The Best Man's Guide To Wedding Day Success

The best man is an integral part of a wedding, providing both emotional support and practical help to the groom. The role is typically assigned to the groom's closest friend or family member, but this can vary depending on the couple's dynamics. The best man is the groom's confidant and right-hand man, supporting him throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. From planning the stag do and choosing the groomsmen's attire to giving a speech and keeping the wedding rings safe, the best man has a lot of responsibilities. The role also includes more light-hearted tasks, such as decorating the getaway car and acting as the master of ceremonies. While the specific duties may vary depending on the couple's needs, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the groom's special day runs smoothly.

Planning the bachelor party

Start Planning Early

Begin planning the bachelor party at least three to six months before the wedding. This will give you ample time to coordinate with the groom and finalise the guest list, budget, location, and itinerary.

Finalise the Guest List and Budget

Discuss the guest list with the groom and ensure that all the groomsmen and the groom's close friends and family members are invited. Traditionally, the best man and groomsmen cover the cost of the groom's expenses for the bachelor party, but it is common for all attendees to pay their way and chip in for the groom.

Choose a Date and Location

The bachelor party can take place anywhere from one to three months before the wedding. Popular locations include Miami, Las Vegas, Austin, Chicago, and Scottsdale. Choose a location that suits the groom's interests and the group's budget.

Plan Activities

Organise two to three group outings that align with the groom's interests. This could include golfing, chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, going bowling, or visiting a brewery. Remember to include some downtime in the itinerary as well.

Send Out Invitations

While paper invitations are not necessary, it is important to communicate all the important information to the guests well in advance. Use a group chat to share the date, location, and itinerary, and move the discussion to email when it's time to book travel and accommodations.

Finalise Travel and Accommodations

Book travel and accommodations three to four months before the party. Get confirmation from all guests before booking to avoid any issues with covering the costs. A house rental is often preferable to hotel rooms, as it allows for more bonding time and saves money on meals.

Plan Meals and Snacks

In addition to dining out, stock the rental with easy-to-prepare meals and snacks for guests to enjoy throughout the bachelor party weekend.

Finalise the Itinerary and Share with Guests

About a month before the party, confirm the final guest count and share a detailed itinerary with the group. Include important information such as the hotel name and address, arrival times, and contact information for all attendees.

Add a Surprise Element

Even if the groom is involved in the planning process, add a surprise element to the agenda, such as flying in a friend or arranging an activity that centres around the groom's interests.

Regroup and Say Thanks

After the bachelor party, send a quick thank-you note to the group, and follow up on any outstanding expenses.

Choosing and buying/renting wedding formalwear

As the best man, you'll be responsible for helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding formalwear. This may involve renting or buying suits or tuxedos, and coordinating the process. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Renting vs. Buying

There are several factors to consider when deciding whether to rent or buy formalwear for the wedding:

• Cost: Renting is often more cost-effective, especially if you don't plan on wearing the outfit again. The average rental cost is around $200, while purchasing a new tuxedo can range from $700 to over $1000.
• Style: If you're choosing a trendy style that may look outdated in a few years, renting is a better option. Rental services offer a diverse range of styles and accessories, making it easy to create a cohesive look for the wedding party.
• Usage: If you frequently attend formal events or have a busy season of weddings and formal occasions coming up, buying a tuxedo or suit may be a better investment. This way, you'll always have a tux or suit on hand and can mix and match with different accessories.
• Alterations: Rental services typically include basic alterations to ensure a good fit, but purchased suits can be custom-tailored to your exact measurements.
• Storage: Renting eliminates the need for long-term storage and maintenance. A purchased tux or suit will require regular care and take up space in your closet.

Choosing a Rental Service

If you decide to rent, there are several reputable companies to consider:

• The Black Tux: This company offers both virtual and in-store experiences, with an advanced fit algorithm and free home try-on service.
• Men's Wearhouse: With over 700 locations, Men's Wearhouse provides an extensive selection of brands and sizes, along with an online Fit Evaluator for at-home measurements.
• Generation Tux: This company specializes in virtual fittings, with an advanced fit algorithm, free color swatches, and a free home try-on service.
• Menguin: Menguin's proprietary fit technology takes into account your age, height, weight, and measurements from clothing you already own to determine the best fit. They also offer free swatches and home try-ons.
• Stitch & Tie: This company offers a unique online rental experience, combining virtual styling sessions with in-store stylists and an advanced Fit Finder tool.

Timeline

It's important to begin the rental or purchase process as early as possible to ensure you reserve your preferred styles and allow time for alterations if needed. Most rental companies will send the outfits about 14 days before the event, and you'll have a few days after the wedding to return them.

Other Considerations

When choosing wedding formalwear, it's essential to discuss expectations with the couple, particularly regarding style and budget. Traditionally, the couple pays for the wedding suits or the cost of renting them. However, if financial contributions are required, this should be discussed openly in advance.

Additionally, keep in mind that groomsmen may have different body types and budgets, so it's important to communicate with them as well to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe until it's time for the couple to exchange vows. Here are some tips to ensure the rings are secure on the wedding day:

Before the Wedding

Firstly, the best man should discuss with the couple whether they would like him to be the ring bearer and keep the wedding rings safe ahead of the ceremony. If the couple prefers a younger ring bearer, the best man may still be tasked with keeping the rings safe until the ceremony. In this case, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow and, once the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, the best man will take the rings for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

On the Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the best man should triple-check his pockets to ensure they don't have any holes! The best man should also ensure he has a safe place to store the rings, such as a secure pocket or a box. If the best man is also the ring bearer, he should stand at the altar with the groom, ready to hand over the rings when the couple is ready to exchange them.

During the Ceremony

If the best man is not the ring bearer, he should ensure that the ring bearer has the rings before the ceremony begins. During the ceremony, the best man should stand by the groom's side, ready to step in if needed.

After the Ceremony

After the wedding, the best man may be tasked with returning the rings, along with any hired items, to the couple. Alternatively, the best man may be asked to safely store the wedding rings, along with any gifts and cards, if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately after the wedding.

Signing the marriage license

The best man is the groom's right-hand man at the wedding, usually a close friend or relative. One of the best man's key duties is to sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honour, and hand the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee. The officiant will then send the marriage license to the county clerk's office, and the couple will then receive their official marriage certificate.

The marriage license is typically signed directly after the wedding ceremony. The best man and maid of honour are pulled aside by the officiant to sign the document. In some cases, the marriage license may be signed during the ceremony, with the best man and maid of honour signing the document after the vows and exchange of rings. In certain states, such as Massachusetts, only the officiant signs the marriage license, while in others, like California, the couple signs the license when they apply, and witnesses sign on the day of the wedding.

As the best man, it is important to be aware of the procedure for signing the marriage license, which may vary depending on the location of the wedding. It is also crucial to ensure that the license is signed before the officiant leaves the wedding venue. In addition to signing the marriage license, the best man has other important duties before, during, and after the wedding, such as planning the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen's formalwear, and delivering a speech during the reception.

Giving the best man speech

So, you're the best man! Congratulations! Now, it's time to talk about best man duties and, of course, the best man's speech.

Before the Speech

Firstly, it's worth noting that the best man's speech is just one of many duties that come with the role. In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man is the groom's right-hand man, supporting and assisting the groom in any way possible. This can include helping to choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, coordinating the groomsmen ensembles, and planning the bachelor party.

On the day of the wedding, the best man is often asked to be the ring bearer, keeping the wedding rings safe until it's time to exchange vows. The best man also traditionally stands beside the groom at the altar and may be asked to escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony.

The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. A great speech can be an emotional moment for the couple and the guests.

How to Craft Your Speech

Start by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. This will help you get everything out and give you plenty of material to work with. Then, use a template as a guide to ensure you include all the traditional aspects of a best man's speech.

Opening and Closing Lines

The opening and closing lines of your speech will leave a lasting impression, so make sure they're compelling and memorable. Find an opening line that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone, and end with a closing line that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

What to Include

Share stories, funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that show who the groom is and your relationship with him. Discuss how the couple met and their unique connection, emphasising moments that showcase their bond. Conclude with sincere well-wishes for their future.

Tips for Delivery

Practice your speech as much as possible. Rehearse multiple times to familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow. Practising in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help you refine your delivery. Remember, the more you practice, the more confident you'll become.

It's also a good idea to calm your nerves before giving the speech. Take deep breaths, slow down, and visualise yourself as a great speaker.

Connecting with the Audience

Make sure to connect with the audience by maintaining eye contact, speaking clearly, using hand gestures, and expressing your emotions genuinely.

Timing

While there is no set time limit for speeches, shorter is usually better. Aim for around seven minutes for a well-planned and well-rehearsed speech.

Addressing the Couple

With all the fun stories and things you will be sharing, don't forget to talk directly to the couple and wish them a happy future and life together.

The Toast

Finally, it's time to make the toast. Ask everyone to lift their glasses and say "to the couple" or come up with something clever to say.

Frequently asked questions