Wedding Gift List Etiquette For Evening Invites

Wedding invitation wording is a delicate matter. While it is considered bad etiquette to include registry wording on your wedding invitation, it is still a common query for couples. Traditionally, bridesmaids and family members would tell guests about wedding gift registries. Nowadays, wedding websites, word of mouth, and wedding shower invitations are the best ways to notify guests about registry information.

Some couples opt to include a separate gift card or a line or two on their information card. It is generally advised to avoid putting gift list details on evening invitations, but some people have done so without issue. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what they include in their invitations.

Including a gift list in an evening invitation: rude or acceptable?

Including a gift list in an evening invitation is a topic that has sparked debate. While some people may find it rude and greedy, others consider it practical and helpful. So, what's the verdict? Is it rude or acceptable to include a gift list in an evening invitation?

On one hand, some people argue that including a gift list in an evening invitation is inappropriate and greedy, especially since evening guests are not invited to the most important part of the day. They believe that it gives the impression that the couple is more interested in receiving gifts than celebrating with their guests. Additionally, it can be seen as presumptuous and entitled, assuming that guests will bring a gift even if they are not attending the full wedding.

On the other hand, others argue that including a gift list is helpful and practical. They believe that most wedding guests will want to bring a gift, and a gift list simply provides guidance on what the couple truly wants or needs. By including a gift list, couples can avoid receiving unnecessary or unwanted gifts and ensure that their guests' generosity is directed towards something meaningful to them.

So, what's the conclusion? The decision to include a gift list in an evening invitation ultimately comes down to personal preference and the couple's comfort level. While some may find it rude, others consider it helpful. A good middle ground could be to include a separate gift card or a line on an information card, as suggested by some wedding etiquette sources. This way, the couple can provide gift information without making it the main focus of the invitation.

Ultimately, the most important aspect of a wedding is celebrating the union of two people, and gifts should not be the primary focus. Couples should feel free to make the best decision for their situation, and guests should respect their wishes, whether a gift list is included or not.

What to include in your wedding invitation

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few key elements that you should include to ensure your guests have all the information they need. Here is a breakdown of what to include in your wedding invitation:

Host Line

The host line is where you indicate who is hosting the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's parents are listed as the hosts, but nowadays, there are several options to consider:

• One set of married parents hosting: "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams" (formal, including middle name) or "Christopher and Sarah Williams" (less formal).
• One set of divorced parents hosting: List the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line.
• Both sets of parents hosting: For different-sex couples, list the bride's parents first, followed by the groom's parents. For same-sex couples, list the names according to preference or design.
• Couple hosting with their families: "Together with their families" or "Together with our families".
• Couple hosting: Skip the host line or start with a warm introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy".

Request Line

This is where you extend the invitation to your guests. Here are some examples of wording for the request line:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (traditionally used for religious ceremonies)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (or variations) for non-religious ceremonies
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

Couple's Names

The couple's names should be included, with the bride's name typically coming first, followed by the groom's name. For same-sex couples, you can use alphabetical order or whatever sounds better. Formal invitations may use first and middle names only for the bride.

Date and Time

The date and time should be spelled out in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon". Avoid using abbreviations or numerals for a formal invitation.

Ceremony Venue

List the venue name and city on separate lines. The street address is usually omitted unless it is a private residence or there is a possibility of confusion.

Reception Information

If the reception is at the same location, you can simply state "Reception to follow". Otherwise, include the reception venue on a separate line or a reception card insert. If the reception is not immediately after the ceremony, include the time.

Dress Code

The dress code is typically included in the lower right corner of the invitation. If not specified, the formality of the invitation will indicate the expected attire.

RSVP Details

Most couples include a separate RSVP card for guests to fill out and return. Alternatively, you can direct guests to your wedding website for online RSVPs. Include the website address on a separate card.

Gift Registry Information

While it is considered bad etiquette to include gift registry details directly on the invitation, you can include this information on your wedding website or a separate gift card or information card. A simple phrase like "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all" can be followed by a mention of your gift preferences, such as "However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a list of gift suggestions has been registered with [store name]".

In conclusion, while there are traditional elements to include in a wedding invitation, feel free to personalise and adapt the wording to suit your style and tone.

Wording suggestions for wedding invitations

There are many differing opinions on whether or not to include gift list details on evening invitations. Some people consider it rude or greedy, especially if the guest is not invited to the whole day. Others think it is helpful to include the information, and some people have received evening invitations with and without gift lists and not been offended by either.

If you do decide to include gift list information, it is recommended that you do not include it on the invitation itself. Instead, you could include a separate gift card or a line or two on an information card. Here are some wording suggestions for wedding invitations:

• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a list [of gift suggestions] has been registered with..."
• "Your love, laughter and company on our wedding day is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided on the day."
• "We look forward to your presence on our special day. We do nonetheless realise that some of you may wish to give us a wedding gift to commemorate our union together. After having lived on our own, we have all of the household items we need. However, for those of you who would like to give us a gift, we will have a wishing well at our reception that will go towards our future together."
• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you would like to honour us with a gift, we have registered a list with [insert details]. Gift cards to [insert details] are also appreciated, as we are moving into a new home after the wedding."
• "We're thrilled that you're coming to celebrate with us—and that's the best gift of all! But, if you'd like to help us spruce up our place, you can find our registry at [insert details]."

How to communicate your wedding gift wishes

It is considered bad etiquette to include your wedding gift wishes on your wedding invitation. Instead, you can rely on your wedding party and family members to spread the word, or you can include this information on your wedding website or wedding shower invitation. Here are some tips on how to communicate your wedding gift wishes:

• Use your wedding website: Your wedding website is the perfect place to include your wedding gift registry information. You can include this information under the "Wedding Registry" or "Wedding Details" tab. Make sure to include a link to your registry and a short message about what you plan to use the gifts for.
• Spread the word through family and friends: Traditionally, bridesmaids and family members would inform guests about the couple's wedding gift registry. This is still a great option, especially if not all your guests are tech-savvy or comfortable using a wedding website.
• Include information on your wedding shower invitation: If you are having a wedding shower, it is appropriate and encouraged to include registry information on the invitations. Keep the message short and sweet, and include the store name, URL, and registry ID number if applicable.
• Provide a well-placed box at the reception: Let your guests know that you have provided a box at the reception where they can place their cards and gifts. This way, they don't have to worry about carrying their gifts around during the celebration.
• Be specific about your wishes: Whether you are asking for physical gifts or monetary contributions, be clear about what you plan to use the gifts for. For example, if you are saving up for a new house, home improvements, or your honeymoon, let your guests know so they can feel involved in helping you achieve your goals.
• Consider a separate gift card or information card: If you want to include gift information in your invitations, consider adding a separate gift card or including a gift message as part of your information card. This way, you can provide details about your wishes without cluttering your main invitation.
• Use word-of-mouth: If you don't want to include any written information about gifts, you can always spread the word through conversation. Designate this task to a relative or a member of the wedding party, who can inform guests about your wishes when they RSVP or arrive at the wedding.
• Be mindful of your guests: If your wedding location requires guests to travel and pay for accommodation, you may want to omit gift details from the invitation altogether. You can simply mention on your invitation that "your presence is present enough" to indicate that gifts are not expected.

What to do if you don't want any gifts at all

It is acceptable to request no gifts at your wedding, and there are several ways to communicate this to your guests. Here are some suggestions:

Wedding Invitations

Although it is generally considered a faux pas to include a "no gifts" message directly on your wedding invitations, you can include a separate insert card within your invitation suite. This card can politely inform your guests that their presence is present enough and that you kindly request no gifts. Here are some examples of wording for this:

• "We're excited for your presence, not presents. Please, no gifts."
• "Your presence is truly enough, no gifts please."
• "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough."
• "We suggest adding this message on an information card. This handy card can also include extra details about accommodations and even list your wedding website."

Wedding Website

Your wedding website is another effective way to communicate your wishes regarding gifts. Guests will naturally visit your website to find registry information, so you can simply include a note there stating that you are not accepting gifts. Here is an example:

"Please no gifts, we just want to celebrate with those we love most (that’s you)!"

Word of Mouth

Using word of mouth to spread the message is another option. You can mention your preference while socialising with your guests at your engagement party or in conversations with friends and family. You can also enlist your wedding party, such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other loved ones, to help spread the word.

Charitable Alternative

If you are open to charitable donations instead of gifts, you can include this information on your wedding website or in your invitation suite. You can provide personalised note cards at each table at the reception, explaining the charity's information and how to donate. This approach allows guests who strongly desire to give something to contribute to a meaningful cause.

Other Considerations

Even if you request no gifts, you may still receive some presents or cards from guests. It is essential to accept these graciously and send heartfelt thank-you notes after the wedding. Additionally, be prepared to provide guidance on gift-giving if guests inquire, as many will want to contribute something despite your request.

Frequently asked questions