Deborah Chan
Being chosen as the best man for a friend or relative's wedding is a huge honour. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is expected to be his go-to confidante and support throughout the engagement and wedding planning process.
The role comes with a lot of responsibility, from planning the bachelor party and giving a speech to ensuring the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be when they need to be. The best man is also in charge of the wedding rings and may be asked to sign the marriage license as a witness.
The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative, such as a brother. However, there are no restrictions, and the role can be given to anyone the groom chooses.
What You'll Learn
Organise the stag do
Organising the stag do is one of the best man's most important duties. Here are some tips on how to do it:
Firstly, start planning early. The earlier you start, the less stressful the process will be, and the better the stag do will be. Ask the groom for a list of people he wants to invite and get a date in the diary as soon as possible. It's also a good idea to set up a group chat with everyone to make communication easy.
When it comes to choosing a location, consider everyone's budget. While a big blowout in Vegas might sound fun, if only a few people can afford to go, it's better to opt for a location closer to home so that everyone can attend. Try to organise the stag do to take place one to three months before the wedding, giving everyone time to recover.
Think of ways to personalise the stag do and make it memorable. You can also plan funny pranks to play on the groom, but remember to keep things safe and legal!
If you're planning a destination stag do, remember to book flights and accommodation in advance to get the best deals.
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Give a best man's speech
So, you've been chosen as best man! Congratulations! Now, it's time to get to work. Here's a comprehensive guide to nailing the role and giving a great best man's speech.
Before the Wedding
Firstly, you'll need to help choose the suits. This is a key duty, as you'll be responsible for securing the rental store and providing all the details to the groomsmen. You'll also need to assist the groom in rounding up the ushers and other important members of the wedding party for fittings.
Next, you'll be in charge of planning the bachelor/stag party. Work with the groomsmen to spread the word and ensure everyone has a great time. You should also decide on the location and guest list, in consultation with the groom.
In the lead-up to the wedding, be a supportive friend to the groom. Offer to help with any planning or administrative tasks, and be a sounding board for any nerves or anxiety he may be feeling.
On the Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, your main priority is to keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule. This includes helping the groom get ready and ensuring everyone arrives at the venue on time.
You'll also be responsible for holding the wedding rings, and possibly the groom's personal items like his phone and wallet.
During the ceremony, you'll stand next to the groom, and after it, you may be asked to escort the maid of honour out of the room.
The Best Man's Speech
Now, for the big moment: the best man's speech. This is often considered the most important part of the night for the best man, so it should be well-crafted and practised.
Start preparing your speech months in advance to avoid last-minute stress. Think about including some cheeky stories, but be mindful of the audience and run your speech by a trusted person to ensure it's appropriate.
Traditionally, the best man's speech comes last, after the father of the bride and the groom.
After the Wedding
Even after the wedding is over, your duties aren't quite done. You may be asked to help with returning hired items, taking care of wedding gifts, and decorating the getaway car.
So, there you have it! A comprehensive guide to being a fantastic best man and giving a memorable speech. Remember to stay organised, supportive, and upbeat throughout the entire process. Good luck!
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Help choose suits
As the best man, one of your main duties will be to help the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire. Here are some tips to help you with this task:
Communicate with the Couple
Before you start shopping, discuss ideas with the couple about the style and colour of the suits. It is also important to decide whether the suits will be bought or hired, and whether financial contributions are required. Communicate this information to the groomsmen so that everyone is aware before trying anything on.
Offer Your Opinion
When the groom asks for your opinion, be honest and speak your mind. It is important that both you and the groom look your best on the wedding day, so don't be afraid to give your input when choosing the suits.
Help with Sizing
If the groomsmen are spread across the country, ask them for their measurements to ensure that the suits fit everyone perfectly.
Keep Track of Alterations
Don't forget about alterations! Ensure that the groomsmen's suits are not only received but also tailored to their individual needs.
Create a Timeline
Work with the groom to create a timeline for choosing the suits. This will ensure that everyone has their attire in a timely manner and that any necessary alterations can be made before the wedding day.
Return Hired Attire
If the suits were hired, make sure to return them promptly after the wedding to avoid any late return fees.
Stay Organised
Organisation is key when it comes to choosing the suits. Keep track of measurements, orders, and alterations to ensure that everything runs smoothly.
Remember, your role as the best man is to support the groom and take some of the wedding planning stress off their shoulders. By following these tips, you can help ensure that the groom and groomsmen look their best on the big day!
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Be the groom's emotional rock
Being the groom's emotional rock is one of the most important duties of a best man. Here are some ways to fulfil this role:
Before the Wedding
It's important to check in with the groom and provide emotional support throughout the wedding planning process. Be a supportive friend and a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he may be feeling. Offer to help with any tasks, such as contacting suppliers or finding wedding transport. Listen patiently to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment and reassure him that everything will be okay.
During the Wedding
On the wedding day, the best man should continue to be a source of calm and positive energy for the groom. Help the groom get ready in the morning and keep him on schedule to ensure he arrives at the venue on time. Throughout the day, be the groom's personal aide and adviser, making sure he eats, drinks, and stays hydrated. Calm any pre-wedding jitters and deliver a letter to his future spouse if needed.
After the Wedding
If the couple is leaving for their honeymoon right away, the best man may be asked to take care of the groom's clothing and ensure any rented items are returned on time.
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Hold the wedding rings
Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:
Before the Wedding
It is a good idea to create a best man emergency kit for the wedding day. This kit can include essential toiletries, such as spray deodorant, bandages, tissues, and pain relievers, as well as a stain remover, sewing kit, and an extra pair of socks and a tie. This will ensure that you are prepared for any last-minute mishaps. Additionally, be sure to memorise some how-to-tie-a-tie YouTube videos, as you may need to assist the groomsmen with their ties on the morning of the wedding.
During the Wedding
If there is no ring bearer, the best man is typically responsible for holding the wedding bands until the ring exchange during the ceremony. Keep the rings in a safe place, such as your inner jacket pocket, and triple-check that your pocket doesn't have any holes! Be aware of where the rings are at all times and ensure they are easily accessible when the officiant requests them. If there is a ring bearer, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow as they line up for the processional and will receive the rings back from the ring bearer for safekeeping until the exchange.
After the Wedding
Once the couple has exchanged their rings, the best man may be asked to ensure the wedding rings are safely stored or returned to the couple. This is especially important if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon immediately after the wedding.
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Frequently asked questions
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for planning the stag do, writing a brilliant best man's speech, assisting with suit choices, helping the groom get ready for the ceremony, looking after the wedding rings, greeting the wedding guests, and dancing with the maid of honour.
On the day of the wedding, the best man should help the groom get ready, ensure the groomsmen are wearing their boutonnieres, try to keep things on schedule, hold the wedding rings, stand next to the groom during the ceremony, and deliver the officiant's payment after the ceremony.
After the wedding, the best man may be asked to help with returning hired items, such as suits, and safely storing wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately.
