Wedding Invitation Etiquette: To Title Or Not To Title?

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business, and whether or not to include titles is a common dilemma. The traditional approach is to use titles, with Mr. and Mrs. preceding the man's full name. However, modern couples are increasingly choosing to forgo titles, especially for less formal weddings. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and the level of formality you want to convey.

Titles for unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is essential to include both guests' full names on the invitation, even if you have never met the other partner. It is considered rude to address someone as a "plus one" or "and guest" if they are in a serious relationship. Therefore, it is best to put in the effort to learn the other person's name by asking around or checking social media.

Secondly, the format for writing the names of an unmarried couple differs from that of a married couple. For unmarried couples living together, both names should be included on the same line, with the person you are closest to or the person whose name is first alphabetically listed first. Here is an example:

"Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send separate invitations to each person. However, if you choose to send only one invitation to the primary guest, be sure to include the other person's name on the inner envelope.

Finally, when it comes to titles, it is best to use "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women. However, if you feel that titles may be restrictive, you can choose to forgo them altogether and use only first and last names. It is also important to consider gender-neutral options, such as "Mx." for non-binary guests. Always remember to double-check your guests' preferred titles before finalising the invitations.

Titles for single people

When addressing wedding invitations to single people, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title. If you are unsure, it is best to leave out the title completely rather than assuming. The outer envelope can be addressed with the person's title and full name, for example, "Ms. Ali Johnson". The inner envelope can then be more informal, either using their title and last name or just their first name, for example, "Ms. Johnson" or "Ali".

If the single person is bringing a plus-one, you do not need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, use "and Guest" on the inner envelope. For example, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. James Montgomery", and the inner envelope can be addressed to "Mr. Montgomery and Guest" or "James and Guest".

It is also worth noting that the use of certain titles may vary depending on the age of the single person. For example, for girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish, whereas boys do not need a title until they are 16.

Titles for families with children

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few different options to consider. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you navigate this process:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is typically reserved for the names of the parents or guardians. Here are some examples:

• "The Thompson Family"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
• "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

If you're inviting a family with children under the age of 18, their names are not usually included on the outer envelope. Instead, they are listed on the inner envelope.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is where you can list the names of the children, along with their appropriate titles. Here are some guidelines:

• For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" followed by their name, for example, "Miss Jennifer".
• Boys under 18 do not need a title and can be addressed by their name only.
• If any children are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitation. However, if they still live at home with their parents, you can follow the family format.

Here's an example of how to address the inner envelope:

"Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

Additional Considerations:

• If you don't include the names of children on the inner envelope, it may imply that children are not invited.
• It's important to double-check with your guests regarding their preferred titles, especially if they have non-binary guests.
• You can also address the family with children as "Mr. & Mrs. X" with the children's names listed underneath.

Titles for people with distinguished titles

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, it's essential to follow the proper etiquette, especially when inviting guests with distinguished titles. Here are some guidelines for addressing people with distinguished titles on your wedding invitations:

Doctors

For a married couple where one person is a doctor, you can address them as "Doctor [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Ms. [Name]" on the outer envelope. If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially, you can write "Dr. [Names] and Mr./Mrs. [Surname]." On the inner envelope, you can use "Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Surname]" or simply use their first names. If both partners are doctors, address them as "The Doctors [Surname]" on the outer envelope and "The Doctors [Names]" on the inner envelope.

Military Personnel

When inviting military personnel, ensure you know their correct title and rank. For a couple where one is a military officer, address them as "Lieutenant [Name], [Military Branch] and Mr./Mrs./Ms. [Name]" on the outer envelope. If both partners hold military titles, use "Captains [Names], [Military Branch]." On the inner envelope, write "Lieutenant [Name], [Military Branch] and Mr./Mrs. [Name]" or "The Captains [Names]."

Lawyers

To invite a couple where one is a lawyer, use "Mr./Mrs./Ms. [Name], Esq. and Mr./Mrs./Ms. [Name]" on the outer envelope. If both partners are attorneys, address them as "Mr./Mrs. [Name], Esq. and Mr./Mrs. [Name]." On the inner envelope, their names can be shortened to "Mr. and Mrs. [Surname]."

Judges

When inviting a judge, use their formal title, "The Honorable [Name]" on the outer envelope, followed by their spouse's title and name. On the inner envelope, write "Judge [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Mx. [Name]."

Remember, it's essential to use the correct titles and follow the appropriate format for outer and inner envelopes to ensure your guests feel respected and welcomed on your special day.

Titles for older guests

When it comes to addressing older guests, it's important to strike a balance between formality and modernity. While older guests may prefer more traditional titles, it's also essential to respect individual preferences and avoid assumptions about their desired titles. Here are some guidelines for addressing wedding invitations to older guests:

• Use Formal Titles: For older guests, it is generally appropriate to use formal titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", or "Miss". These titles are considered respectful and are often expected by older individuals.
• Consider Marital Status: The choice of title can depend on the marital status of the guest. For married couples, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". However, many modern women prefer to have their names included, so using "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]" or listing the wife's name first can be more inclusive.
• Addressing by Name: When addressing older guests by name, it is customary to use their full, formal names. For example, address your "Uncle Steve" as "Mr. Steven [Middle Name] [Last Name]". This adds a touch of formality and respect to the invitation.
• Professional Titles: If your older guests have professional titles such as "Doctor", "Judge", "Reverend", or military ranks, it is proper etiquette to include these titles on the invitation. For example, "Dr. [Name]" or "Lieutenant [Name], [Military Branch]".
• Inner Envelope Informality: While the outer envelope should be formal, the inner envelope allows for more flexibility. You can choose to include or omit titles on the inner envelope, depending on your preference and the level of formality you wish to maintain.
• Respect Individual Preferences: Always prioritise the preferences of your guests. If you are unsure about their preferred titles, it is best to ask them directly or use their names without titles to avoid assumptions. Some women may prefer "Ms." over "Miss" or "Mrs.", and some individuals may have earned professional titles they wish to be recognised by.
• Consistency and Clarity: Aim for consistency in the use of titles across all invitations, especially for older guests. Ensure that the names and titles are clearly written and easy to read to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.
• Cultural and Regional Variations: Be mindful of cultural and regional variations in titles and naming conventions. What may be appropriate in one region or culture may not be suitable in another. It is essential to respect and adhere to the preferences and norms of your guests' backgrounds.
• Formality of the Wedding: Consider the formality of your wedding. If your wedding is more casual, you may have more flexibility in the use of titles. However, for extremely formal weddings, adhering to traditional title conventions is often expected.
• Provide Clear Information: While titles are important, ensure that the essential information, such as the names of the couple, date, time, and location of the wedding, are clearly communicated on the invitation. This information takes precedence over the use of titles.

Frequently asked questions