Best Man's Speech: Order And Structure For Success

Being chosen as the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. One of the most important tasks you'll have is to give a memorable speech. This is your chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. A great speech can really be an emotional moment for the couple and the guests.

A well-structured best man's speech should include an introduction, anecdotes, heartfelt moments, and a concluding toast. It should be lighthearted and personal, with a mix of humour and sentiment. The ideal length is around 4-7 minutes, or 1000-1300 words, and it should follow a set structure to ensure it flows smoothly.

1. Introduction and Icebreaker: Start with a light-hearted joke or icebreaker to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. Then, introduce yourself and explain your connection to the groom and the couple.

2. Thank the Previous Speakers: Acknowledge the previous speaker and other speakers before you. This is also your chance to warn the audience if your speech will take a sillier or more sentimental turn.

3. Thank the Couple's Parents: Express your gratitude to the couple's parents for raising incredible adults and, if applicable, for hosting a wonderful celebration.

4. Shoutout to the New Spouse: Give a special shoutout to the new spouse, even if you have a closer relationship with the groom. Talk about the qualities you admire about them and why you love them in the groom's life.

5. Share Personal Stories: Include one or two anecdotes or funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him.

6. Speak About the Couple's Relationship: Share how the couple met and how their relationship has grown so that the guests can gain insight into the newlyweds. If you played a part in bringing them together, be sure to mention it!

7. Conclude with a Heartfelt Toast: Close out your speech by asking everyone to raise a glass and provide well wishes for the newly married couple. You can include a final joke or a marriage quote from a movie or book.

Icebreakers and jokes

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show support for the happy couple. It's also a chance to showcase your relationship with the groom. A great icebreaker or joke can really set the tone for the rest of your speech, so it's worth spending some time to come up with something good!

• Break the ice with a light-hearted joke: This will warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It will also set a friendly tone for the rest of your speech. For example, you could say something like, "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone, to sit down and be quiet..." (and then sit down). Or, "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby—I woke up crying every two hours."
• Introduce yourself and your friendship with the groom: Share how you met your best friend, which will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well. For example, "Hello everyone, I'm [name], and I've known [groom] since we were kids. [Groom] hates it when I take all the attention away from him, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."
• Thank the previous speakers and the couple's parents: This is a nice way to transition into your speech and show your appreciation. For example, "Let's give a round of applause for the amazing speech given by the maid of honour. And I'd like to express my gratitude to the couple's parents for raising such wonderful people and for hosting this fantastic celebration."
• Share a few amusing stories or anecdotes about the groom: This is your chance to roast the groom playfully, but always keep it friendly and respectful. For example, "I remember when we first met in the first grade. [Groom] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free hand to shake mine and ask if I wanted to be his friend."
• Include a tongue-in-cheek joke about marriage: For example, "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need are two hearts and a diamond. But by the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!"
• End your speech with a sincere toast to the couple: Wish them a happy future and life together. You can also include one final punchline to finish on a high note. For example, "So I'd like to raise a glass to the happy couple. May your love continue to grow, your laughter never fade, and your pizza toppings always be a source of playful debate!"

Introducing yourself

The best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show support for the happy couple. It is a chance to share stories and memories about the groom and your relationship with him. It is also an opportunity to welcome the partner into your circle of friends and share your well-wishes for the couple's future.

How to Introduce Yourself

When introducing yourself, it is important to establish your connection to the couple, especially the groom. You can start by sharing your name and how you know the groom. For example:

> "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous. I'm [Your Name], the best man, and I've known [Groom's Name] since middle school, which means that it was before we learned mullets weren't a good look for either of us."

You can also share a quick joke or a memorable story about how you met the groom to lighten the mood and engage the audience. For instance:

> "I first met [Groom] back in St. David's High School. He was team captain, head boy, and always the most popular person to be around. We all imagined he'd go on to play for England. Fast-forward a few decades, I'm not sure where it all went wrong? [...] I'm not sure where it all went wrong, but I am sure that I am deeply honoured to be here today as [Groom's] best man."

Making it Memorable

To make your introduction more memorable, you can add some humour or a personal touch. You could tease the groom about his fashion sense, or share a story about a shared experience. For example:

> "I've known [Groom] for so long that I remember when his signature dance move was the Macarena. Actually, it still is – some things never change!"

> "I first met [Groom] when we were working at a pizza joint called Domenica's. We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots, and I can't tell you the number of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions."

Keeping it Relevant

While introducing yourself, it is important to keep in mind the purpose of your speech, which is to celebrate the groom and the couple. Make sure your introduction is not too long or off-topic. You can use your introduction to transition into sharing stories and anecdotes about the groom and his relationship with the bride.

In Conclusion

The introduction is an important part of the best man's speech as it sets the tone for the rest of your speech. It is an opportunity to connect with the audience and establish your relationship with the groom. Keep it light-hearted, entertaining, and sincere, and you will be sure to capture the attention of your audience!

Reading out messages

The couple may ask you to read out messages from friends and family who couldn't make it to the wedding. This is a great opportunity to add a surprise or something funny to your speech. You could get an old teacher to write a note, or a fun message from the landlord at their local pub, or even a celebrity! You could also put in some fake messages that will bring a laugh from the guests. For example, you could say that Channing Tatum sends his apologies for not turning up, as it was too hard to watch 'the one that got away'. Or you could have a note from the police, stating that they need the groom to come down to the station to give a new statement about the stag do!

The Do's and Don'ts of Reading Out Messages

• Do make it meaningful: Some of the messages may bring lots of emotion to the guests, so it's an important aspect of your speech.
• Do make it funny: It can be a great opportunity to make up some fake names and give some joke messages to make it more light-hearted.
• Don't forget to ask: Make sure the couple are happy for you to include this section in your speech.
• Don't go overboard: One or two messages is plenty. You don't want to lose the attention of the room!

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling and anecdotes section of your best man speech is the heart of your speech. It is where you will reveal the groom's character and entertain the guests. Select anecdotes that are humorous, heartwarming, or embarrassing, that showcase who the groom is and your relationship with him.

Example Story Structure

Setup

"Many of you know Tom as a successful architect, but I remember when his biggest construction project was building a pillow fort in our university dorm."

Development

"This wasn't just any fort. Tom had blueprints, structural support calculations, and a strict 'no shoes' policy."

Payoff

"That same attention to detail and slightly obsessive planning is exactly why Emma fell in love with him – though I'm sure the pillow fort helped."

Delivery

Your delivery can transform good content into an unforgettable speech. Think about varying your tone and pace to match your content.

Vocal Techniques

• A slightly faster pace
• Strategic pauses for laughter

For example: "Mark's dating history before meeting Julie was... interesting. [Pause for effect] Let's just say there was a reason we called him 'The Cat Lady Whisperer.'"

• A slower, more measured pace
• Genuine emotion in your voice

For example: "Watching you find happiness with Julie has been one of life's greatest gifts. [Slight pause] You're not just my best friend anymore – you've become the brother I never had."

Managing Audience Engagement

Reading the room and adjusting your delivery accordingly is crucial for maintaining a connection with your audience.

Engagement Techniques

• Scan different sections of the room
• Acknowledge reactions naturally
• Adjust timing based on responses
• Include subtle callbacks to earlier jokes

For example: "I see some knowing smiles from the university crowd over there – yes, the karaoke incident of 2015 is still legendary. For everyone else, let's just say what happens in karaoke stays in karaoke... mostly because we're still trying to forget it."

Advice and compliments

The advice and compliments section of your best man speech is a great opportunity to offer some light-hearted yet sincere guidance to the newlyweds. If you're married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for a happy marriage. If not, you could ask the couple's parents or grandparents for their wisdom, or even refer to famous couples in TV or movies.

You could also use this part of your speech to praise the couple's other half. Talk about the qualities they bring to your friend's life, or reflect on your favourite things about them and their relationship.

> "I've known [Groom] for 15 years, and I've never seen him as happy as he is with [Bride]. [Bride], you've brought out the best in him, and he's finally started doing his own laundry!"

> "I knew [Bride] was the one when she actually started laughing at [Groom]'s jokes. Either she has a fantastic sense of humour, or she's an incredible actress. After today, I guess we'll never know."

> "I knew something was different about [Groom] because he started showing up early to things. Actually early – not [Groom]-early, which usually means 20 minutes late. You've brought out the best in him, while accepting all his quirks."

> "I've watched [Groom] grow from [funny or endearing past trait] into [positive present quality]. [Bride], you've brought out the best in him, especially his [positive quality]."

> "I knew [Groom] had found someone special when he started talking about the future differently. It wasn't just about his plans anymore – it was about their plans together."

> "Marriage is a big milestone, and it's a time to reflect on the past and look forward. I wish you both a future filled with [three wishes, e.g. laughter, adventure, and love]."

Frequently asked questions