Writing Wedding Invitations: A Guide To Perfectly Worded Requests

Writing a wedding invitation is not as complicated as you may think. The wording of a wedding invitation should provide all the essential details, such as the couple's full names, the hosts of the event (usually the bride's parents), the ceremony location, and the reception venue.

[Host line]: This line names the host(s) of the wedding, traditionally the bride's parents.

[Attendance request]: This line invites guests to the wedding and can be creative and fun.

[Couple's names]: The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger, fancy text.

[Date and time]: The date and time are traditionally written out in full but can also be expressed numerically in modern invites.

[Location]: Include the name and full address of the venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If the wedding is abroad, add the country as well.

[Reception details]: If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply write reception to follow. Otherwise, include the full address and other details on a separate card.

[Dress code]: Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. This is usually mentioned in the lower corner of the invite or on a separate card.

What to include

There are a few key elements that should be included in your wedding invitation. While the wording can be adapted to fit your unique situation and tone, here is a general breakdown of what to include:

Host Line:

The opening line typically mentions the host(s) of the wedding, which is usually the bride's parents in a traditional setting. However, modern weddings often have different contributors, such as both sets of parents or even the couple themselves. Here are some examples to consider:

• "Together with their families"
• "Together with our families"
• "Together with their parents"
• Specific names of the hosts, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"

Attendance Request:

This line invites guests to share in your special day and can be tailored to match the tone of your wedding. Here are some options:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (indicating a ceremony in a house of worship)
• "Request the pleasure of your company" (indicating a secular ceremony)
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

Couple's Names:

This is the main event! The names of the couple are usually displayed prominently and may be in a larger or fancy typeface. Traditionally, the bride's name precedes the groom's name. However, for same-sex couples, you can choose the order that feels right, such as alphabetical order or what looks best with the invitation design.

Date and Time:

Provide the date and time of your wedding ceremony. In formal invitations, the date and time are usually spelled out in full. For modern invites, numerical figures may be used, but ensure that the font is legible to avoid confusion. Here are some examples:

• "Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four" (formal)
• "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon" (informal)

Location:

Include the name and full street address of your wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If your wedding is abroad, mention the country as well. The street address is typically not needed unless the venue is a private residence or has an unlisted address.

Reception Details:

If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, a simple "Reception to follow" will suffice. If the reception is held elsewhere, provide the full address and other relevant information. You can include this on a separate details card tucked into the invitation or on the invitation itself if there is room.

Optional Dress Code:

Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for your guests. Mention the dress code in the lower corner or bottom centre of the invitation, or use a separate details card or your wedding website. Here are some examples:

• "Black-tie"
• "Formal attire"
• "Cocktail attire"
• "Beach casual"

Remember, you can adapt these sections to fit your unique situation and tone. For instance, if you have divorced parents or are part of a modern family, you can adjust the host line accordingly. Additionally, don't overload your invitations with too much text; instead, provide additional details on insert cards or your wedding website.

Who to address

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to use the full, formal names of your guests. Here are some guidelines on how to address invitations to different groups of people:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope is usually addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple prefers to have the wife's name included, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]".

Married Couple with Different Last Names

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope can be addressed with both individuals' full names, with the woman's name first. For same-sex couples, the same format applies, ensuring that a suitable prefix is used.

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name

The outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. [First Man's Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mr. [First Second Man's Name]-[Second Man's Last Name]".

Unmarried Couple

For couples who live at the same address but are unmarried, the outer envelope can be addressed to both people on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first.

Single Female

For women over the age of 18, the prefix "Ms." is used, while for those under 18, "Miss" is used. If a single female has been offered a plus-one, this can be indicated on the inner envelope only.

Single Male

For men over the age of 18, the prefix "Mr." is used. If a single male has been offered a plus-one, this can also be indicated on the inner envelope.

Married Couple with One Person Holding a Distinguished Title

If one person in the couple has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military officer, judge, reverend, or rabbi, their name is usually listed first, followed by their spouse's name.

Family, Including Children

When inviting an entire family, the outer envelope can include just the family name or the parents' names. The inner envelope would then list the names of the children. If children are over the age of 18, they should receive a separate invitation.

Casual Weddings

For more casual weddings, it is acceptable to use first and last names without titles. However, it is important to maintain formality for older or more conservative guests.

How to word the request

The request line conveys the purpose of your wedding invitation: asking guests to attend your wedding ceremony. While the exact wording can vary depending on how formal or relaxed you want to be, the core message remains the same: You're invited to the marriage.

• "Request the honour of your presence" – traditionally used to denote a religious service.
• "Request the pleasure of your company" – used to denote a non-religious ceremony.
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"

If the bride's parents are hosting, the request line can be:

"Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter"

If both sets of parents are hosting, you can use:

"Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children"

For a wedding hosted by the couple, the request line could be:

"Request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their union"

If you want to include the names of the couple in the request line, you can say:

"Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of [bride's name] and [groom's name]"

Example 1:

"Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jessica to Mr. Edward Jones on [date] at [time] at [location]. Reception to follow."

Example 2:

"Together with their families, [bride's name] and [groom's name] invite you to join them as they exchange wedding vows on [date] at [time] at [location]. Dinner and dancing to follow."

Example 3:

"The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [bride's name] and [groom's name] on [date] at [time] at [location]. Reception to follow."

Example 4:

"With great pleasure, we invite you to celebrate the marriage of [bride's name] and [groom's name] on [date] at [time] at [location]. Drinks, dinner and dancing to follow."

How to list names

The way you list names on a wedding invitation depends on who is hosting the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's parents host the wedding, and their names would come first on the invitation. However, nowadays, it is common for both sets of parents to host, or for the couple to host themselves. Here are some examples of how to list names in each of these scenarios:

Bride's parents hosting:

"Mr. and Mrs. Charles William Grimes request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Poppy Jane to Landon Parker Fox."

Groom's parents hosting:

"Mr. and Mrs. James Author Fox request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Poppy Jane Grimes to their son Landon Parker."

Both sets of parents hosting:

"Mr. and Mrs. Charles William Grimes and Mr. and Mrs. James Arthur Fox request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children."

Couple hosting:

"Together with their families, Poppy Jane Grimes and Landon Parker Fox request the honour of your presence at their marriage celebration."

If you are addressing a married couple with the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name, followed by the wife's name. For a same-sex couple, either name can come first. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If the couple has different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long, list them separately:

• Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
• Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

For unmarried couples, list both names on one line, with the person you are closest to first:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

If you are inviting a family with young children (under 18), the outer envelope is reserved for the parent(s) or guardian(s)' names. You should list each child by name on the inner envelope. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

Additional information

Enclosures

Use enclosures to give additional information and details. This could include:

• Wedding website details
• Reception details (if the reception is at a different location)
• Accommodations information (like reserved hotels)

Dress Code

Including dress code information is optional but can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black tie, you must include that on the invitation. If you don't include attire information, guests will infer the dress code from the formality of the invitation.

RSVP

Most couples choose to include a separate response card for guests to fill out and return. You can also give guests the option to RSVP via your wedding website.

Children

If you don't want children at your wedding, communicate this graciously and give ample notice to parents. A simple wording like "We are very sorry, but we are keeping our special day as an adult-only occasion" will do.

Gifts

It's best not to include gift registry information on your wedding invitations. Instead, incorporate this information into your wedding website.

Frequently asked questions