Franklin Dean
Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, and there are nuances to consider when writing out your guests' names, depending on their relationship status, titles, and whether they're bringing a plus one. The traditional way to address a married couple is to use Mr. and Mrs. and spell out the husband's first and last name, but this can be seen as antiquated and sexist. A more modern approach is to include both first names individually or write out each person's full name with Mr. or Mrs. on the stationery. Same-sex couples should follow the same format, ensuring they address their guests with the appropriate prefix. For unmarried couples living together, list both people's full names on one or two lines, starting with the person you are closest to. For single persons, use the proper prefix Mr., Ms., or Mx. in addressing your guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Married couple, same last name | "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]" or "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]" |
| Married couple, woman kept maiden name | Wife's name first, followed by husband's name |
| Married couple, different last names | "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]" or "Mrs. [Wife's Full Name] and Mr. [Husband's Full Name]" |
| Married couple, one hyphenated last name | "Mr. [First Man's Full Name] and Mr. [Second Man's Full Name]- [Hyphenated Last Name]" |
| Unmarried couple living together | List friend first, then their partner on a separate line below |
| Single female | "Ms." if over 18, "Miss" if younger |
| Single male | "Mr." if over 18 |
| Single friend with a plus one | List friend first, then their guest's full name on the line below |
| Single friend with an unknown plus one | List friend's full name, followed by "and guest" |
| Married couple, one person is a doctor | "Dr. [Doctor's Full Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Spouse's Full Name]" |
| Married couple, both are doctors | "The Doctors [Surname]" or "Drs. [First Doctor's Name] and [Second Doctor's Name] [Surname]" |
| Couple with distinguished titles | List titles, i.e., "The Honorable", "Lieutenant", "Captain", "Esq.", etc. |
| Family with children under 18 | List parents' names, then children's names by seniority, omitting surnames |
| Family with children over 18 | Children over 18 receive separate invitations |
What You'll Learn
Married couples with the same last name
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and title. For heterosexual couples, use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first. An alternative format for the outer envelope is to write out both names and titles, for example, "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
The inner envelope is more informal. You can address the couple using their titles and last name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren". Alternatively, you can use their first names, such as "Thomas and Michelle".
It is important to note that some modern women may prefer to have their own name included rather than being addressed solely as "Mrs." and lumped in with their husband. In such cases, you can modify the formats provided above. For example, the outer envelope could be "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren", and the inner envelope could be "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
Additionally, when addressing a married couple with the same last name and children, you can include the children's names on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".
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Married couples with different last names
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to respect the identity and choices of the couple, especially if the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you address your invitations appropriately:
Outer Envelope Etiquette:
The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes and should include the full names and personal titles of the recipients. When addressing a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here are some examples:
- "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
- "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell"
Inner Envelope Etiquette:
The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the flexibility to use first names only or a combination of personal titles and last names. Here are some examples for the inner envelope:
- "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
- "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" or "Celine and Jacqueline"
Additional Considerations:
- If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, it is important to respect her choice and not assume she has taken her husband's last name. Avoid addressing them as "Mr. and Mrs. Husband's Full Name," as this erases her identity.
- When addressing a married couple, it is generally preferable to use personal titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.). However, if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive or exclusive for your guest list, you can opt for a more modern approach by using only first and last names.
- Always double-check the preferred personal titles and names of your guests before finalising your invitations.
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Single people
When addressing wedding invitations to single people, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and then his full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and then her full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.
If the single person you are inviting is a minor (under 18 years old), the prefix is optional for males, and the prefix "Miss" is used for females.
If you are inviting a single person who gets to bring a plus one, it is best to know the name of the person they will bring. If you do not know their name, simply include "and guest" or "& Guest" after the invitee's full name.
- Mr. George Constanza
- Ms. Elizabeth Lemon
- Miss Donna-Jo Tanner
- Mx. Courtney Andrews
If the person you are inviting is a widow, it is best to ask someone close to her if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows might also prefer to be addressed as "Ms."
For divorced women, you can use either "Mrs." or "Ms." and either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.
If the person you are inviting is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. For example, "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor."
If the person you are inviting is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name. For example, "Father Damien Karras."
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Unmarried couples
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the full, formal names of the guests. Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations. If the unmarried couple lives together, their names should be listed on the same line, with the person you are closest to, or the person whose name is first alphabetically, coming first. An example of this format is:
"Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller"
If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each guest.
For the outer envelope, follow the above guidelines. For the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names or just first names if you are close with the couple. An example of this format is:
"Ms. Green and Mr. Geller" or "Rachel and Ross"
It is also important to note that if you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch in the park, you may be able to use a less formal addressing style, such as leaving off titles or just using first names. However, if you are having a more formal wedding, it is best to err on the side of formality.
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People with distinguished titles
When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, military personnel, rabbis, or members of the clergy, it is proper etiquette to use their titles. Here are some examples to guide you:
Doctors
For a married couple where one partner is a doctor, list the doctor first, regardless of gender. You can choose to spell out "Doctor" or abbreviate it to "Dr." If the doctor is a woman who has taken her husband's surname or uses it socially, reflect that in the address.
Outer envelope:
- Dr. Michaela Quinn and Mr. Byron Sully
- Doctor Rainbow and Mr. Andre Johnson, Sr.
- Doctor and Mrs. Perry Cox
- Doctor Perry and Mrs. Jordan Cox
If both partners are doctors with the same last name, you can address them as "The Doctors" to be more formal. Traditionally, the woman's name comes first.
Outer envelope:
- The Doctors Smith
- Doctors Monica and Alan Quartermaine
- Drs. Monica and Alan Quartermaine
If both partners are doctors with different last names, traditionally, the woman's name comes first, or you could list their names alphabetically.
Outer envelope:
Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd
Military Personnel
If your guest is a military officer, ensure you know their correct title, rank, and service. This address applies to both active-duty and retired service officers. For a female officer, write her name first, followed by her husband or partner's name on the next line.
Outer envelope:
- Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly
- Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy
Lawyers
If your guest is a lawyer, use "Esq." after their name.
Outer envelope:
Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown
Judges
Use the term "The Honorable" before the full name of a judge. If the judge is married, include the spouse's title. If the judge is single, you can add "and guest" if applicable.
Outer envelope:
The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez
Clergy
Distinguish between the titles of the clergy and their spouse. For example, use "Rabbi and Mrs." or "Reverend and Mrs."
Outer envelope:
- Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass
- The Reverend Richard Glass and Mrs. Rosina Glass
Same-Gender Couples with Distinguished Titles
Order the names of same-gender couples with distinguished titles alphabetically by last name.
Outer envelope:
- Lieutenants Amy and Jake Peralta
- Captain Benjamin Pierce and Major Margaret Houlihan, US Army
Inner Envelopes
For inner envelopes, you can be less formal. Use titles and last names or first names only if you are very close to the guest.
Inner envelope:
- Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood
- The Doctors Underwood
- Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly
- The Captains Kelly
- Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez
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Frequently asked questions
For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
For a heterosexual couple, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first; if the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Spell out "doctor" on the outer envelope, and abbreviate it on the inner.
Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith"
Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina"
