoon fund, house deposit fund, or home improvement fund that guests can contribute to. This approach allows guests to feel like they are contributing to something specific and meaningful. You can include a line on your invitation or wedding website that says:

"We've set up a honeymoon fund for those who wish to give a gift. Details can be found on our wedding website."

Spread the Word Through Family and Friends

Another option is to ask your close family members and friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts. They can tactfully inform other guests about your wishes and explain the reasons behind your request, such as saving for a trip or a new home.

Remember, it's essential to be sensitive to your guests' feelings and preferences. Be sure to express your gratitude for their presence and their contributions, regardless of the form they take.

Best wishes on your special day!

Using a wedding website to ask for money

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be tricky, but it's becoming more common, especially for couples who have lived together for years and don't need any upgrades to their appliances and linens, or those who live in a small space and don't have room for new purchases. It's also a great option if you're planning a honeymoon that's getting pricey. Here are some tips on how to use your wedding website to politely ask for monetary gifts:

Be Subtle and Polite

It's essential to be subtle and polite when asking for money as a wedding gift. You don't want to come across as rude or presumptuous. Instead of directly asking for cash, use subtle wording or a lighthearted poem to convey your wishes. For example, you could say, "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."

Address it on Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is a great place to provide information and answer any questions your guests may have. Create an FAQ page and include a question about gifts, such as "What about gifts?" or "What should I give as a gift?". This way, it feels less direct and more like you're addressing the issue because you've already received some queries.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Cash

Letting guests know how you plan to use the money can make them feel more connected to you and your plans. For example, if you're saving for a honeymoon, renovating your home, or moving across the country, mention it on your wedding website. Adding a personal touch to your story will make your guests feel more inclined to contribute.

Use a Cash or Honeymoon Registry Website

Using a cash or honeymoon registry website, such as Honeyfund or Zola, is a clear signal that you prefer cash gifts. These websites allow guests to make monetary contributions towards specific goals, such as a honeymoon or a new home. It also eliminates the awkwardness of asking how you'd like to receive the money.

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website

Make sure to include a link to your wedding website on your invitations. This way, guests can easily find information about your gift preferences. Add a section on your website specifically for gifts and mention that you'd love cash donations or honeymoon contributions. You can include a simple message like, "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts," followed by what you plan to spend the money on.

Mention Your Wishes to Close Friends and Family Members

Another way to spread the word is by telling your close friends and family members about your preference for cash gifts. They can then let the rest of your guests know and help field any questions. This way, you can focus on other aspects of your wedding planning.

Spreading the word through family and friends

When it comes to your wedding, it's understandable that you may not want gifts, but rather, money or funds. However, it can be tricky to navigate the wording on your invitations to reflect your wishes. Here are some ways to spread the word through family and friends:

Be Direct and Specific

It is essential to communicate your wishes clearly to your family and friends. Let them know that you would prefer monetary gifts or contributions to a specific fund, such as a honeymoon or house deposit. You could say something like:

> "We don't need any physical gifts, but if you wish to contribute, we would greatly appreciate a monetary gift or a donation to our honeymoon fund."

Provide a Link to Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is a great place to provide more detailed information about your preferences. Include a section on the website that talks about gifts, and mention that you would prefer cash donations or contributions to a specific fund. You can also provide a link to your registry or a way for guests to contribute directly. This approach allows guests to familiarise themselves with the process and eliminates the awkwardness of asking how they can give.

Ask Close Friends and Family to Spread the Word

Another effective way to get your message across is to inform your closest friends and family members and let word-of-mouth take care of the rest. They can casually mention your preference to other guests and help field any questions. This approach can be risky, as it may not be as controlled as other methods, but it can be successful if handled delicately.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Money

Sharing your plans for the monetary gifts can make the request more personal and help guests feel more connected to your plans. For example, you could say:

> "We're saving up for our dream honeymoon to [location], and any contributions towards this would be greatly appreciated."

Offer Other Alternatives

While you may prefer monetary gifts, some guests may still want to give a physical present. You can make suggestions for other gift ideas or create a small, tailored gift registry with physical items. This approach allows guests who enjoy the gift-giving process to choose something more tangible.

Setting up a gift registry service

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's essential to communicate your wishes clearly to your guests. If you prefer to receive money instead of gifts, there are tasteful and tactful ways to express this. Here are some guidelines for setting up a gift registry service to request monetary gifts:

• Choose a Gift Registry Platform: Select a reputable online gift registry platform such as Honeyfund, Zola, or MyRegistry. These platforms allow you to create a registry and request monetary gifts for various purposes. They offer features like cash funds, honeymoon funds, or even charitable donations.
• Create an Account and Set Up Your Registry: Sign up for an account on your chosen platform and start creating your gift registry. Include a personal touch by sharing your story, plans, and how you intend to use the monetary gifts. For example, mention if you are saving for a honeymoon, planning to renovate your home, or contributing to a charitable cause.
• Provide Clear Instructions: Ensure you give clear and concise instructions on how guests can contribute to your registry. Provide the necessary payment methods, such as online transfers, cheque, or cash options. Make it convenient for your guests to fulfil your request.
• Link Your Registry to Your Wedding Website: If you have a wedding website, be sure to include a link to your gift registry. This makes it easily accessible for guests who want to contribute. You can also include this link in your wedding invitation suite or provide it to your family and friends to spread the word.
• Consider a Traditional Registry as Well: While your focus is on monetary gifts, it's advisable to create a small traditional registry with a few physical gift options. This caters to guests who prefer giving tangible presents. It also ensures that you receive items you truly want and need, making the process easier for both you and your guests.
• Express Gratitude: Always express your gratitude, whether guests contribute to your registry, give physical gifts, or donate to your chosen charity. Send personalised thank-you notes within a few months of your wedding. It's essential to acknowledge their generosity and thoughtfulness.

By following these steps, you can effectively set up a gift registry service to request monetary gifts for your wedding. Remember to keep your communication warm and friendly, ensuring your guests understand your preferences without feeling pressured.

Using poems to ask for money

Asking for money instead of gifts can be tricky, but wedding poems are a great way to make this request in a cute and creative way. Here are some ideas for poems you can include in your wedding invitations to politely ask for monetary gifts:

For Couples Who Already Live Together

"As we’ve lived together for a year or two,

We really don’t need anything new.

But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,

Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss."

"We haven’t included a gift list in our invite,

As we have everything—it just wasn’t right…

To ask for more things for the life we lead,

When a reliable new car is just what we need!

If you were thinking of a gift for us to start our married life,

Some money would make us a very happy [husband/wife] and wife!"

For Couples Buying a New Home

"As we’re getting married we thought it would be fun,

To move into a brand new home—we need to get it done.

As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,

Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!"

"We’ll soon be saying ‘I Do’,

And for a gift, if you haven’t got a clue,

Then we’d really love some cash,

So that for our home we can splash out

On a cosy new bed for two!"

For Honeymoon Contributions

"We’ll be [husband and wife/ husband and husband / wife and wife] for the rest of our life,

In our little home made for two.

But instead of a vase or a new kitchen knife,

We’d love to fly off to somewhere new.

A week on a beach would be ideal,

So instead of a gift, your contribution would help buy us a hotel room or a romantic meal!"

"We’re looking forward to seeing you on our very special day,

We hope that it will be perfect in every single way.

As a couple, we know that love is all we need forever,

But a honeymoon after our wedding would be great…

We’ve not got the money to take this very special trip,

And we hope that you can help us fulfil our dream, whether it be on a plane or a ship!

Some money would really be the perfect gift to give,

Instead of new pots and pans for the house in which we live!"

For Couples Funding Their Future Together

"In joy and love, our hearts unite,

As we embark on this wondrous flight.

Your presence, dear, is our greatest delight,

But if you wish to gift, we have a simple invite.

With dreams to build and plans to grow,

A little cash would help us so.

For memories made and dreams to share,

Your generous hearts will show you care."

"As we gather to celebrate our special day,

Your presence means the world in every way.

In lieu of gifts that may gather dust,

We ask for cash to help build our trust.

With dreams of a home and plans to grow,

Your generous hearts will help us sow.

Each pound a brick in the life we’ll create,

Together we’ll flourish, it’s never too late."

For Newlyweds Starting a Family

"On this beautiful day, as we say “I do,”

We’re grateful for each of you, and for all that you do.

As we begin our journey, hand in hand,

We hope to create a family so grand.

Instead of gifts wrapped in paper and bows,

We kindly ask for your help as we grow.

A monetary gift to help us start right,

Will help make our dreams shine so very bright."

Remember, when using poems to ask for money, it's important to be specific about what the money will be used for, such as a honeymoon, a new home, or a car. This way, your guests will know that their contributions are going towards something meaningful for your future together.

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