Crafting A Memorable Best Man Speech: Secrets To Success

Being asked to be someone's best man is a tough honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties of a best man is to give a speech, and there are several things to keep in mind when preparing for this task. Firstly, it's crucial to prepare in advance and jot down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes. Secondly, it's important to stay sober so that you don't end up rambling or sharing inappropriate stories. Thirdly, the speech should be structured with a good opening line, gratitude towards the couple and their parents, a special mention for the new spouse, personal stories, and a positive ending with a quote and a toast. Keep the speech short, avoid inside jokes and controversial topics, and remember to be yourself.

Prepare in advance

Giving a best man's speech can be daunting, but preparing in advance will help you deliver a speech that's memorable for all the right reasons. Here are some tips for making sure you're ready for the big day:

Start Early

The earlier you start preparing, the better. Wedding writer and author Dominic Bliss recommends starting to write your speech at least two months before the wedding. This will give you plenty of time to brainstorm ideas, stories, jokes, and quotes, and make any necessary changes. It will also ensure you're fully present at other wedding festivities in the lead-up to the event.

Practice

Even if you think you've got your speech memorized, it's always a good idea to practice delivering it out loud. You'd be surprised at how different it might sound, and practicing will help you refine your delivery. Try practicing in front of a mirror, or record yourself to get a sense of how your speech is coming across. If you're comfortable, you can also practice in front of a small audience, like a close friend, to get some feedback.

Know Your Audience

Remember that your audience will include guests from different generations and cultures, like the couple's grandparents, boss, and colleagues. Keep your speech PG and avoid controversial topics such as sex, drinking, drugs, gambling, and religion. Steer clear of inside jokes that only a few guests will understand, and be mindful of any stories or jokes that might embarrass the couple or their families.

Have a Clear Structure

Start your speech by introducing yourself and explaining your connection to the couple. Include a killer opening line, such as a joke or a quote, to hook your audience. Thank the previous speaker and the couple's parents, and express your gratitude to everyone who helped make the wedding happen. Share a few words about the couple, including how they met and what makes them a great match. Include one or two personal anecdotes about the groom (and their partner, if you want) to add a sentimental touch. Close with a heartfelt toast, wishing the newlyweds a lifetime of happiness, love, and joy.

Keep it Short and Sweet

Aim for your speech to be between two and five minutes long. This is enough time to say something meaningful without losing your audience's attention. Focus on including only the most relevant and engaging content, and cut anything that rambles on or doesn't add value to your speech.

By preparing in advance, you'll be able to deliver a well-crafted and memorable best man's speech that celebrates the happy couple and their special day.

Keep it short

Keeping your speech short is one of the most important things to remember when preparing your best man's speech. You don't want your speech to be too long and bore the guests, so aim for around 3-5 minutes. This is enough time to say something meaningful before people get antsy.

A good way to ensure your speech doesn't go on for too long is to create an outline beforehand. This will help you stay focused and on track. You don't need to include every element in your speech, just customise it to fit the couple, the event, and your relationship with the groom. Keep your stories lighthearted and short, and avoid rambling on with no clear ending.

Practising your speech beforehand will also help you keep it concise. Practise out loud at least three times and record yourself if possible. This will help you get a feel for the timing and flow of your speech. Practising will also help you feel more confident, so you're less likely to ramble or repeat yourself on the day.

If you're worried about your speech being too long, ask a friend for feedback. They can help you identify areas where you can cut down or tighten up your speech. Remember, it's better to be short and sweet than long and boring!

Be sincere

Being sincere is an important part of giving a great best man speech. While it's normal to feel nervous about public speaking, there are several ways to ensure your authenticity and create a meaningful speech that resonates with the newlyweds and their guests. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:

Be Yourself

Stay true to your personality and don't try to adopt a different persona just for the speech. If you're not typically the funny one in the group, don't feel pressured to deliver a comedy routine. It's perfectly fine to keep your speech lighthearted and sincere. The couple chose you as the best man because they know and appreciate your unique character, so be yourself, and your speech will be well-received.

Share Sentimental Stories

Craft your speech around personal stories and anecdotes that highlight your relationship with the groom and your happiness for the couple. Share meaningful memories, whether they're from your childhood, school days, or adult life. These stories will not only entertain the audience but also showcase your genuine connection to the groom.

Focus on the Couple

While it's natural to want to talk about your friendship with the groom, remember that the wedding is about celebrating the couple. Make sure to direct a significant portion of your speech towards the newlyweds as a pair. Share how they met, the impact they've had on each other, and any other insights you have into their relationship. This will show your sincerity in wanting to honour their special day.

Keep it Positive

Even if you're known for your sharp wit and sarcasm, it's important to avoid any jokes or comments that might be seen as insulting or offensive. Refrain from mentioning sensitive topics like previous marriages, drinking, drugs, or adult humour. Keep your speech positive and focused on celebrating the love between the couple.

Practice

Practising your speech beforehand will help you feel more comfortable and confident during the delivery. Rehearse in front of a mirror, record yourself, or perform it for a small group of friends. This will allow you to get feedback, improve your delivery, and make any necessary adjustments. Practising will also help you feel more connected to your speech, making it easier to be sincere on the big day.

Keep it Concise

A lengthy speech can cause guests to lose interest, so aim for a duration of around 5-10 minutes. A shorter speech will help you stay focused and ensure that your sincerity comes across clearly.

By following these tips and infusing your speech with sincerity, you'll be able to create a meaningful and memorable best man speech that honours the newlyweds and leaves a lasting impression.

Avoid inside jokes

Inside jokes are a staple of any close friendship, but they can be a pitfall when it comes to best man speeches. While it may be tempting to include them, it's important to remember that not everyone will understand or appreciate them. Here are some reasons why you should avoid inside jokes in your best man speech:

Maintain Universality

The best stories are those that everyone can relate to. By sticking to universal themes, you ensure that your speech resonates with the entire audience, not just a select few. Everyone has experienced embarrassing moments, funny injuries, or the nervousness of meeting a significant other. Draw on these shared experiences to create a speech that is inclusive and engaging for all.

Avoid Embarrassment

While some inside jokes may seem harmless, it's important to consider the potential for embarrassment. The last thing you want is for your speech to make the groom, his new spouse, or the guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the mood joyous and carefree, and avoid any stories that might create an awkward atmosphere. Remember, you don't want to give the groom ammunition for revenge when it's his turn to speak at your wedding!

Respect the Couple

The focus of your speech should be on the couple and their special day. While inside jokes may be entertaining, they can detract from the significance of the occasion. Respect the couple's wishes and keep your speech appropriate and tasteful. This is especially important if the couple has specifically requested that certain topics be avoided.

Keep it Relevant

Inside jokes often lack context and can fall flat with an audience that is unfamiliar with them. It's crucial to provide context and make your stories relatable to the wider audience. If there are specific characters or references in your story, introduce them and make them visible to your listeners. This way, everyone can follow along and feel included in the celebration.

Be Mindful of the Occasion

A best man speech is a unique opportunity to honour the couple and their relationship. By avoiding inside jokes, you ensure that your speech remains relevant and meaningful to the occasion. Remember, the goal is to create a memorable tribute that celebrates the couple's love and leaves a lasting impression on everyone present.

In conclusion, while inside jokes may be tempting, it's important to consider the wider audience and the tone of the occasion. Stick to universal themes, avoid embarrassment, and respect the couple's wishes for their special day. By doing so, you'll deliver a speech that is engaging, appropriate, and truly honours the newlyweds.

Practice beforehand

Practice makes perfect, so they say. And when it comes to giving a best man speech, this is absolutely true. You might be petrified at the thought of giving a speech, but with a bit of practice, you'll be fine.

First, write down your speech. Then, try it out a few times in front of the mirror. You might be surprised at how different it sounds out loud. Practising will help your speech flow better, and you'll be less likely to stumble over your words. Set a timer when you're practising to check how long it is. You don't want to bore the guests with a long-winded speech.

Practise delivering your speech aloud at least three times. Take a video of yourself and watch it back to see how you're doing. Do you say "um" between every sentence? Are your gestures a little robotic? If you can't get honest feedback from friends in person, send the video to a close friend who won't be at the wedding and ask them for their thoughts.

Practise your public speaking whenever you can. You don't need to wait for a big day to improve. You can volunteer to lead a work meeting or give a toast at a party with friends.

Finally, don't forget to practise your body language. Rehearse not just your words but how you'll stand and present yourself on the big day. Practise open body language instead of putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms. Using gestures while you speak will also make you appear more confident and increase the value of your message. And don't forget to make eye contact with the crowd. Your eyes tell all.

Frequently asked questions