The Best Man: In Charge Of The Special Day

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. The role is typically assigned to the groom's closest friend or family member, often a sibling or very close friend, and it is considered an honour to be selected. The best man's duties include supporting the groom with wedding attire needs, planning and organising the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, and giving a speech at the reception. The best man also has the important job of keeping the wedding rings safe until it's time for the couple to exchange vows.

Planning the bachelor party

Consult the Groom

First, consult the groom about his dos and don'ts, including anything he considers off-limits. While a surprise party might be tempting, it's best to loop the groom in on the basic details like timing, location, and type of activities. Ask about his preferences and involve him in the planning process to ensure he enjoys the party.

Finalize the Guest List

Involve the groom in deciding the guest list, which typically includes the best man, groomsmen, and the groom's close male friends and family members. Ensure you have the contact details of all invitees and give them a heads-up about the party early on.

Discuss the Budget

Determine the budget by discussing with all attendees what they can realistically spend on the party. Keep in mind that the groom's expenses are usually covered by the group, so factor that into the overall cost.

Pick a Theme or Party Style

Decide on a theme or party style that suits the groom's and the group's interests. For example, an adventure-packed weekend trip, a chilled-out evening, or a night of bar-hopping.

Choose a Date and Location

Select a date and location that works for the groom and most of the invitees. The party is typically held one to three months before the wedding, and while it may not be possible to find a time that suits everyone, try to involve as many of the groom's friends as possible.

Book Travel and Accommodations

Book travel and accommodation three to four months in advance. Ensure you have confirmation from everyone in the group before booking to avoid any last-minute surprises or additional costs.

Finalize Activities

Book any remaining reservations for activities, such as restaurant dinners, golf outings, pool days, or brewery tours. Also, remember to include some downtime in the schedule for guests to relax.

Confirm Attendees and Share the Itinerary

A few weeks before the party, confirm the final guest count and share a detailed itinerary with the group. Include important details such as the hotel name and address, arrival times, and contact information.

Pack and Travel

If the party involves travelling, start packing your suitcase a week in advance and plan to arrive at the destination earlier than the rest of the guests to handle any last-minute setups.

Regroup and Say Thanks

After the party, send a quick thank-you note to the group, expressing your appreciation for their time and presence in celebrating the groom.

Remember, the bachelor party is about creating memorable experiences for the groom and his friends, so focus on planning activities that align with the groom's interests and ensure everyone has a great time!

Being the groom's emotional rock

Being chosen as the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties of the best man is to be the groom's emotional rock. Here are some ways the best man can provide emotional support and be there for the groom:

Before the Wedding

The best man should be the groom's go-to person and confidante throughout the wedding planning process. This involves providing a listening ear for the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions, offering reassurance, and helping to keep the groom focused and calm leading up to the big day. The best man can also assist with planning the bachelor party, choosing the groomsmen's attire, and providing logistical support.

On the Wedding Day

The best man's presence and support on the wedding day are crucial. He should help the groom get ready, ensure the groom and groomsmen are on schedule, and provide calming energy to ease any pre-wedding jitters. The best man may also hold the wedding rings, the groom's phone, and other personal items, further lightening the groom's load.

During the Ceremony and Reception

The best man traditionally stands beside the groom at the altar and may be asked to escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony. He also plays a key role in keeping the reception alive and moving, mingling with guests, and ensuring everyone is having a good time. The best man may be called upon to be the master of ceremonies, announcing key moments such as the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cake-cutting.

After the Wedding

The best man's duties don't end when the wedding is over. He may be asked to help with returning or cleaning suits, taking care of wedding gifts, and ensuring the couple's transportation is decorated and ready for their departure.

Remember, the role of the best man is to be the groom's right-hand man and provide support in any way possible. Being the groom's emotional rock is a vital aspect of this role, and it requires thoughtfulness, empathy, and a willingness to be there for the groom throughout the entire wedding journey.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

Before the Wedding

Communication is key. The best man should confirm with the couple who will be carrying the rings. If the best man is not the most reliable person for the job, the couple may opt for a young relative or the officiant to carry the rings. If the best man is indeed the chosen one, the couple should hand over the rings to him the night before the wedding, in their original box or a box chosen for the ceremony.

During the Ceremony

If the best man is holding the rings, he should ensure they are kept in a safe place, triple-checking that his pockets don't have holes! If the rings are being carried on a pillow by a young ring bearer, the best man should fasten the rings securely to the pillow.

After the Ceremony

The best man should return the rings to the couple after the ceremony. The couple may wish to designate a safe place to store the rings, such as a locked room or box, until they are ready to wear them.

General Tips

• Keep the rings in their original box or a designated ring box. A box is easier to find and less likely to slip out of a pocket than a loose ring.
• Avoid wearing or touching the rings before the wedding to preserve their sparkle.
• Get wedding ring insurance to protect against loss or damage.
• If the rings are particularly valuable, consider hiring security for the wedding or having a trusted person keep a close eye on the rings at all times.
• Return any rented wedding attire, including the rings, promptly and in good condition.

Acting as a witness to the marriage

The best man is also responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe before and during the ceremony. If there is no official ring bearer, the best man holds the rings for safekeeping until the vows are exchanged. In addition to the rings, the best man may also need to hold onto the groom's cell phone, wallet, and vows, as well as any other miscellaneous accessories.

The best man is also in charge of planning and organizing the bachelor party and serving as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, including the groomsmen and family members. This includes coordinating transportation for the groom and wedding party on the day of the wedding, if needed. The best man may also be responsible for collecting and transporting wedding gifts to the couple's home after the reception.

In the days leading up to the wedding, the best man is expected to attend pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, shower, and rehearsal dinner. During the rehearsal, the best man ensures that the groomsmen and bridesmaids understand their roles on the wedding day. The best man often gives a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities.

On the wedding day, the best man's main priority is to ensure that the groom and groomsmen arrive at the event venue on time. Throughout the day, the best man keeps an eye on the clock and makes sure that everyone is in the right place at the right time. The best man may also be tasked with welcoming guests to the wedding ceremony, especially if they know a large portion of the guests in attendance.

Giving a best man speech

So, you've been chosen as the best man at a wedding—congratulations! Being the best man is a huge honour and a big responsibility, too. One of your key duties is to give a best man speech, and here's a guide to help you prepare.

Prepare in advance

Giving a best man's speech can be daunting, but if you prepare in advance, you'll be able to deliver a well-crafted and memorable speech. Start by jotting down your ideas and anecdotes several weeks before the wedding. This will give you ample time to gather your thoughts and structure your speech effectively.

Know your role

As the best man, your speech should focus on the newlyweds and their love story. It's your job to set the tone for the night and get the crowd ready for a celebration. Your speech should be funny, anecdotal, and heartfelt. It should also be relatively short—just enough to wish the couple happiness and loosen up the crowd.

Be mindful of your content

While it's good to add a touch of humour, be mindful of the content of your speech. Avoid inside jokes that only a few guests will understand. You want your speech to be inclusive and engaging for all the guests. Steer clear of any inappropriate or offensive remarks, and be respectful of the couple and their families.

Practice makes perfect

Once you've drafted your speech, practice delivering it out loud. Practising will help you refine your speech, improve your delivery, and boost your confidence. You can also record yourself to get a sense of your pacing and body language. If you're nervous, it's perfectly fine to have some notes with you during the actual speech.

Time it right

The best man's speech usually comes after the father of the bride and/or groom's speech and before the maid of honour's speech. Time your speech so that it fits within the schedule of the reception. As a guide, aim for around 5-7 minutes, but check with the couple or wedding organiser if there's a specific time limit.

Enjoy the moment

Remember, this is a happy occasion, and your speech should reflect the joy and love in the room. Be yourself, relax, and enjoy the moment. Your speech is an opportunity to celebrate your friend's special day, so make it a memorable one!

Good luck with your speech, and cheers to the happy couple!

Frequently asked questions