Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a great honour and a privilege. The best man is there to be the groom's friend and provide emotional support and guidance throughout the entire wedding planning process. The role is varied and far-reaching, and the best man is expected to be the groom's right-hand person.

Planning the bachelor party

The first step in planning the bachelor party is to set a date and budget. The best man should discuss with the groom what his expectations are for the party. Depending on the size of the party, it could be held at someone's home or require travel to another location. The best man should also consider the groom's interests when planning activities and selecting a venue or locale.

It's important to remember that the bachelor party is about celebrating the groom's last days as a single man, not ruining his relationship. The best man should make sure nothing happens at the party that could threaten the groom's relationship, and he should also try to stay sober to keep things under control.

The best man may also want to ask a groomsman to help with the planning, especially if the wedding is taking place in an area the best man is unfamiliar with.

Selecting suits

The best man's suit should complement the groom's attire, stand out from the other guests, and adhere to the wedding theme and venue. Here are some tips for selecting a suit for the best man:

Fabric and Colour

The choice of fabric and colour depends on the wedding's formality, theme, and venue, as well as the season and weather conditions. For a black-tie event, a well-tailored tuxedo in classic colours like midnight blue or black is a suitable option. For more casual or unique-themed weddings, the best man might opt for suits with bolder patterns, unconventional colours, or relaxed fits. Lightweight and breathable fabrics such as linen or finely woven wool are ideal for outdoor summer weddings.

Fit and Style

The best man should choose a suit that is comfortable and allows ease of movement, especially if they will be coordinating and assisting the groom throughout the day. The suit should also reflect the best man's personal style and be something they feel confident wearing. A good suit should have a flattering fit, with a balance between a slim and relaxed silhouette.

Accessories

Accessories such as a pocket square, cufflinks, or a boutonniere can enhance the overall look and tie the ensemble back to the wedding's colour scheme or theme. It is essential to strike a balance between complementing the groom's attire and standing out from the other guests.

Suit Rental or Purchase

The best man usually covers the cost of their attire, whether renting or purchasing. However, it is essential to discuss and clarify expenses early on, as cultural practices or the couple's preferences may vary.

Timeline

The best man should start planning their attire several months before the wedding, coordinating with the groom and groomsmen about attire fittings and purchases. It is crucial to have a clear understanding of the wedding day timeline, including the schedule for getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception, to ensure the suit is appropriate for each part of the celebration.

Being the groom's wingman

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you will be the groom's go-to person and confidante throughout the engagement and wedding planning process. Your role is to provide emotional support and be a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety the groom may be feeling. Offer to help with any wedding planning tasks, such as organising vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules. You can also lend a hand with suit selections for the groom, groomsmen, and important family members, and even put together emergency kits for the groomsmen.

One of your main duties will be planning the stag do or bachelor party. Work with the groom to choose a date, budget, guest list, and activities, and then recruit the other groomsmen to help. Make sure the groom has an unforgettable time and that everyone else enjoys themselves too.

In the weeks leading up to the wedding, attend the wedding rehearsal and dinner, and inform the groomsmen of the wedding day schedule. You may also be expected to give a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities.

On the Wedding Day

On the morning of the wedding, help the groom get ready and ensure he and the groomsmen arrive at the venue on time. Throughout the day, your main priority is to keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule and ensure they are in the right place at the right time. You will also need to keep the wedding rings safe until it is time for the couple to exchange them.

During the ceremony, stand by the groom's side and greet the arriving guests. If there is no official ring bearer, you may be asked to hold the couple's personal items, such as their phones or money, in addition to the rings. After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room and stand in the receiving line to greet the guests.

At the reception, you may be asked to act as the master of ceremonies, announcing key moments such as the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cutting of the cake. You will also need to deliver your best man speech, which should be well-crafted, practised, and focused on the newlyweds and their love story. Get the party started by being the first one on the dance floor, and mingle with the guests to ensure everyone is having a great time.

After the Wedding

There are a few tasks that may fall to the best man after the wedding, such as returning hired items, suits, and decorative details, and safely storing the wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon straight away. You may also be asked to help with thank-you notes to the guests and check in with the newlyweds after their honeymoon to offer congratulations and thanks.

Holding the groom's ring

The best man's role in holding the rings is not just a physical task but also conveys the trust and responsibility placed in him by the bride and groom. It is a great honour to be entrusted with such a significant item, and the best man should be mindful of the importance of this duty.

In most weddings, the best man holds both the bride's and groom's rings. This is often the case as the Maid/Matron of Honour usually holds the bridal bouquet and may not have pockets to securely store the ring. However, some couples may prefer to have the Maid of Honour hold the groom's ring, especially if the best man has other duties that require his attention. Ultimately, the couple can decide what works best for them, and the best man should be prepared to take on this critical task.

To ensure the ring's safety, the best man can keep it on his little finger, making it easier to discreetly remove when the time comes to present it. Alternatively, some couples may opt to use a ring box or pillow, which can be glued or attached to a small box, providing a secure place to store the rings during the ceremony.

In summary, holding the groom's ring is a significant responsibility for the best man, and he should be mindful of the trust placed in him by the couple. By keeping the ring safe and presenting it at the appropriate time, the best man plays a crucial role in facilitating the exchange of rings, a symbolic moment in the wedding ceremony.

Giving a speech

The best man's speech should be insightful and entertaining, keeping everyone's attention with a mix of humour and heartfelt moments. It should be short—around 3-4 minutes—and include funny stories about the groom, as well as something nice about the bride. It's also a good idea to mention how well-suited the couple is and wish them luck in their new life together.

If you're worried about writing and delivering the speech, consider hiring a professional speechwriter to help you organise your thoughts and avoid any bad jokes. Practising your speech beforehand will also help you feel more confident on the day.

Remember, while it's important to be respectful and mindful of the audience, it's also okay to be yourself and have fun with it!

Frequently asked questions