The Best Man's Guide To A Perfect Wedding

Being a best man at a wedding is a pivotal role, and it comes with a lot of responsibility and honour. The best man is the principal groomsman and is usually a close friend or family member of the groom. The role involves a range of duties, from organising the stag party and bachelor party to being the groom's emotional support. On the wedding day, the best man ensures the groom and groomsmen are on schedule, holds the wedding rings, and acts as an official witness to the marriage. The best man also traditionally gives a speech and a toast during the reception.

Planning the bachelor party

Planning

First, check in with the groom to see if there is anything specific he would like to do for his bachelor party. It is important to host an event that aligns with his wishes. Next, you should consult the other groomsmen to see what they can afford and what dates they are available. Picking two or three dates and seeing which one works for the majority of the group is a good way to organise a large group of people.

Budgeting

When planning the bachelor party, it is important to consider everyone's budget. A big blowout in an exotic location might sound appealing, but if only a few people can afford to go, it might be better to plan something closer to home. It is also important to give the group a rough idea of the cost per person in advance so that they can make arrangements.

Locations

Bachelor parties can take the form of a night out, a weekend away, or even a week-long vacation. For a weekend away, it is often better to rent a house than book hotel rooms. That way, you can buy groceries and drinks, and save money by not eating out for every meal. It is also a great way to bond and socialise.

Activities

Bachelor parties don't have to involve drinking copious amounts of alcohol. You can plan two to three group outings, such as chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, or going bowling. It is also a good idea to leave some downtime in the schedule so that the weekend doesn't feel like a to-do list.

Invites

Traditionally, the guest list for a bachelor party includes the groomsmen and the groom's close male friends and family members. However, whoever is planning the party should clear the guest list with the groom and ensure that everyone who attends the party is also invited to the wedding. Paper invitations are not necessary; you can spread the word via a group chat.

Paying

Usually, all attendees pay their way for food, lodging, and activities. The planner should give everyone an estimate of the costs in advance. Sometimes, the parents of the groom will contribute to the costs.

Gifts

Gifts are not required, but some attendees might bring small tokens such as alcohol, cigars, sports equipment, or party games. Alternatively, the group might cover the groom's costs for one of the events, such as a meal or a round of drinks.

Strippers

Contrary to media references, not all bachelor parties include strippers. If you are unsure whether adult entertainment is expected, consult the groom and the other guests.

Holding the rings

• Keep the rings in a ring box: This will prevent them from getting lost or damaged. The box can be kept in the best man's pocket until it is time to exchange the rings.
• Put the rings on your finger: As suggested by a Reddit user, the best man can put the ring on their little finger so it can be easily and discreetly removed when the time comes.
• Have a backup plan: In case the best man loses or forgets the rings, it is a good idea to have a backup. The maid of honour can hold one of the rings, or both rings can be given to the officiant before the ceremony.
• Seat the ring holder in the front row: If someone else is holding the rings, such as a parent or sibling, seat them in the front row so the rings can be easily accessed when needed.
• Use a ring bearer: If there is a child in the couple's life that they want to include in the ceremony, they can appoint them as the ring bearer. The ring bearer will usually walk down the aisle with the rings and hand them to the best man when they reach the altar.

Ultimately, the couple can decide who they want to hold the rings. While the best man traditionally holds the rings, it is not uncommon for the groom to hold them or for the best man and maid of honour to each hold one ring.

Giving a speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of the role. It's a good idea to get a professional to help with the speech. They can help you put your thoughts in order and stop you from telling bad jokes. Here are some tips for giving a great best man's speech:

Structure

Start by introducing yourself and sharing a positive story about the groom. Then, say something about how you can't imagine a better guy, and then how he met his partner and say something nice about them. Tell him he's a lucky guy and ask everyone to raise their glasses. Keep it short and light-hearted.

Content

Keep it "Fun for the whole family". You can tell a borderline naughty joke, but remember that kids might be in the audience. Try to tell a feel-good story about the groom or the couple. If you can, make fun of the groom in a light-hearted way. You can also talk about all the fun times you've had with the groom, and even mention an embarrassing moment.

Delivery

Speak slowly and pause for laughter. Make sure you mention everyone who needs to be mentioned. If you're nervous, remember that you automatically have a sympathetic audience. If you're awkward, that's okay! People will overlook it.

Choosing the groom's attire

• Get professionally measured by a tailor to ensure the suit fits perfectly.
• Decide whether to buy or rent a suit or tuxedo based on budget, style preference, desired wearability, and the level of formality at the wedding.
• Consider the styling details that will complement the groom's body type and the wedding theme.
• Choose a suit or tuxedo that makes the groom feel comfortable and fits within the wedding budget.
• For a formal event, the groom should wear a tuxedo. For a less formal event, a suit is more appropriate.
• If the wedding has a specific theme or colour palette, coordinate the groom's attire accordingly.
• Consider the weather and choose breathable fabrics for summer weddings or thicker fabrics for winter weddings.
• Opt for a classic or modern fit suit, depending on the groom's preference.
• Accessorise the suit with items such as a belt, suspenders, cufflinks, a tie, or a pocket square.
• Choose the right trouser length for the groom's height.
• Ensure the suit is properly tailored, steamed, or pressed before the wedding.

Supporting the groom

Pre-Wedding

The best man is often the groom's closest friend or family member, so it's important for the best man to provide emotional support to the groom throughout the wedding planning process. This involves listening to the groom's concerns and reassuring him that everything will be okay. The best man can also help the groom with planning admin, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.

Wedding Attire

The best man is typically in charge of supporting the groom with all wedding attire needs, including helping the groom, groomsmen, and other important family members with their final suit selections. The best man may also need to discuss with the couple whether the suits will be bought or hired, and whether financial contributions are required from the wedding party.

Bachelor Party

Planning the bachelor party is one of the best man's most well-known duties. The best man should consult with the groom to plan an event that aligns with his wishes, including the guest list, budget, activities, and dates. The best man may also be in charge of booking any necessary flights or accommodation.

Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the best man should help the groom get ready and ensure he arrives at the venue on time. The best man may also be asked to hold the wedding rings, as well as the groom's personal items such as his phone or wallet. The best man should also greet guests with the groom and stand with him at the altar during the ceremony.

Speech

The best man's speech is a key part of the wedding reception. The best man should prepare a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story, and practice beforehand to ensure a confident delivery. It's also a good idea to run the speech past a trusted person to check that it's appropriate for the audience.

Frequently asked questions