Deborah Chan
Wedding invitations are important as they inform guests about the when and where of the celebration, and also set the tone for the event. It is therefore crucial to get the invitation right, including how you address your guests. There are a few simple guidelines to follow when addressing a wedding invitation, whether it's for a formal affair or a more casual backyard bash. Traditionally, the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope should be formal, with the recipient's full name and personal title. The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out elements of the formal name format.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Married couple, same last name | "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared surname] or "[husband's first name] and [wife's first name] [shared surname] |
| Married couple, different last names | " [wife's first and last name] and [husband's first and last name]" or " [husband's first and last name] and [wife's first and last name]" |
| Married couple, one hyphenated last name | " [first spouse's first and last name] and [second spouse's first name] [second spouse's hyphenated last name]" |
| Unmarried couple | " [person you're closest to's first and last name] and [other person's first and last name]" |
| Single female | "Ms. [first and last name]" if over 18; "Miss [first and last name] if under 18 |
| Single male | "Mr. [first and last name]" if over 18; no title necessary if under 18 |
| Single non-binary person | "Mx. [first and last name]" |
| Widowed woman | "Mrs. [married name]" or "Ms. [maiden name]" |
| Divorced woman | "Mrs. [married name]" or "Ms. [maiden name]" |
| Single guest with a plus one | " [invitee's first and last name] and guest" |
| Married couple, one person is a doctor | "Doctor [doctor's first and last name] and [other person's first and last name]" |
| Married couple, both are doctors | "The Doctors [shared surname]" or "Drs. [first doctor's first name and last name] and [second doctor's first name and last name]" |
| Couple with distinguished titles | "The [title] [first name] and [second person's first and last name]" or " [first person's first and last name] and [second person's first and last name]" |
| Family, including children | "The [surname] Family" or " [parents' first and last names] & children" |
What You'll Learn
Addressing a married couple with the same last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options you can consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles or prefixes. The outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and title. For a married couple with the same last name, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". If you would like to address both partners equally, you can use both the husband's and wife's first and last names, for instance, "Mr. John and Mrs. Linda Smith".
On the inner envelope, which is more informal, you have the option to be less formal. You can use titles and last names or just first names if you are very close with the couple. For a couple with the same last name, you could write "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or simply "John and Linda".
It is worth noting that some people may prefer to be addressed without titles, so it is always a good idea to double-check your guests' preferred titles or honourifics beforehand.
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Addressing a married couple with different last names
When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is important to remember a few key points to ensure your invitations are both correct and considerate.
Firstly, do not assume that the wife has changed her name. It is always best to ask the couple how they would like to be addressed, and people would always rather be asked than receive mail addressed incorrectly. If the wife has changed her name, it is still important to acknowledge her first name and use it when addressing the mail.
When addressing the envelope, write each name on a separate line. This is especially important when dealing with long last names, as putting both names on the same line can look sloppy. For example:
Mrs. Leslie Knope
Mr. Ben Wyatt
123 Sesame Street
Apartment 3B
New York, NY 10011
If you are unsure whether the wife has changed her name, it is better to address her as "Mrs." if she has not changed her name, it is likely she will not want to be called "Mrs.". Again, if you are unsure, ask her or her husband.
When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is also important to include a title (Mr., Mrs., Ms.) for each person. This is a respectful way to address adults and avoids any confusion or assumptions about their names or marital status.
Additionally, avoid using only the first name of one person on the same line as the other's full name. This can make it seem like one person is an afterthought and is not considered best practice.
Finally, when addressing a married couple with different last names, do not use one person's last name in a "family-style" format. For example, avoid addressing them as "The Smith Family" if one partner's last name is Smith and the other partner has a different last name. People with different last names typically prefer to be addressed by their own names.
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Addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple where one partner has a hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The format you choose may depend on the couple's preferences, how well you know them, and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some options for addressing a married couple with one hyphenated last name:
Outer envelope (formal):
- Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones
- Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones
Inner envelope (informal):
- Michael and Mary
- Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones
If the wife who has the hyphenated last name prefers to be addressed as "Mrs.", you can use that title instead of "Ms.". However, "Ms." is generally considered more appropriate when a woman has a hyphenated last name, as "Mrs." traditionally indicates that she has taken her husband's surname.
If you are close to the couple and know their preferences, you can also consider addressing them by their first names, especially on the inner envelope:
- Mary and Michael
- Mary Smith-Jones and Michael Jones
If you are inviting the couple's children as well, you can include their names on a separate line, with boys under 16 remaining untitled and girls under 18 addressed as "Miss":
- Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones
- Billy and Greta
Remember to use the names they prefer to be called and consider including their middle names if that is what they usually go by.
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Addressing an unmarried couple
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few guidelines to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the full, formal names of the guests, avoiding nicknames or abbreviations. This includes writing out titles and honours in full, such as "Doctor" or "The Honourable".
For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names should be included on the envelope, either on the same line or with each name on a separate line. If the couple has different last names, list the person you are closest to first, or go in alphabetical order. Here is an example of how to format the outer and inner envelopes:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"
If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each guest.
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Addressing a single person
When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and then his full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and then her full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.
If the guest is a widow, it is best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. It is common to address the envelope with her married name. For example:
> Mrs. Olivia Yarrow
A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she goes by her maiden name or married name. For example:
> Married name: Mrs. Kristina Vasquez
>
> Maiden name: Ms. Kristina Torres
If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. For example:
> The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor
If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name. For example:
> Father Damien Karras
If the guest is under 18, the prefix "Miss" is more acceptable for females, and no title is necessary for males. For example:
> Miss Donna-Jo Tanner
>
> Mr. George Costanza
If the single person has a plus-one, it is best to know the name of the person they will bring. If not, simply include "and guest" or "& Guest" after the invitee's full name. For example:
> Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest
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Frequently asked questions
For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
For a heterosexual couple, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Spell out "doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope.
Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith"
Inner envelope: "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina"
