Addressing Wedding Invites: Unmarried Couples

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few options. If the couple lives together, their names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you know them both equally well, alphabetical order is the way to go. If the couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each person. However, if you want to avoid sending multiple invites, you can send one invitation to the person you are closest to and include and guest on the inner envelope for their partner.

If the unmarried couple lives together, put both names on the same line

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples who live together, it is important to put both names on the same line. This is the correct etiquette, and it is also a way to avoid any potential awkwardness if the couple were to break up before the wedding.

If you are inviting an unmarried couple who live together, you should address them as a social unit. This means including both names on the invitation, even if you are much closer to one half of the couple than the other. It is considered rude to address the invitation to just one person and add "and guest", so make sure to include both names.

The outer envelope should be formal. You can use titles and full names, or just full names. For example:

> Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

> Mr. Aaron Triguiero and Mr. Gabriel Reyes

> Ms. Susan Bunch and Ms. Carol Willik-Bunch

> Mr. Mitchell Pritchett and Mr. Cameron Tucker

If the names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately:

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

The inner envelope is more informal, so you can use first names only if you wish:

> Stanley and Amanda

> Mr. Triguiero and Mr. Reyes

> Susan and Carol

> Mitchell and Cameron

If you are equally close to both people in the couple, list the names in alphabetical order.

If the couple doesn't live together, send separate invites

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples who don't live together, it is generally considered good etiquette to send separate invitations to each individual. This approach respects the fact that they are separate households and ensures that each person feels valued as an invited guest. Here are some tips to guide you in this process:

Send Invitations to Their Respective Addresses

It is important to send separate invitations to the individual addresses of each partner. This way, you acknowledge their separate living arrangements and show that you value them equally as friends or family members. It also avoids any potential confusion or awkwardness that might arise from sending an invitation to only one person's address.

Include Both Names on the Inner Envelope

Even though you are sending separate invitations, it is important to include both names on the inner envelope of each invitation. This makes it clear that you are inviting them as a couple and would like them to attend together. Addressing them by their names, rather than using "and guest," shows respect for their relationship.

Be Mindful of Your Wording

When addressing the outer envelope, use the appropriate titles and full names of each individual. For example, "Mr. John Smith" and "Ms. Jane Doe." Avoid using "and" to separate their names, as this is not considered proper etiquette. Instead, write their names on separate lines or use "and guest" on the inner envelope if you are unable to obtain the partner's name.

Consider Your Relationship with Each Partner

If you are significantly closer to one partner than the other, you may want to consider sending the primary invitation to that person's address. However, it is still important to include the other partner's name on the inner envelope to make it clear that they are both invited. This approach can also be useful if you are unsure about the stability of their relationship and want to avoid potential complications if they were to separate before the wedding.

Communicate Your Intentions Clearly

If you are only using outer envelopes, you may want to include a note or verbally communicate to each partner that you are looking forward to seeing them both at the wedding. This ensures that there is no confusion about the guest list and that your intentions are clear. It also helps to avoid any potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Be Consistent in Your Approach

Finally, remember to apply a consistent policy when inviting unmarried couples. Treating similar relationships in a similar manner will help to avoid any potential hurt feelings or misunderstandings. It also demonstrates that you have put thought and care into your guest list and invitation process.

If sending one invite, address it to the person you're closest to

If you're sending a joint invitation to an unmarried couple, it's important to address both people on the envelope. Here are some tips to help you navigate this etiquette gracefully:

Outer Envelope Etiquette

When addressing the outer envelope to an unmarried couple, there are a few options to consider. One option is to list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. For example:

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

This format is a good choice if you are not very close to either person or if you want to maintain a more formal tone.

Another option is to list both names on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order. For example:

Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

This format is more informal and intimate, indicating that you are close to the couple and want to include them both in the invitation.

Inner Envelope Etiquette

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use courtesy titles with last names or just first names if you are close with the couple. For example:

Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross

Living Arrangements Matter

It's also important to consider the living arrangements of the unmarried couple. If they live together, it is standard etiquette to include both names on the invitation, following the formats mentioned above. However, if they live separately, it is more common to send an invitation only to the person you are closest to and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their significant other.

Avoiding Awkward Situations

When deciding whether to send one or two invitations to an unmarried couple, consider the potential for future changes in their relationship status. If they were to break up before the wedding, would you still want both of them to attend? Sending a joint invitation avoids any awkward conversations that may arise from such situations. However, if you feel that sending separate invitations might offend the couple, it is certainly acceptable to follow the etiquette for couples living together.

If you're inviting a non-binary person, use the honorific 'Mx'

When inviting a non-binary person to a wedding, it is important to use their preferred honorific. One option is "Mx.", a gender-neutral title. This can be used on both the outer and inner envelopes of the invitation.

For example, if the non-binary person has a plus-one, the outer envelope could be addressed to:

> Mx. Sam Li

And the inner envelope:

> Sam Li and Guest

If you are inviting a non-binary person without a plus-one, the outer envelope could be:

> Mx. Sam Li

And the inner envelope:

> Mx. Li

Or

> Sam Li

It is always important to check with the invitee about their preferred personal title and use that in the wedding invitation.

If the couple might break up, consider sending separate invites

If you're concerned about the unmarried couple breaking up before your wedding, it's important to handle your guest list and invitations with care. Here are some tips to consider:

Send Separate Invitations

If the unmarried couple lives separately, it is generally considered proper etiquette to send separate invitations to each individual. This approach ensures that each person receives their own invite and avoids any confusion or hurt feelings. However, if you are close to both partners and would invite them even if they were not a couple, sending separate invitations to their respective homes can be a good option. This makes it clear that you want both of them to attend and avoids any potential issues if they were to break up.

Handle it on a Case-by-Case Basis

If the couple breaks up before your wedding, it's essential to handle the situation delicately. Contact them individually to confirm their attendance and let them know that they are still welcome to bring a guest if they wish. This approach can help avoid any awkwardness and ensure that your guest list remains intact.

Avoid "and Guest"

Using "and Guest" on an invitation can be considered rude and insulting, especially if you know the partner's name. It is more respectful to include both names on the invitation, even if they are not married or living together. This shows that you recognise their relationship and value their presence at your wedding.

Be Mindful of Your Guest's Feelings

Consider how your guests might feel when receiving their invitation. For example, your brother's girlfriend might know not to attend if they break up, but she could still feel hurt if addressed as "and Guest" after spending holidays with your family. Recognise that a wedding invitation is more than just a formality – it's an opportunity to make your guests feel valued and included in your special day.

Have a Consistent Policy

While it's not your place to judge the seriousness of a relationship, it's important to have a consistent policy when inviting unmarried couples. Including all sweethearts is the easiest way to avoid upsetting or offending your friends and family. Remember, it's not just about the guest list; it's about maintaining positive relationships and showing consideration for your loved ones.

Be Prepared for Questions

Your guests might reach out to ask about bringing a plus-one, especially if their relationship status has changed recently. Be open to these conversations and enquiries, and try to be accommodating if possible. It's essential to communicate your decisions clearly and kindly to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Frequently asked questions