The Female Version Of 'Best Man' Explained

A female version of a best man is often referred to as a best woman. She would be considered part of the groomsmen and would typically handle all the duties assigned to the best man, including planning the bachelor party and walking in the processional. The best woman can be included in the bachelor party or the bachelorette party, depending on her preference. She can also choose her wedding attire, ranging from a tuxedo or suit to a dress that matches the colour of the groomsmen's attire.

Titles for a female best man

While the role of the "best man" is traditionally filled by a male friend or family member of the groom, modern weddings are breaking free from gender norms. It is now common for brides and grooms to be accompanied by their favourite people, regardless of gender.

If the groom wants a woman to take on the role of "best man", there are several alternative titles that can be used:

• Best Woman: This is the most popular alternative to "best man". The "best woman" will be part of the groomsmen and will take on the same duties as a best man, including planning the bachelor party and walking in the processional.
• Groomslady/Grooms-person/Groomswoman: These titles are more gender-neutral alternatives to "best man". The groomswoman will still be expected to take on the same duties as a best man.
• Groom's Honour Attendant: A more formal title for the groom's female companion.
• Best Dude: A playful title for a female friend who is one of the "boys".

Ultimately, the title used is up to the groom and their companion to decide. The most important thing is to choose a title that makes both parties comfortable.

Bachelor party or bachelorette party?

If your best woman is best friends with the groom, she might not want to attend dress fittings and bridal showers with strangers. She might prefer to hang out with the guys, and that's totally fine. Likewise, if your man of honour is best friends with the bride, he might prefer to join the bachelorette party.

If you're the one getting married, you could ask your best man or maid of honour what they would prefer. You could also suggest a joint event with your fiancé and your entire wedding party. It's a great way to get everyone together and celebrate.

When it comes to attire, there are no rules. Your best woman might feel most comfortable in a tuxedo or suit, or she might prefer a dress. If she wants to wear a suit, there are female styles made to fit perfectly. She could even wear a dress by the same designer as the bridesmaids, but in a colour that matches the groomsmen. The most important thing is that she feels comfortable and looks like she's part of the wedding party. The same goes for a man of honour—he might opt for a suit that matches the groomsmen, or he might prefer to wear a suit in the same colour as the bridesmaids' dresses.

The most important thing is to talk to your wedding party and decide on terms and attire that everyone is comfortable with. It's your day, so you can break with tradition and do exactly what you want!

Planning the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party as the maid of honor can be a challenging task, but with the right approach and attention to detail, you can pull off an epic celebration for the bride-to-be. Here are some instructive guidelines and tips to help you navigate the process:

Understanding Your Role as the Maid of Honor:

The maid of honor is the bride's closest friend and right-hand woman throughout the wedding planning journey. Your role is to provide emotional support and practical assistance to the bride, ensuring her special day is everything she dreams of. One of your key responsibilities is to coordinate pre-wedding events, including the bachelorette party. It's an honor and a privilege to be chosen for this role, so embrace the challenge and enjoy the process!

Communicate with the Bride:

Effective communication is essential. Discuss the bride's vision for her bachelorette party, including her preferences for the tone, location, activities, and guest list. Does she want a low-key pajama party or an adventurous weekend getaway? Would she prefer cocktails by the pool or dancing at clubs? Understanding her wishes will guide your planning process. Remember to keep an open line of communication throughout, ensuring that you're on the same page and avoiding any last-minute surprises.

Choose the Guest List Carefully:

The guest list for the bachelorette party should include the bride's closest friends, typically bridesmaids, sisters, cousins, and other VIPs. Collaborate with the bride to finalize the roster and ensure that all invited guests are people she wants to celebrate with. This intimate gathering is meant to foster bonding and create cherished memories, so choose the guest list accordingly.

Select an Appropriate Destination:

Based on the bride's preferences and the guest list, research and select a destination that fits the desired vibe. Whether it's a luxe hotel stay, a beach cottage rental, or something else, choose a location that offers the experiences and amenities the bride will enjoy. Consider the group's dynamics and comfort levels when making your decision.

Plan a Classy and Memorable Itinerary:

Curate an itinerary that reflects the bride's interests and personality. For a low-key bride, consider spa sessions, brunches, lawn games, and movie nights. If the bride is more adventurous, plan pool parties, unique craft classes, and nights out. Remember to book accommodations and transportation for the group, and research dining options and entertainment to create a seamless and enjoyable experience. Ensure that any risqué activities stay within the bride's comfort zone, maintaining a classy and indulgent atmosphere.

Handle the Logistics:

As the maid of honor, you'll be responsible for handling the logistics of the bachelorette party. This includes managing the budget, sending invitations, and coordinating travel and accommodation details. Set a realistic budget and ensure everyone understands their financial obligations. Send invitations with all the pertinent details, including location, dress code, and any associated costs. Keep the bride's future mother-in-law and other family members in the loop, especially if they are invited.

Don't Overwhelm the Bride and Guests:

While it's exciting to plan a bachelorette party, avoid overloading the itinerary with too many activities. The focus should be on celebrating the bride, so choose a few meaningful and enjoyable activities that allow for mingling and relaxation. You want the bride and her guests to create lasting memories without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

Be Mindful of Guests' Comfort and Boundaries:

Not everyone will be comfortable with certain activities or have the same financial means. Respect guests' boundaries and comfort levels, and ensure they don't feel pressured into doing anything they're not interested in. Ask each attendee about their expectations and give them the option to opt out of specific activities. Be mindful of sensitive information and keep personal details off social media to respect everyone's privacy.

Final Thoughts:

Planning a bachelorette party as the maid of honor is a rewarding experience. Remember to stay organized, communicate effectively, and prioritize the bride's wishes. With your thoughtful planning, the bachelorette party will be an unforgettable celebration, creating lasting memories for the bride and her closest friends. Now, go ahead and start turning that dream bachelorette party into a reality!

What to wear

The female equivalent of a best man is often referred to as the "best woman", though other titles include "groomswoman", "grooms-person", "groomslady", or "groom's honour attendant".

Now, what to wear?

The best woman should wear whatever makes her feel comfortable. Typically, best women opt for a female tuxedo or suit, matching the style and colour of the other groomsmen. Alternatively, if the best woman is close to the bride, she could wear an outfit similar to the bridesmaids, or a dress that matches the colour of the groomsmen's suits. Accessories can also be used to coordinate with the groomsmen, or the maid of honour. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits with wine-coloured accessories, the best woman could wear a navy dress with burgundy shoes.

Group photos

If the best woman chooses to stand with the groomsmen, she can wear an outfit that coordinates with the groomsmen's attire. This could be a female-style tuxedo or suit in a matching colour or with complementary accessories. Alternatively, she could wear a dress in a colour that matches the groomsmen's suits. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits with wine-coloured accessories, the best woman could wear a navy dress with burgundy shoes.

On the other hand, if the best woman prefers to stand with the bridesmaids, she can wear an outfit that coordinates with their attire. This could be a dress in the same style and colour as the bridesmaids' dresses or an outfit in a complementary colour. If the bridesmaids are wearing maroon dresses, the best woman could wear a maroon suit or a dress in a different style but the same colour.

Regardless of where the best woman stands, it is important to communicate this clearly to the photographer beforehand. This will ensure that they are included in all the right group photos and that there is no confusion on the day.

In terms of posing, the best woman should be positioned according to the couple's preference and what looks best aesthetically. The photographer can provide guidance on this, but ultimately, the most important thing is that the best woman feels comfortable and celebrated for their special role in the wedding.

• Discuss the outfit choice with the best woman well in advance to ensure they have enough time to find or tailor their chosen attire.
• Consider the weather and venue when deciding on the outfit, especially if the wedding is outdoors or in a location with specific dress requirements.
• If the best woman chooses to wear a dress, she can add a boutonniere to match the groomsmen's or a bouquet to match the bridesmaids' flowers.
• For a fun twist, the best woman could hold a "Best Woman" sign or prop in some of the photos to emphasise their unique role.
• Encourage the best woman to be themselves and enjoy the moment. Group photos should capture the joy and love shared between the wedding party and the couple.

Remember, the most important thing is to celebrate the couple's closest friends and family, regardless of gender. By including a best woman in the group photos, you are embracing a modern and inclusive approach to wedding traditions.

Frequently asked questions