Placing Wedding Invites: Enveloping Etiquette And Style

Wedding invitations are a big deal. They set the tone for your big day and give your guests all the information they need to prepare. But how do you place wedding invites in an envelope?

The process is quite simple. First, you need to gather all the components of your wedding invitation suite, which typically includes the invitation card, an RSVP card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope, and any additional details cards, such as reception, direction, or accommodation cards. You may also include adornments like belly bands, vellum or tissue paper overlays, ribbons, and wax seals.

Once you have all the pieces, you can start assembling your invitation stacks. Begin by placing the invitation card face up, followed by any tissue paper or vellum overlay, and then the reception card (if applicable). Next, add any remaining enclosure cards, such as direction or accommodation cards, and finally, place the RSVP card and envelope on top, with the envelope flap on the left.

Now that your invitation suite is assembled, you can stuff them into your envelopes. If you're using an inner envelope and an outer envelope, insert the invitation suite into the inner envelope first, with the left edge going in first for a single-card invitation or the folded edge first for a folded invitation. Then, place the inner envelope into the outer envelope, ensuring the guests' names are visible when they open it. If you're only using an outer envelope, simply insert the fully assembled invitation suite into the envelope following the same guidelines.

Order of cards in the envelope

The order of cards in the envelope is important to ensure that your wedding invitation looks neat and is easy to read. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to stack your wedding invitation suite:

Step 1: Start with the Main Invitation Card

The invitation card is the largest card in the suite and serves as the foundation for the rest of the cards. Place the invitation card at the bottom of the stack, with the printed side facing up. This card includes the essential details of the wedding, such as the who, what, when, and where.

Step 2: Add Vellum Liners (Optional)

If your invitation suite includes a thin sheet of vellum, you can choose to include it or leave it out. Traditionally, vellum was used to prevent ink smudges. If you decide to use it, place the vellum on top of the invitation card.

Step 3: Stack the Reception Card

If you are providing separate information about the reception, place the reception card face up on top of the wedding invitation. The reception card includes details such as the time and location of the reception and generally includes important information such as the requested dress code.

Step 4: Include Other Enclosure Cards

Place any additional enclosure cards, such as direction or detail cards, map cards, or hotel accommodation cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards of different sizes, start with the largest card first.

Step 5: Add the RSVP Card and Envelope

Place the RSVP envelope, printed side down, on top of the stack of enclosure cards. Insert the RSVP card under the envelope flap, with the printed side facing up. Pre-address and pre-stamp the RSVP envelope to make it convenient for your guests to respond.

Optional Step: Inner Envelope

If you are using an inner envelope and an outer envelope, insert the fully assembled invitation suite into the inner envelope first. The inner envelope should be left unsealed and closed. When inserting the invitation suite, ensure that the left edge goes in first for a single-card invitation, and the folded edge goes in first for a folded invitation. The printed side should be facing up so that it is visible when the envelope flap is opened.

Final Step: Outer Envelope

Finally, insert the fully assembled invitation suite into the outer envelope. Again, the left edge goes in first for a single card, and the folded edge goes in first for a folded invitation. The printed side should be facing up and visible when the envelope is opened.

How to address the envelope

When addressing the envelope for your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is essential to use full names and spell out addresses completely, without abbreviations. The return address is usually printed on the back flap of the envelope, using the host's address. The guests' addresses are written by hand or printed on the front of the envelope.

There are a few traditional ways to address married couples. For couples with the same last name, the formal way is to include the male's first and last name, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Arendt". A more modern approach is to list both first names and the joint last name, for example, "Jane and John Smith". For couples with different last names, list each person's full name with "and" between them, like "Jane Smith and John Doe". Same-sex couples with different last names can be addressed similarly, with the option to add prefixes such as "Mr." or "Ms." Same-sex couples with the same last name can be addressed by listing both first and last names in alphabetical order, followed by "and".

If you are inviting a family, you can address the envelope to "The [Last Name] Family". If you are using an inner envelope, you can list the names of the parents with the children's names below. For a less formal approach, you can use nicknames or terms of endearment on the inner envelope.

When inviting a single friend with a guest, it is best to learn the guest's name and include it on the outer or inner envelope. If you are using an inner envelope, write "and Guest" or "& Guest" on it.

For doctors, the invitation can be addressed as "Dr. and Mrs. [Name]" for a married male doctor or "Dr. [Name] and Mr. [Partner's Name]" for a married female doctor. If both spouses are doctors with the same last name, the envelope can be addressed to "The Doctors [Last Name]".

Remember that you have the flexibility to choose a formal or informal approach based on your preference and relationship with the invitees.

Sealing the envelope

• Use a bottled envelope moistener to wet the gummed edge of the envelope. Be careful not to use too much moisture, as you don't want the envelopes to become soggy and puckered.
• After sealing all the envelopes, place a heavy book or two on top of the stack to ensure they are securely sealed.
• If using a wax seal, add it after securing the envelope. A wax seal is a great way to personalise your invitations, especially if you opt for a design with your monogram.
• If you have chosen to use an inner envelope and outer envelope, the inner envelope should be left unsealed but closed. The fully assembled invitation suite is then inserted into the outer envelope.
• When inserting the invitation suite, ensure that the left edge goes in first for a single-card invitation, and the folded edge first for a folded invitation.
• The invitation should be face up, with the text facing the envelope flap. This ensures that guests can immediately read the invitation when they open the envelope.

Return address

The return address is an essential part of your wedding invitation suite. It allows guests to RSVP to your celebration and provides a location for where gifts should be mailed. It also ensures that any undelivered invitations can be returned to the sender.

The preferred location for a return address is on the back flap of the envelope. This makes it easily visible and accessible for the recipient and postal service, while maintaining a clean and uncluttered look on the front of the envelope. If you are using double envelopes (inner and outer), the return address only needs to go on the outermost envelope.

When formatting your return address, consider the overall design and formality of your invitation when choosing the font, size, and style. It is recommended to use handwritten calligraphy or a printer that mimics calligraphy fonts. If this is not possible, clear and legible handwriting or printed labels are also acceptable.

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Winter Park, Florida 10001

When writing out the return address, use proper spacing and alignment for a clean and organised look. Each line should be aligned with the left margin, and avoid using abbreviations.

Choosing a Return Address

Traditionally, the return address on wedding invitations includes the names of the hosts or the individuals sending the invitations. For example, if the parents of the bride are hosting, their names and address would be included. If the couple is hosting their own wedding, their names and address can be used.

Other options include using first names only (e.g. Alex and John), first and last names (Alex Jones and John Smith), last names plus wedding (Jones and Smith Wedding), or no names at all, just the address. If you use last names, avoid combining them (e.g. Alex and John Smith) as you are not married yet.

There are several options for including your return address on the envelope:

• Return address labels: Printed labels that can be stuck on the envelope. These are affordable and simple but may look inconsistent with the guest address.
• Pre-printed return address on the envelope: When ordering envelopes online, you can often have your return address pre-printed for a small fee. This saves time but may incur extra costs and lead time for printing.
• Return address stamp: Similar to labels, you can order a custom stamp with your return address. This option provides a cohesive style with the guest address.
• Calligraphy return address: Having a calligrapher write your return address ensures a perfect match in writing style and ink colour but is the most expensive option.

No matter which option you choose, remember to include the return address on both the invitation envelope and the RSVP envelope.

Mailing the invites

Step 1: Assemble the invitation suite

Before mailing, ensure that you have assembled the invitation suite correctly. The general order is as follows:

• Start with the invitation card, which is usually the largest card, placed face up.
• Add a tissue paper or vellum overlay (optional). Traditionally, this was used to prevent smudging, but it's less common nowadays.
• Place the reception card (if separate) face-up on top of the invitation.
• Add any other enclosure cards (e.g., map, accommodations, travel info) face-up on top of the reception card. If there are multiple enclosure cards, order them from largest to smallest.
• Include the RSVP card and envelope. Place the RSVP envelope face-down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left, and insert the reply card under the flap, face-up. Remember to pre-address and stamp the RSVP envelope.

Step 2: Insert into envelopes

If you're using an inner envelope and an outer envelope:

• Insert the assembled invitation suite into the inner envelope (left edge first for a single card, folded edge first for a folded invite). The printed side of the invitation should be visible when the envelope flap is opened.
• Insert the inner envelope into the outer envelope so that the guests' names on the inner envelope are visible.

If you're using just an outer envelope:

Insert the assembled invitation suite into the outer envelope (left edge first for a single card, folded edge first for a folded invite). The printed side of the invitation should be visible when the envelope flap is opened.

Step 3: Seal and address the envelopes

• Seal the envelopes using a bottled envelope moistener or adhesive strips (if provided).
• Add return address labels or use a rubber stamp to apply the return address.

Step 4: Weigh and apply postage

• Take a fully assembled invitation suite to the post office to get it weighed. This will ensure you apply the correct amount of postage.
• Apply the appropriate number of stamps to each envelope.

Step 5: Mail the invitations

• When mailing, request that the stamps be hand-cancelled instead of machine-cancelled to avoid tacky, wavy lines on your envelopes.
• Hand-cancelling is especially important if you've placed the return address on the back of the envelope, as it helps the post office identify the front of the envelope.

Frequently asked questions