Best Man Speech: How Long Should It Be?

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it's also a big responsibility. One of the most important duties of the best man is to deliver a memorable speech. But how long should it be?

There's no exact formula for the ideal length of a best man speech, but a good rule of thumb is to aim for somewhere between two and ten minutes. This gives you enough time to share some anecdotes, crack a few jokes, and propose a heartfelt toast to the newlyweds, without monopolising the reception or losing the attention of the guests.

Remember, the wedding day is all about the couple, so make sure your speech focuses on them and their relationship, rather than your friendship with the groom. Keep it light, positive, and succinct, and you'll give a speech that's just the right length.

Length

The length of a best man's speech is important. It shouldn't be too long, nor should it be too short. The general consensus is that a best man's speech should last between two and ten minutes.

The Goldilocks Approach

Adopting what has been termed the "Goldilocks approach" to speech length, it is recommended that a best man's speech should be somewhere between two and five minutes. This gives you enough time to share stories, crack jokes, or propose a toast without rambling on or losing the attention of your audience.

Number of Speakers

The number of speakers at a wedding will also determine the length of your speech. If there are three speakers, including the best man, the speech should be around 10 minutes. With four speakers, aim for eight minutes, and with five, around six minutes.

Word Count

A best man's speech should be between 600 and 1,000 words. This equates to around 140 words per minute. Breaking your speech into manageable sections of about 100 words each will help you maintain momentum.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practising your speech will help you nail the right length. Rehearse your speech at least three times and consider getting feedback from friends. Practising will also help you feel more comfortable and confident on the day, so you don't rush or mumble.

Content

The content of your best man speech is arguably the most important part of your duties as best man. It's a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. While you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it. Here are some tips on how to create the perfect content for your best man speech.

Know Your Audience

It's crucial to know who you're tailoring your content to. Ask the couple beforehand who will be in attendance and consider their various backgrounds and cultures. Refrain from mentioning anything that you wouldn't want the bride's grandmother or the groom's boss to know.

Focus on the Couple

While you may be tempted to centre the speech on your friendship with the groom, remember that the relationship you're celebrating is the one between the newlyweds. You were chosen to give a speech because you can shine a unique light on their relationship. Focus on the impact the bride has had on the groom and how the groom has changed for the better.

Keep it Lighthearted

Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception. While you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it. Keep things positive and avoid turning your toast into a roast. Even if well-meaning, jokes at the couple's expense are not recommended. Instead, poke fun at the groom's funny characteristics or quirks.

Include Personal Stories

What will make your best man speech stand out are personal stories and anecdotes. Share one or two of your favourite memories with the groom (and their partner, if you want). Avoid choosing a story that rambles on and has no sentimental or funny ending—keep it lighthearted and short.

Keep it Short and Sweet

The ideal length for a best man speech is between two to eight minutes, or 700 to 1,000 words. This gives you enough time to make your speech meaningful without causing guests to lose interest.

Delivery

Preparation

Start by preparing your speech in advance, preferably two months before the wedding. This will allow you to focus on other wedding festivities as the date approaches. Write down your speech or create small note cards with bullet points to keep you on track. Practise your speech aloud at least three times and consider filming yourself to get feedback from friends. Practising will help you refine your delivery and ensure you don't speak too fast or too slowly. Remember to speak confidently, clearly, and at a moderate pace.

Structure

Aim for a speech length of around two to eight minutes. This is enough time to share meaningful stories and well-wishes without losing the attention of your audience. Structure your speech with a strong introduction, anecdotes, and a heartfelt conclusion. Include one or two personal stories or anecdotes, keeping them lighthearted, short, and universally understandable. Avoid inside jokes or stories that require extensive background knowledge.

Audience Engagement

When delivering your speech, maintain open body language. Avoid putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms. Use gestures while you speak to appear more confident and engaging. Make eye contact with your audience, and try to connect with them by asking questions or posing a toast. Involve the audience by sharing a fun quote or a story about your relationship with the couple that guests can relate to.

Humour and Sentiment

While humour is an essential part of a best man's speech, it's important to strike a balance. Avoid relying solely on humour and include meaningful sentiments as well. Share how you truly feel about the couple and your friend. If comedy doesn't come naturally to you, don't force it—focus on delivering a heartfelt speech instead. Keep your jokes appropriate and avoid topics that might offend or embarrass certain guests.

Authenticity

Stay true to yourself and your usual demeanour. If you're not typically the comedian of the group, don't feel pressured to be one during your speech. Be yourself, and your authenticity will shine through. If you are naturally funny, feel free to sprinkle in some jokes, but remember to keep them appropriate and in good taste.

Preparation

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it's also a big responsibility. One of your most important duties is to deliver a memorable wedding speech. The best man's speech is often one of the highlights of the wedding, and it's a chance for you to celebrate your relationship with the couple and your best friend.

Get Started Early

The best man's speech is not something you want to leave until the last minute. Wedding writer and author Dominic Bliss recommends starting to write your speech at least two months before the wedding. This will give you plenty of time to brainstorm ideas and write down any stories, jokes, or quotes you want to include. It will also mean you can fully enjoy the wedding festivities in the lead-up to the big day.

Know Your Audience

It's essential to consider who will be in the audience when writing your speech. Remember that the wedding guests will include people of different ages and cultural backgrounds, such as the couple's grandparents, boss, and colleagues. Keep your speech PG and avoid anything that might be offensive or inappropriate. If in doubt, run your speech by a friend beforehand to get their feedback.

Keep It Short and Sweet

The ideal length for a best man's speech is generally agreed to be between two and eight minutes. This gives you enough time to say something meaningful without losing the attention of your audience. Any longer, and you risk boring the guests or taking time away from other speakers and activities. Keep in mind that you're not the main event, and the wedding day is all about the couple.

Structure Your Speech

A good way to ensure your speech stays within the ideal time frame is to structure it ahead of time. A simple structure to follow is to begin with a strong introduction, include six stories or anecdotes, and end with a heartfelt toast. Each story should be around 100 words, giving you a total of 700-1000 words for a 7-10 minute speech.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Once you've written your speech, it's time to start practising. Even if you think you've got it all under control, make sure to practise delivering your speech aloud at least three times. Record yourself and watch it back to get a sense of your body language and speaking style. If possible, practise in front of a small group of friends and ask for their honest feedback. This will help you refine your speech and boost your confidence for the big day.

Consider Your Delivery

On the day, remember to speak slowly and clearly, and don't be afraid to make eye contact with your audience. If you need notes, use small cue cards instead of a sheet of paper, and avoid reading off your cell phone, as this can be distracting for guests and ruin the photographer's shots. Most importantly, try to relax and be yourself. The couple chose you to be the best man because they wanted you to share your unique perspective, so be genuine, and your speech is sure to be a hit.

Etiquette

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a toughremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. One of the most important tasks is delivering an incredible wedding speech. The best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it.

Length

The best man's speech should be between two and ten minutes long. This is enough time to say something meaningful before guests get too antsy. A good rule of thumb is to take what has been called the "Goldilocks approach": not too long, not too short, but just right. This balance will ensure that you have enough time to crack a few jokes, share a few stories, or propose a toast without rambling or having the audience look at their watches.

Preparation

Start writing your speech at least two months in advance. Brainstorm and write down any stories, jokes, or quotes you want to include. The more time you have to prepare, the better. This way, you'll be able to be fully present at upcoming wedding festivities. If you're open to it, consider bringing other attendees into the mix during your delivery. You can pose a question to them during your speech to make everyone feel included.

Delivery

Even if you think you have your speech in the bag, practice delivering it aloud at least three times. Take a video of yourself and watch the playback to get a feel for how your speech is going. If your friends can't offer critiques in person, send the video to a close friend who won't be going to the wedding and who can give you honest feedback.

When it's time to deliver your speech, remember to keep your body language open and confident. Rehearse not just your words, but also how you'll stand and present yourself on the big day. Practice making eye contact with the crowd and using gestures while you speak to appear more confident.

Content

The best man's speech should focus on the newlyweds and their relationship rather than your relationship with the groom. It's okay to include a story or two about your friendship with the groom, but don't centre the whole speech on it.

Your speech should be lighthearted and positive. Even if you think it's well-meaning, don't turn the toast into a roast or make jokes at the couple's expense. Keep it PG and avoid mentioning negativity about marriage in general, previous marriages/divorces, drinking, drugs, gambling, or "adult" humour.

If you want to deliver a funny best man speech, consider poking fun at the groom. Every groom will have some funny characteristic or quirk that you can ridicule, as long as it's something everyone can appreciate. Avoid obscure references or inside jokes, and don't make jokes about the bride.

Other tips

• If there are multiple speakers, your speech should be shorter. If there are four speakers, aim for around eight minutes; with five speakers, you're looking at about six minutes, and so on.
• If you're giving a joint speech with another best man, your speech should be around 12-13 minutes.
• If you're giving separate speeches, your speech should be around seven minutes.
• If you're the best man for your brother, it's okay to include some fun in your introduction about how upset you were when your number one priority spot was usurped by a noisy, ugly ginger baby!

Frequently asked questions