Best Man's Duties: A Comprehensive Guide

The role of the best man is to be the groom's right-hand man and to support him in any way possible before and during the wedding. The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or a relative, and it is their job to lead the rest of the groomsmen and be the point of contact for the groom. In addition to planning the bachelor party and giving a speech, the best man is also responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe, assisting the groom with his outfit, and making sure he arrives at the ceremony on time.

Organise the stag do

Organising the stag do is one of the best man's most important duties. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable celebration:

• Start planning early: Don't underestimate the time and effort required to organise a stag do. Starting months in advance will make the process less stressful and allow you to create a memorable event.
• Consult the groom: Ask the groom for a list of people he wants to invite. Be mindful of everyone's budgets and try to accommodate their preferences.
• Choose a date: Select a date that works for everyone, especially the groom. Ideally, schedule the stag do at least a month before the wedding to ensure everyone has time to recover and look their best on the big day.
• Decide on the location and activities: Consider whether you want to stay local or go overseas. Determine the duration, such as a full week or just a day. Discuss budget constraints and plan activities that align with the groom's interests.
• Create a group chat: Set up a group chat with all the attendees to facilitate easy communication and keep everyone informed about the plans.
• Be mindful of the groom's preferences: Remember, the stag do is all about the groom. Ensure that the chosen activities, location, and overall experience are tailored to his tastes.
• Manage finances: As the best man, you are typically responsible for collecting money from the attendees. Be transparent about the costs involved and ensure everyone contributes their fair share.
• Handle travel arrangements: If the stag do involves travelling, it's your responsibility to make the necessary arrangements, including transportation and accommodations.
• Keep it safe and respectful: While the stag do is meant to be a fun and memorable celebration, it's crucial to prioritise the groom's wellbeing and his relationship. Avoid any activities that could jeopardise his relationships or cause embarrassment.
• Stay organised: Create a detailed plan for the stag do, including transportation, activities, meals, and any other relevant details. Share the itinerary with the attendees in advance to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Give a speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important parts of the wedding. It's a big responsibility, but if you prepare in advance and speak from the heart, you'll do a fantastic job. Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable and meaningful speech:

Know Your Role

The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or a family member. It's an honour to be chosen, and it means you play a significant role in the wedding. As the best man, you are the groom's confidant, personal valet, and logistics guru. You are his right-hand man, supporting him during the wedding planning and on the big day itself.

Prepare in Advance

Start thinking about your speech months in advance. The earlier you start, the less stressful it will be. Brainstorm ideas, jot down notes, and practise your delivery. If there are multiple best men, collaborate with them to create a cohesive speech.

Keep it Light and Sincere

The key to a great best man's speech is finding the right balance between humour and sincerity. Share funny stories and anecdotes about the groom, but also speak from the heart. Talk about your friendship, your best memories together, and what makes him such a great person. Keep it casual and heartfelt.

Structure Your Speech

A good structure for your speech is to introduce yourself, share positive stories about the groom, say something about how wonderful his partner is, and then wish them both a happy future together. You can also mention any guests who have travelled a long distance to be there and acknowledge any birthdays or special occasions. Keep it brief—around 1-2 minutes is a good length.

Rehearse and Get Feedback

Practise your speech beforehand, perhaps even running it by the groom the night before the wedding. This will help you refine your delivery and ensure that your speech is well-thought-out and tasteful. Ask for feedback from friends or family to get a sense of how it lands.

Keep it Family-Friendly

Remember that your audience includes people of all ages, so keep your speech "fun for the whole family." Avoid anything risqué or offensive. You want to create a warm and inclusive atmosphere, so opt for good-natured jokes and light-hearted anecdotes.

Be Yourself

Ultimately, the best thing you can do is be yourself. It's natural to feel nervous, but remember that you're among friends and family. Your presence as the best man is already a special contribution to the wedding. Relax, be authentic, and speak from the heart, and your speech is sure to be a success.

Keep the wedding rings safe

Keeping the wedding rings safe is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure that the rings are secure:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you will likely be in charge of holding the wedding rings until it is time for the vows to be exchanged. It is crucial to find a safe place to store the rings before the ceremony. Consider placing them in a secure box or pouch and keeping them with you at all times. Triple-check your pockets to ensure they are hole-free! You don't want to fumble around when it's time to present the rings.

During the Wedding

If there is a ring bearer, they will typically carry the rings down the aisle on a pillow. As the best man, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to you for safekeeping until the officiant requests them.

After the Wedding

Once the rings have been exchanged, your responsibility for their safekeeping comes to an end. You can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that you successfully fulfilled this crucial duty!

General Tips

• Keep the rings with you at all times and be mindful of your pockets or storage location.
• If possible, avoid placing the rings in a location where they could easily be misplaced, such as a loose pocket or an unsecured box.
• If there is a ring bearer, ensure you brief them on their role and the importance of handling the rings with care.
• Practice handing over the rings to the officiant or couple during the rehearsal, so you are confident and prepared for the actual moment.
• Enjoy the rest of the wedding festivities, knowing you played a vital role in ensuring the smooth exchange of wedding rings!

Help the groom get ready

Helping the groom get ready is one of the best man's most important duties. It's your job to ensure the groom and his groomsmen know their tasks and where to position themselves on the wedding day. Remind them to turn off their phones during the ceremony and suggest a final wardrobe check. Make sure bow ties aren't loose, cufflinks are in place, hair is well-groomed, and remind them to save the jokes and antics for later.

On the morning of the wedding, it's your job to ensure the groom's suit and tie, cravat or bow tie are perfect, and that everyone has the right shoes on. You might also be responsible for handing out any buttonholes to the bridal party.

You can also help the groom get ready by creating a playlist of songs for the morning to get everyone in the mood to party.

If the groom is nervous, it's a good idea to pull him aside and ask him seriously if he's sure he wants to go through with the wedding.

Additionally, you'll need to make sure the groom is eating and drinking enough water throughout the day and during the ceremony/reception. It's easy to forget the basics, but nobody wants a dehydrated or drunk groom at the end of the night.

Finally, you can help the groom get ready by making sure he gets to the venues on time and sober.

Dance with the maid of honour

Dancing with the Maid of Honour

As the best man, you will be expected to dance with the maid of honour. This is your chance to be a gallant gentleman and sweep her off her feet. It is also a great opportunity to show your gratitude for her support during the wedding planning process. Here are some tips to make the most of this special moment:

• Be a Gentleman: Openly ask the maid of honour for a dance and express your appreciation for her hard work. This simple gesture will make her feel valued and appreciated.
• Lead with Confidence: As the best man, you set the tone for the wedding party. When you dance with the maid of honour, lead her confidently across the dance floor. This will not only make her feel at ease but also showcase your role as the head groomsman.
• Engage in Conversation: Take this opportunity to get to know the maid of honour better. Thank her for her contribution to the wedding and ask about her experience planning the event. Show genuine interest in her responses, and your dance will be all the more enjoyable.
• Compliment the Bride: During your dance, be sure to pay a sincere compliment to the bride. This will not only make the maid of honour feel good about her friend's choice of wedding attire but also reinforce the positive atmosphere of the celebration.
• Keep it Light and Fun: Your dance with the maid of honour should be a joyful moment for both of you. Keep the conversation light and playful, and don't be afraid to crack a few jokes. This will help both of you relax and enjoy the dance, creating a memorable experience.
• Be Mindful of the Song Choice: When you dance with the maid of honour, the song playing in the background will set the tone for your interaction. Choose a song that is upbeat, appropriate for all ages, and not too fast-paced. This will make it easier for both of you to relax and have fun.
• Offer Refreshments: Before or after your dance, offer to get the maid of honour a drink or some refreshments. This thoughtful gesture will show your consideration for her comfort and well-being during the busy wedding celebrations.
• Include Other Wedding Party Members: While your dance with the maid of honour is special, remember to share the joy by inviting other wedding party members to join you on the dance floor. This will create a more inclusive atmosphere and ensure that everyone feels involved in the celebrations.
• Be Mindful of Cultural Sensitivities: If the maid of honour comes from a different cultural background, be mindful of any cultural sensitivities or traditions she may have regarding dancing. Respect her boundaries and ask her beforehand if she feels comfortable with the idea of dancing together.
• Enjoy the Moment: Most importantly, savour the moment and enjoy your dance with the maid of honour. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and your positive attitude will make it memorable for both of you.

Remember, your role as the best man extends beyond the groom's right-hand man; it also involves engaging with the entire wedding party, including the maid of honour. By embracing this responsibility with enthusiasm and joy, you will not only fulfil your duties but also create lasting memories with the entire wedding party.

Frequently asked questions