Addressing Wedding Invites: When You Know The Female Guest

Wedding invitations can be a tricky business, and it's important to get them right to avoid causing any unintentional offence. The traditional way to address a female guest is to use Ms. if she is over 18, or Miss if she is younger. However, some modern alternatives include using Mx. for non-binary guests, or simply forgoing titles altogether. When addressing the envelope, it's best to use the guest's full name, rather than a nickname, and to spell out their full address, including street names and the state in full.

Single female under 18: 'Miss'

When addressing wedding invitations to single females under the age of 18, the general rule is to use the title "Miss". This is considered more acceptable than "Ms." for minors. Here are some examples of how to address these invitations:

Outer Envelope:

• "Miss Stephanie Chen"
• "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner"

Inner Envelope:

• "Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"
• "Miss Tanner" or "Donna-Jo"

If the single female guest is over 18, "Ms." is the appropriate title. It is also worth noting that if the guest is a widow, divorced, or uses her maiden name, you may use "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on her preference.

In addition, if you are addressing an entire family that includes female children under 18, you can follow this format:

Outer Envelope:

• "The Thompson Family"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
• "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner Envelope:

"Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

Or:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Simpson"
• "Bart, Lisa, and Maggie"

Single female over 18: 'Ms.'

When addressing wedding invitations to single females, the key considerations are their age and marital status.

Single Female Over 18: Ms.

For a single woman over the age of 18, the prefix "Ms." is used. This is considered more formal and respectful than using just their first name, especially for older or more conservative guests.

Outer Envelope:

On the outer envelope, the guest's full name is used, along with the "Ms." prefix:

"Ms. Stephanie Chen"

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to use just the prefix and last name or their first name:

"Ms. Chen" or "Stephanie"

With a Plus-One:

If the single female guest has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, use the "and guest" language on the inner envelope only:

"Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"

Single Female Under 18: Miss

For female guests under the age of 18, the prefix "Miss" is used, spelled out rather than abbreviated as an initial. This is a more acceptable and respectful form of address for minors.

Outer Envelope:

Again, the outer envelope uses the guest's full name with the appropriate prefix:

"Miss Stephanie Chen"

Inner Envelope:

As with adult guests, the inner envelope can be more informal, using just the prefix and last name, or the guest's first name:

"Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"

General Guidelines:

• Always use the complete, formal name of the guest.
• Use the guest's full middle name if you know it; otherwise, omit it. Never use initials or abbreviations.
• For a casual wedding, you may be able to use just first names or leave off titles, but it's generally safer to err on the side of formality.
• If you're unsure of a guest's preferred title, it's best to forgo it altogether.
• For guests with distinguished titles (e.g., doctors, lawyers, judges, military personnel), use their title on the outer envelope.

Married female: 'Mrs.'

When addressing wedding invitations to married women, there are a few different options to consider. The traditional way to address a married couple is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". However, this practice has fallen out of favour in recent years, as many modern women prefer not to have their names left out or lumped in with their husbands. In this case, you can address the couple by their individual names, for example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

If the married couple has the same last name, you can simply use their first names after the titles, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

If the married couple has different last names, the woman's name is usually written first, followed by the man's name. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately.

When addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name, use the following format: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft". On the inner envelope, you can refer to them as "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or by their first names.

It is important to note that the outer envelope should be more formal, including the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal, and you can leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. Always use the person's preferred title and double-check their preferred name format beforehand.

Divorced female: 'Mrs.' or 'Ms.'

When addressing wedding invitations to divorced women, the correct title to use depends on whether she has reverted to her maiden name or retained her married name. If she has reverted to her maiden name, the correct title is "Ms.", for example, "Ms. Susan Hughes". If she has retained her married name, then the correct form is "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by her first name, for example, "Mrs. Susan Reynolds" or "Ms. Susan Reynolds".

It is important to note that the use of "Mrs." with the woman's married surname is no longer an option if she is divorced, unless she is still using her married name. In this case, "Mrs." can be used, but it is more common to use "Ms." to avoid assumptions about marital status.

Some divorced women may prefer to use "Mrs." with their married name if they have children and want to share the same surname as them. This is a personal preference, and it is always best to ask the individual which title they prefer.

When addressing the outer envelope of a wedding invitation to a divorced woman, use her full name and title, such as "Ms. Susan Hughes" or "Mrs. Susan Reynolds". On the inner envelope, you can refer to her using her title and last name only, for example, "Ms. Reynolds" or "Mrs. Reynolds".

If the divorced woman has a known guest, list her name first, followed by her guest's full name on the line below. On the inner envelope, drop the first name and use her title and last name, followed by her guest's name, for example, "Ms. Reynolds and guest".

If the divorced woman has an unknown guest, list her name and "and guest" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, include only "and guest" with her name, written in lowercase, for example, "Mrs. Susan Reynolds and guest".

Widowed female: 'Mrs.' or 'Ms.'

When addressing wedding invitations to a widow, it is generally considered correct to use the title "Mrs." along with her married last name, if she chose to take it. However, there are some exceptions to this rule, and it is always best to check with the widow directly before finalising the invitations. If the widow has legally reverted to her maiden name, if a great deal of time has passed since the death of her spouse, or if she is remarried or dating someone, it may be more appropriate to use "Ms." or simply address her by her full name.

For formal wedding invitations, the outer envelope should include the recipient's full name and title. For a widow, this would typically be "Mrs. [First Name] [Married Last Name]". For more casual invitations, a less formal salutation can be used, such as "Mrs. [First Name] [Married Last Name]" or simply "[Full Name]".

It is worth noting that the use of "Ms." or "Miss" for widows is less common but may be preferred by some widows, especially in cases where the widow has been widowed for a long time or has remarried. Ultimately, the choice of title is up to the individual widow, and it is important to respect their preference.

Frequently asked questions