In Memoriam: Honoring Late Family At Your Wedding

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a number of etiquette rules to follow. If a parent of the bride or groom has passed away, it is still possible to include them on the invitation. The general format is as follows:

[Engaged Person’s Name]

child of [Parent’s Name] and the late [Parent’s Name]

[Engaged Person’s Name]

child of [Parent’s Name] and [Parent’s Name]

request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

This format allows for the memory of the deceased parent to be honoured while still following traditional invitation etiquette.

How to word a wedding invitation when one parent is deceased

If you've lost a parent and would like to honour them on your wedding day, you can include their name on your wedding invitation. Here are some examples of how to word your wedding invitation when a parent has passed away:

Bride's Parent Has Passed Away

This example is formal and perfect for a traditional wedding. For a same-sex wedding with two grooms, simply swap "daughter" for "son":

> Mrs Sharon Henderson

>

> and the late Mr Nathan Henderson

>

> request the honour of your presence

>

> at the marriage of their daughter

>

> Preston John Brackman

>

> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July

>

> Two thousand and twenty-six

>

> at five o'clock in the evening

>

> Dripping Springs, Texas

Groom's Parent Has Passed Away

Since the bride's name is traditionally listed first, the invitation wording changes slightly if the groom's parent has passed away:

> Mr and Mrs Jay Courier

>

> Mrs Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton

>

> request the honour of your presence

>

> at the marriage of their children

>

> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July

>

> Two thousand and twenty-six

>

> at five o'clock in the evening

>

> 912 Sixth Street South

>

> Minneapolis, Minnesota

Less Formal Invitation

If you prefer a less formal invitation, you can use first names and refer to friends and family:

> Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma

>

> and their families and friends

>

> request the honour of your presence

>

> at the celebration of their marriage

>

> on Saturday, July 21st, 2024, at 6:00 pm

>

> Bluxome Street Winery

>

> San Francisco, California

Single Parent, Widow or Widower

If you prefer not to include your deceased parent on the invitation, that's okay too. Here's an example of wording the invitation from one parent only:

> Mrs Angela Eldridge

>

> requests the honour of your presence

>

> at the marriage of her daughter

>

> Trevor Patrick Everett

>

> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July

>

> Two thousand and twenty-six

>

> at five o'clock in the evening

>

> 1982 North Bay Avenue

>

> Knox Bay, Rhode Island

How to word a wedding invitation when both parents are deceased

If you've lost both parents and want to include them on your wedding invitations, there are a few ways to do so. Here are some examples of how to word your invitations with both parents deceased:

Formal Wording for Bride with Deceased Parents:

> The late Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

>

> request the honour of your presence

>

> at the marriage of their daughter

>

> [Bride's Name]

>

> to

>

> [Groom's Name]

>

> on [date]

>

> at [time]

>

> [Venue Address]

Informal Wording for Bride with Deceased Parents:

> The late [Parents' Names]

>

> invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter

>

> [Bride's Name]

>

> and

>

> [Groom's Name]

>

> on [date] at [time]

>

> [Venue Address/Name]

Tips for Addressing Wedding Invitations:

• Use double envelopes for a more formal affair, with the outer envelope being more formal and the inner envelope more casual.
• Use full names and honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc.) on the outer envelope and first names on the inner envelope.
• For widowed parents, reach out to a family member to ask their preference for events. Use their full name followed by their married last name or their husband's full name if you're unsure.
• If you're inviting children under 18, include their names on the inner envelope, but not the outer envelope.
• Don't include the names of children who aren't invited on either envelope.

How to address a wedding invitation when the father of the bride is dead

When addressing a wedding invitation, the outer envelope is generally more formal than the inner one. The outer envelope should include titles and complete names, while the inner envelope can be addressed with simple first names and without titles.

If the father of the bride has passed away, there are a few ways to word the invitation depending on who is hosting the wedding. Here are some options:

• "Together with their families, [Bride] and [Groom] invite you to their wedding."
• "Mrs [Bride's Mom] and the late [Bride's Dad] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [Bride] to [Groom]."
• "Mrs [Bride's Mom], daughter of the late [Bride's Dad] and [Bride's Mom], requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter [Bride] to [Groom]."
• "The families and friends of [Bride], daughter of Fatima and the late Arjun Sharma, and [Groom] invite you to their wedding."

Remember, it is your special day, so feel free to adapt the wording to your preferences and what feels right for you.

How to address a wedding invitation after a recent death

When addressing a wedding invitation after a recent death, it is important to be sensitive and thoughtful. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this situation:

Timing and Delivery:

• Consider sending the invitation to the bereaved individual separately from the other invitations. This allows you to be more thoughtful and personal in your approach.
• If possible, wait until after the funeral to send the invitation. This gives the grieving individual some time and space.
• You may want to consider hand-delivering the invitation with a kind letter or note expressing your condolences and that you would love for them to attend, but understand if they need more time or are unable to come.
• If you have known the family for a long time, it may be appropriate to pay them a visit and deliver the invitation in person.

Addressing the Envelope:

• Do not include the name of the deceased individual on the envelope, especially if their death was recent. This could be hurtful and seen as inappropriate.
• For a widow, the traditional way to address the envelope is "Mrs. John Doe," using her deceased husband's full name with the "Mrs." prefix. However, this may be seen as outdated.
• A more modern and customary approach is to use the widow's own first name and omit her deceased husband's name: "Mrs. Jane Doe."
• If the deceased parent died a long time ago or the surviving parent has remarried, they might not be listed on the invitation at all.

Wording the Invitation:

• If one parent is deceased, you can honour their memory by including them on the invitation. An example format is: " [Engaged Person's Name], child of [Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name] [...] request the honour of your presence at their marriage."
• If both parents are deceased, you can follow a similar format: " [Engaged Person's Name], child of the late [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name] [...] request the honour of your presence at their marriage."
• If one parent is deceased but the surviving parent has remarried, you can include the step-parent's name: " [Engaged Person's Name], child of [Parent's Name] and [Step-Parent's Name], the late [Deceased Parent's Name] [...] request the honour of your presence at their marriage."
• Remember, you can list as many names as you like, but consider the available space on the invitation.

Honoring the Deceased Parent at the Wedding:

• There are other ways to honour a deceased parent during the wedding ceremony and reception.
• You can reserve a seat for them at the ceremony and reception, imagining they are there with you.
• Include a note "in loving memory" of your parent(s) in the wedding program.
• Give a toast or read a memorial poem dedicated to your parent(s) during the ceremony or reception.
• Incorporate memorial candles or flowers that remind you of your deceased parent.

Remember to be mindful of the bereaved individual's feelings and give them the option to attend without pressure. This thoughtful approach will show your support and respect during their difficult time.

Ways to honour a deceased parent at a wedding

There are many ways to honour a deceased parent at a wedding. Here are some ideas to consider:

During Wedding Speeches

• Read a poem of remembrance. Poetry helps put words to feelings and experiences. You can read a poem you wrote yourself, a modern poem, or a classic piece of poetry.
• Offer a toast on behalf of your loved one. By toasting them, you will encourage your whole family, friends, and guests to honour them. Consider toasting with their favourite drink to honour their memory.
• Read a letter from or to your loved one. Many parents write notes to their children to read on their wedding day. If you don’t have a letter, consider writing your own letter explaining what their love meant to you and why you want them to be part of your wedding day.
• Hold a time of silence. Take a few moments to quietly reflect on your own before the festivities start, with your partner during the ceremony, or with your guests during the reception.
• Say a prayer or share a quote. Include the memory of your late loved one in your wedding speech through prayer or a meaningful quote.

During the Ceremony

• Leave a chair open. Your loved one would have been sitting in the first few rows during your ceremony, so consider leaving a chair open to represent their presence.
• Light a memorial candle. In many cultures, lighting a candle is a symbol of unity. As a twist on this tradition, consider lighting a candle to represent loved ones that have passed away.
• Write a message in the programs. If you plan on printing a program, this can be a perfect place to write a message in honour of your loved one. Write a short tribute, such as their name with the words “remembering” or “In remembrance.
• Carry a memento with you. Consider wearing a memento or carrying one with you in your bouquet. A memento could be anything from their cufflinks and handkerchief to an heirloom necklace.
• Honour their memory during the ceremony. Talk to the officiant and tell them you’d like to honour your loved one’s memory during the ceremony. They may suggest options such as reading quotes, passages, and other tributes.

During the Reception

• Play a favourite song. Playing your loved one’s favourite song is a great way to start the party. When you play this song, you’re sure to keep their memory close.
• Create a commemorative presentation. Consider sharing slideshows, videos, and memories of your loved one. Include photos of you and your loved one, family photos, and special memories of your time together.
• Visit their grave. Visit the grave alone or with your spouse and leave a bouquet to share your joy and let them be part of the festivities.
• Create an 'In Memoriam' table. Reserve a special place at your reception by arranging a table filled with framed photos of your loved one. You can also create a memory box, where guests can write down and share their favourite memories.
• Share a sentimental recipe. For someone who loved to cook, try serving cookies made from your grandmother's award-winning recipe or treat guests to the same combo of snacks you'd always find in your dad's fridge.
• Display family photos and heirlooms. Showcase some of their favourite belongings, such as family photos and heirlooms, or anything else that reminds you of them.
• Give wedding favours in their honour. Leave your guests with a memory of your loved one. Offer a special favour inspired by something they loved and include a sign to explain the token.
• Donate to a charity. In lieu of gifts, use your wedding registry to set up a cash fund to raise money for charity. Make a donation in support of something your loved one was passionate about.

Frequently asked questions