Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Names On The Envelope

Wedding invitation envelopes can be a tricky task, especially if you want to follow traditional etiquette. The outer envelope is the one that is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself. The outer envelope is usually more formal, with guests' full names and addresses, while the inner envelope is more informal, with titles and last names or just first names.

There are a few simple guidelines to follow when addressing wedding invitations. Traditionally, the outer envelope includes the recipient's full name and title, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. This format works for couples of all genders, whether they share a surname or not. A more modern approach is to use only first and last names, and to consider gender-neutral titles such as Mx. for non-binary guests.

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]. However, this can be adjusted to include both first names, especially if the wife would like her name included. For married couples with different last names, the outer envelope can include both full names with Mr. or Mrs. For unmarried couples living together, both names are included on one or two lines, with the person the couple is closest to listed first.

When inviting a single person with a plus one, the outer envelope should only include the name of the person you know, while the inner envelope can include and Guest. For single persons, the appropriate prefix should be used, such as Mr. for males, Ms. for females, and Mx. for non-binary guests.

Addressing guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, or judges, also has specific guidelines. For married couples where both partners are doctors, the outer envelope can be addressed to The Doctors [Shared Last Name]. If only one partner is a doctor, their name is listed first. The same rules apply to other distinguished titles.

When inviting a family with children, the outer envelope can be addressed to The [Family Name] or include the parents' names, while the inner envelope lists the children's names.

While these are general guidelines, it's important to personalise your invites to make your guests feel welcome.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the invitees. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be more informal, with options such as "Mr. and Mrs. [Shared Last Name]" or " [Husband's First Name] and [Wife's First Name]". So, for the Warrens, this could be "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

However, many modern women may not appreciate having their name left out and combined with their husband's. In this case, the outer envelope can include both the husband and wife's names: "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For the Warrens, this would be "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope can then be addressed similarly to the previous option: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

Another option is to forgo titles altogether and opt for a more modern approach. This can be done by simply addressing the couple by their first and last names, for example, "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren". This approach can be used for both the outer and inner envelopes.

It is worth noting that the traditional format of addressing a married couple with the same last name often includes the male's first and last name, with the wife's name being left out or combined with her husband's. However, this can be seen as outdated and may not sit well with some invitees.

When addressing same-sex married couples with the same last name, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Smith".

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the invitees. The outer envelope should include both individuals' titles and full names, with the woman's name listed first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.

The inner envelope can be more informal, but it is still important to include both individuals' names. You can address them by their titles and surnames, keeping the woman's name first, or use their first names only. For example, "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".

If the couple has children, their names can be included on the inner envelope as well. For girls under 18, you have the option to use "Miss" as a title, while boys do not need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

It is also worth noting that some couples may prefer a more modern and informal approach to envelope addressing. This can include forgoing titles altogether and using only first and last names, or using a gender-neutral title like "Mx." instead of "Mr." or "Ms.". Be sure to double-check with your invitees about their preferred titles and names to ensure you are respecting their identity and preferences.

Additionally, if one of the married couple is a doctor, military personnel, lawyer, judge, or holds another distinguished title, be sure to include this in the addressing. The person with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender.

Finally, remember to give yourself enough time to assemble and address the invitations, and consider using a guest addressing service or a local calligrapher for assistance if needed.

Single persons

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to single persons, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If the single person is a minor (under 18 years old), the title is optional. If you do choose to include a title, use "Master" for boys under 13 and "Miss" for girls under 18.

If the single person is a widow, it is common to address the envelope with her married name, such as "Mrs. Sadie Schwartz". A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she uses her maiden name or married name.

When addressing a single person with a plus-one, it is best to include the name of the guest they will bring. If you don't know their guest's name, simply include "& Guest" or "and guest" after the invitee's full name.

Single Male Without a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"

Single Male With a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and Guest" or "James and Guest"

Single Female Without a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if she is under 18)

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"

Single Female With a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and Guest" or "Stephanie and Guest"

Single Non-Binary Person Without a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"

Inner envelope: "Mx. Li" or "Sam"

Single Non-Binary Person With a Plus-One:

Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"

Inner envelope: Sam Li and Guest

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to use the correct titles and names for each person. The outer envelope should include both guests' full names with their respective titles. For example, "Mr. Ed Parsons & Ms. Kara Morgan". If the couple has different last names, you can list the person you are closest with first. If you know them equally well, it is traditional to open with the female's name.

The inner envelope can be more informal, and you have a few options for how to address the couple. You can use their first names, such as "Ed and Kara", or you can use their titles and last names, such as "Mr. Parsons and Ms. Morgan".

It's worth noting that if the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

Families with children

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the full, formal names of the guests, including middle names if possible. For children under 18, the use of "Miss" for girls and "Master" for boys can be used to add formality.

For families with children under 18, the outer envelope should include the parents' full names and titles, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Fletcher". The inner envelope can then list the first names of the children, for example, "Daisy, Charlie, and Mabel".

If you are not inviting the children, it is important to note that their names should not be included on either envelope, as this may imply that they are invited. In this case, it is a good idea to mention on your wedding website that children are not invited and to follow up with families to ensure they understand.

For families with children over 18 who are living at home, each child should receive their own invitation. Their names should be written in full on the outer envelope, with the use of "Mr." or "Ms." on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
• "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"
• "The Thompson Family"

Inner envelope:

• "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"
• "The Fletchers"

Remember to use the appropriate titles and full names on the outer envelope, and you can be more informal on the inner envelope, using first names only if you prefer.

Frequently asked questions