Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Using Family Names

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to address families. One option is to list the family's last name, such as The Thompson Family. This implies that the invitation is for the entire family and can save time when addressing invitations. Another option is to list the names of the parents, either using both of their first and last names or just their last name, such as Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson. If the couple has different last names, their names can be listed separately, such as Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson. It is also possible to include the names of the children on the inner envelope, especially if they are under the age of 18.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the couple. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope is typically addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

If the couple is sensitive to the tradition of the wife's name being left out, you can address the outer envelope as "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]".

When addressing the inner envelope, you have a bit more flexibility. You can simply use "Mr. and Mrs. [Shared Last Name]" or use their first names, for example, " [Husband's First Name] and [Wife's First Name]".

It is worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette is becoming more flexible and modern. While the above guidelines are considered traditional, you can choose to address the couple by their first and last names only, without using titles, especially if that feels more comfortable for you and your guests.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out the full names of the invitees. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope should include the woman's name first, followed by the man's name on the same line. If the combined names are too long, they can be listed separately. Here is an example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If the couple is same-sex, either name can go first. It is also acceptable to forgo titles and list their names separately, or in alphabetical order if they have different last names. For example:

> Outer envelope: "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell" or "Celine Elgin and Jacqueline Purcell"

> Inner envelope: "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" or "Celine and Jacqueline"

If the couple has children and you are inviting the whole family, the outer envelope should include the parents' names, with each child's name listed on the inner envelope. For example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

> Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

It is important to note that if you do not include each child's name, it may be implied that children are not invited.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both people's names on the invitation, either on the same line or on separate lines. If the couple has different last names, write their full names with an "and" between them to indicate that they are a couple. The person who is closest to the invitee should be listed first, or you can go in alphabetical order by last name if you are equally close to both. Here is an example:

"Outer envelope: Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

Inner envelope: Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee or Stanley and Amanda"

If the couple lives together but is not married, placing their names on two different lines indicates that they are not legally married. However, if they have been living together for a long time (e.g., ten years), using "and" between their names is appropriate.

When addressing the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use personal titles and last names or opt for a more casual approach with first names only. It is also worth noting that some unmarried couples may prefer to use "Ms." instead of "Miss" as it does not identify a woman by her marital status.

Single invitees

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to consider the guest's preferences and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some guidelines for addressing single invitees:

Names and Titles

• It is generally recommended to use the guest's full name, including their title (Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms.). This adds a touch of formality to the invitation.
• For males over the age of 18, use "Mr." For married, divorced, or widowed women, use "Mrs.". "Miss" is used for single women and girls under 18.
• "Ms." is a catch-all title that can be used for unmarried women over 30 or when you are unsure of their marital status.
• When addressing close friends, you may use only their first name, as it is more intimate and casual.
• If a guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military official, or judge, it is respectful to include this in the address.

Plus-Ones

• When inviting a single friend, you may choose to include a plus-one option. This is commonly done by adding "and guest" to the invitation.
• If you know the name of the guest's partner, it is more personal to include their name instead of "guest."
• For unmarried couples living together, it is standard etiquette to keep their names on separate lines or to include "and" between their names.

Address Format

• The outer envelope should include the guest's full name and title, centred on the envelope.
• The return address should be written in the upper left corner of the outer envelope or on the back flap to save space.
• The inner envelope is more informal, typically including only the guest's last name and title.

Other Considerations

• When addressing guests by their full name, use their preferred name if they are known by a nickname.
• Avoid using abbreviations, except for standard abbreviations like "Mr." and "Mrs.". Spell out words like "and" and the full address.
• If you are unsure about a guest's title or name preference, it is best to ask them or someone close to them to avoid any confusion or offence.

Remember to be consistent in your formatting and to double-check all addresses before sending out the invitations.

Families

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to families, there are a few options. If you are inviting a family with children under 18, the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). You should list each child by name on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss", and boys don't need a title until they're 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

If you don't include each child's name, you're implying that children are not invited. However, it's still a good idea to specify that the wedding is adults-only through word of mouth or on your wedding website.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson" or "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If you are inviting a family with children over 18, it's usually best to send a separate invitation to each individual. However, if they live with their parents, you can include them all on the same invitation. Here's an example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

You can also simplify family invitations by addressing them to a last name, for example, "The Brady Family".

Frequently asked questions