Crafting A Classy Wedding Invite: Adults-Only Edition

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is one of the most difficult guest list questions. If you've decided your wedding will be adults-only, it's best to be clear and consistent about the parameters. This can be done in a tasteful way by including a little note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards. For example, Please note this will be an adults-only celebration or Adult (18 and older) reception to follow. You can also be subtle by using phrases like intimate ceremony or cocktail reception held at a luxury hotel, which suggests a child-free event.

Stating adults-only on the wedding invites

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is one of the most difficult guest list questions. Here are some tips and recommendations for making your guests clear on who’s invited, along with some suggestions on ways to word “adults only” on your wedding invites.

Including Guest Names

One way to clearly address your invitations is to use a name band. Name bands are paper wraps that are digitally printed with your guest names and wrapped around your invitation suite. They allow you to list the names of each invited guest, helping you to avoid any “plus ones” and specify whether children are invited.

‘Adults Only’ Wording

If name bands are outside your budget, you can include a note on your invitations, response cards, or information cards. Simple wording such as “Adults-only reception” or “Children over 16 years of age only” can be inserted at the bottom of the invitation or response card. If you have room, adding more detail on your information card can help to put your guests’ minds at ease.

• “Please join us for an adult reception at six o’clock.”
• “Please note this will be an adults-only celebration.”
• “Adult (18 and older) reception to follow.”
• “We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.”
• “Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony.”

The following are examples of longer wording suggestions that can be included on information cards. The longer explanations can soften the wording and help to clarify your preferences:

• “Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair.”
• “The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception.”
• “Due to limited venue space, adults only please.”
• “Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children.”
• “Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend.”
• “We wish we could include all children, but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family.”

Other Ways to Convey an Adults-Only Wedding

While it’s generally not recommended to explicitly state “adults only” on the invitation itself, you can subtly convey the message through your reception card. Phrases like “intimate ceremony” or “cocktail reception” held at a “luxury hotel” or “downtown nightclub” can suggest a child-free event, as these venues are typically not suitable for children.

To ensure your guests understand, it’s important to address your envelopes correctly. Only those listed on the inner envelope are invited to the wedding, making it clear from the outset who is included. For example:

Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan

Inner Envelope: Mike and Annie

Another way to address your wedding invitations carefully is to list only the names of the invited adult guests on both the outer and inner envelopes. You can also write the names of each invited guest on the response card.

Wedding Website

Most couples have wedding websites that contain comprehensive details for their upcoming wedding. On your site, be sure to include an FAQ page. Include the question "Can we bring kids?” and clearly state that, while you love all the children in your lives, you want your family and friends to be able to have a fantastic time without worrying about their kids. Consider including information for a local babysitting agency, especially if you have out-of-town guests with children.

Addressing the invites to specific adults

When addressing your wedding invites, it's important to be clear about who is invited. If you're inviting a family with children, you can specify the names of the adults on the outer envelope and the names of the children on the inner envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If you only want to invite the parents, you can simply address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". This will subtly indicate that only the adults are invited. You can also include a specific number of RSVPs and limit plus ones as another way to communicate that children are not invited.

If you're inviting a single person with a plus one, you can write their name on the outer envelope and include "and guest" on the inner envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Jessica Spano"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Spano and guest" or "Jessica and guest"

If you know the name of the plus one, you can include it on both envelopes, like this:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Jessica Spano and Mr. Albert Clifford Slater"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Spano and Mr. Slater" or "Jessica and A.C."

When addressing married couples, you can use their titles and spell out the husband's first and last name, with the wife's name listed after. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If the couple has the same last name, you can use the husband's full name followed by "and" and then the wife's full name. If they have different last names, write the wife's name first, followed by the husband's name. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you're inviting a married couple where one person has a hyphenated last name, include both names on the outer envelope, with the spouse's name first, followed by the hyphenated name. For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or just the spouse's name followed by the hyphenated name. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

For unmarried couples living at the same address, list both names on one line, with the person you are closest to first. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

When addressing a single female, use "Ms." if she is over 18 and "Miss" if she is under 18. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if under 18)

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" or just the first name

For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is under 18, no title is necessary. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or just the first name

Remember, it's important to be consistent with your wording and parameters when communicating your adults-only wedding to your guests.

Using name bands to list invited guests

If you're looking for a way to tastefully indicate that your wedding is adults-only, one option is to use name bands. These are paper wraps that are digitally printed with your guest names and wrapped around your invitation suite to keep everything together. They are a practical and beautiful way to address your invitations clearly and avoid any confusion about your guest list.

Name bands allow you the space to list the names of each invited guest, which can be particularly useful if you want to avoid any 'plus ones' and be specific about which children are invited. For example, if you only want to invite parents from a family, you can address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," rather than "The Chavez Family." This makes it clear that their children are not included in the invitation.

To create name bands, you can choose from a variety of designs, colours, and fonts to match your wedding theme and envelopes. You can digitally print guest names on the bands, along with fonts and colours that complement your invitations. Most name band shades can be printed in colour or white digital ink, although on lighter shades, white ink may be less legible.

When creating your name bands, it's important to consider the following:

• Provide a spreadsheet with all your guest names to the printer, and request additional blank name bands for any last-minute guest list additions.
• Choose a band width that suits your invitation size and orientation. Standard band widths are approximately 40mm.
• Select a band shade that complements your invitation suite. Popular options include white, soft white, stone, almond, sage, cement, hunter green, midnight blue, and black. You can also use translucent (vellum) paper for a more subtle look.
• Consider adding a ribbon or thread to secure the band and invitation together, creating a neat package.

By using name bands, you can elegantly and tastefully communicate your adults-only request while also adding a personal touch to your wedding invitations. This approach ensures your guests are clear about who is invited and allows you to set the tone for your special day.

• Be clear and consistent about the parameters: Decide on the age limit for "adults-only" and stick to it without making exceptions.
• Address invitations to specific individuals: Only include the names of invited guests on the envelope to avoid confusion.
• Include "adults-only" on the invitation or RSVP card: You can also add a count on the RSVP cards to specify the number of guests included in each invitation.
• Provide information on your wedding website: Create an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" clearly stating your adults-only preference.
• Inform your close family and wedding party: Ask them to help spread the word so they can answer questions from other guests.
• Be prepared for difficult conversations: If a guest RSVPs for their entire family, contact them directly to clarify that the invitation is only for the parents. You can cite venue restrictions, budget constraints, or adult-centric activities as reasons for your decision.

Remember, while some guests may find adults-only weddings rude or tacky, it is your special day, and you have the right to decide what's best for you and your spouse. By being thoughtful and using proper etiquette, you can communicate your adults-only preference effectively.

Including a note on response cards

Including a note on the response card is a great way to clarify that your wedding will be adults-only. This can be a simple statement such as:

> "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."

> "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."

> "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."

> "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."

> "Adults-only reception."

> "Children over 16 years of age only."

If you prefer a more detailed explanation, you could include a longer message such as:

> "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."

> "The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception."

> "Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony."

> "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."

> "Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints, we ask that only adults attend."

> "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception."

> "We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!"

If you are facing space or budget limitations, it is perfectly acceptable to mention this in your response card:

> "Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children."

> "Regrettably, our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel."

> "Unfortunately, due to space limitations, we are having an adults-only reception. If anyone needs help with childcare, please let us know, and we will do our best to assist."

Remember, it is essential to be clear and consistent in your messaging. If you have a wedding website, be sure to include this information there as well.

Adding a count on the RSVP cards

When it comes to wedding planning, deciding whether to invite children to the ceremony and reception is one of the most difficult guest list questions. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, it's important to communicate this to your guests clearly and considerately. Here are some tips and suggestions for adding a count on the RSVP cards:

Clearly Define "Adult"

Before adding a count on the RSVP cards, it's crucial to define what qualifies someone as an "adult." Will your wedding be adults-only for those over 18 or 21? Or will you base it on other criteria, such as being out of college or financially independent? Stick to your definition to avoid confusion and ensure consistency in your guest list.

Be Consistent

If you've decided to set an age limit for your wedding, be consistent in your application. Unless a guest is nursing an infant, it's best to draw a clear line and avoid making exceptions for specific individuals or groups. This will help prevent hurt feelings among guests who were not allowed to bring their children.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your wedding invitations, only include the names of the invited guests on the envelope. For example, address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This subtle cue will indicate that only the parents are invited, and their children are not included.

Add a Count on the RSVP Cards

To make it explicit that your wedding is adults-only, you can add a count on the RSVP cards. Below the line where guests write their names, include a line such as "___ of ___ guests" or "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour." Fill in the second blank with the number of guests included in the invitation to avoid any confusion. For example, if a couple has been invited, write "2 of 2 guests" or "We have reserved 2 seats in your honour."

Provide Additional Information

If you have the space, consider adding a bit more detail on an information card included with the invitation. This can help put your guests' minds at ease and show that you've thoughtfully considered their needs. For example, you could write, "Due to venue restrictions, we kindly request no children under 16 at the reception." If your wedding is out of town, offering information about babysitting options can also be helpful for your guests.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations

Despite your best efforts, you may still receive RSVPs from guests who assume their children are invited. In this case, it's important to be proactive and initiate a conversation as soon as possible. Let them know that the invitation is only for the parents and gently remind them of your adults-only policy. Be empathetic and understanding, as finding childcare can be challenging for some families.

Remember, the key to tastefully communicating an adults-only wedding is clarity, consistency, and consideration for your guests' needs. By adding a count on the RSVP cards, you can effectively convey your wishes and ensure that your special day goes smoothly for everyone involved.

Frequently asked questions