Best Man's Guide: Supporting The Groom

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. The role is usually given to the groom's closest friend or relative, such as a brother. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, helping to choose the groomsmen's attire, delivering a speech at the reception, and keeping the wedding rings safe. The best man also acts as a leader for the groomsmen, making sure everyone is where they need to be and that all duties are carried out. In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man can expect to be involved in suit fittings, the wedding rehearsal, and pre-wedding events such as the engagement party and shower. On the day of the wedding, the best man helps the groom get ready, stands by his side during the ceremony, and dances with the maid of honor during the first guest dance. After the wedding, the best man may be tasked with returning hired items, safe-keeping gifts, and decorating the newlyweds' car.

Help the groom choose and buy/rent formalwear

As the best man, you are the groom's right-hand man and go-to person throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day. One of your main duties will be to help the groom choose and buy or rent formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. Here are some tips to help you with this task:

Discuss the Formalwear with the Couple

Talk to the groom about what style he wants for himself and the groomsmen. Find out if the couple wants everyone to match or coordinate their outfits. Ask about the budget and whether the couple will be paying for the wedding suits or if financial contributions are required from the groomsmen. Communicate this information clearly to the groomsmen so everyone is aware before purchasing or renting their outfits.

Help Choose the Formalwear

Assist the groom in selecting the right formalwear for the wedding. This may involve going to suit shops with the groom and other groomsmen to try on different options. If you are all spread out, you can ask for measurements and share ideas via email or a group chat. Don't be afraid to give your honest opinion and help the groom and groomsmen make the best choice.

Coordinate the Purchase or Rental of Formalwear

Once the style and budget have been decided, it's your job to make sure that each groomsman orders their attire in a timely manner. If you are renting or purchasing as a group, you will need to submit the order, collect payment from everyone, and ensure that all the groomsmen's suits are received and tailored if needed.

Assist with Alterations

One of the often-overlooked duties of the best man is to ensure that the groomsmen's suits are not only received but also properly tailored. Check that all the groomsmen have their suits altered if needed and that they pick up their altered suits in time for the wedding.

Help the Groom Get Ready on the Wedding Day

On the morning of the wedding, be there to help the groom get ready and deal with any last-minute tasks. This includes ensuring the groom's suit is perfect, from the tie to the shoes, and checking for any potential wardrobe malfunctions. You can also help the groom relax and calm any pre-wedding jitters by playing music, having a few drinks, or playing cards or video games together.

By following these tips, you can confidently fulfil your duty as the best man and help the groom and groomsmen look their best for the wedding!

Organise the bachelor party

Organising the bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's a chance to celebrate the groom's last days as a single man and should be tailored to his tastes.

First, the best man should consult the groom to understand what type of bachelor party he wants. Does he want to travel or stay local? Does he want a wild party or something more low-key? The best man should also be mindful of everyone's schedule and budget.

Next, the best man should recruit the other groomsmen to help with planning and logistics. They can also help with recommendations. It's important to involve the groom's friends and family in the planning process, especially if the best man doesn't know them well.

The best man should also be mindful of the budget. A trip to Vegas might sound fun, but if certain groomsmen can't afford it, it's better to plan something more affordable that everyone can attend.

The bachelor party should ideally take place one to three months before the wedding. This gives everyone time to recover and ensures the groom looks his best on the big day.

The best man should also consider fun activities and games for the party and choose a venue. They may also want to plan some funny pranks to play on the groom (nothing that will get him arrested, though!).

Overall, the best man's goal is to plan a bachelor party that the groom will never forget, creating lasting memories for him and his friends.

Be the groom's confidant and emotional support

Being the groom's confidant and emotional support is one of the most important tasks of the best man. Here are some ways to fulfil this duty:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you should be the groom's sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety he may be feeling. Offer reassurance and be a calm presence to keep him focused and alert in the lead-up to the big day. You can also help alleviate some of the groom's stress by assisting with wedding planning admin, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules.

During the Wedding

On the wedding day, the best man should be a relaxed and upbeat presence, especially if the groom is feeling nervous. Play music, and break out some beers or games to help pass the time and keep the groom's mind at ease.

After the Wedding

Even after the wedding, the best man's role as a confidant and emotional support doesn't end. Checking in with the newlyweds after their honeymoon is a thoughtful way to show your continued support.

Hold the wedding rings until the exchange

Holding the wedding rings until the exchange is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure this goes smoothly:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you will need to collect the wedding rings and keep them in a safe place until the ceremony. Make sure you triple-check your pockets for any holes! If there is a ring bearer, you will need to fasten the rings to the pillow they will be carried on.

During the Wedding

If you are the ring bearer, make sure you have the rings to hand and ready for when the couple exchanges them. If not, ensure the ring bearer has the rings before the ceremony begins.

After the Wedding

Once the rings have been exchanged, your responsibility for them is over. However, you may now be tasked with other duties, such as signing the marriage license as a witness, giving a speech, and decorating the getaway car.

Tips

• Keep the rings in a safe place, such as your inner jacket pocket.
• Be aware of where the rings are at all times.
• If you lose the rings, don't panic. Retrace your steps and check the recent places you've been. Inform the couple as soon as possible.

Give a best man's speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of a best man. It is a chance to honour the groom and impart their shared history. The speech should be insightful, entertaining, and keep everyone's attention. It should also offer sincere well-wishes to the newlyweds and be accompanied by lighthearted anecdotes about the groom.

• Start writing the speech early. Don't leave it until the last minute, as it will be a stressful experience.
• Be clear, heartfelt, and appropriate for all guests.
• Speak slowly and pause for laughter.
• Mention everyone who needs to be mentioned.
• If there are multiple best men, come together multiple times to write and practice the speech.
• Run the speech past a trusted person to check the tone is right.
• Be mindful of the audience and avoid any sexual or embarrassing stories that may not be suitable.
• Don't procrastinate when it comes to writing the speech.
• Keep it short.

Frequently asked questions