Lyla Dejesus
A ring bearer is a cherished and adorable part of any wedding ceremony. Typically, a young child between the ages of three and eight, the ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. While the role of the ring bearer is not necessary to get the couple formally hitched, their presence adds a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding.
The ring bearer usually carries the rings on a pillow or in a box, though some couples opt for more creative approaches, such as attaching the rings to a bouquet or placing them in a briefcase marked ring security. In most cases, the ring bearer will hand the rings to the best man or officiant once they reach the altar, and then stand with the rest of the wedding party or sit down with their parents.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age | Between 3 and 8 years old |
| Relationship to the couple | Close relatives or friends of the couple, such as nieces, nephews, or children of close friends |
| Items carried | Rings, pillows, signs, boxes, briefcases, teddy bears, pouches, trays, treasure chests, or swords |
What You'll Learn
The ring bearer's role and history
The role of the ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. They are usually a young child, typically between the ages of three and eight, and are often close relatives or friends of the couple. The ring bearer walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and hands the rings to the officiant or best man at the altar. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding.
The tradition of the ring bearer is believed to date back to ancient Egypt, when an adult would carry precious gems and jewels to the altar on a decorative pillow. In the medieval era, a person would carry the ring on a pillow so that wealthy families could display their wealth, as pillows were rare and considered a symbol of riches. Before the introduction of pillows, the ring would be presented on the tip of a sword.
Today, the ring bearer is often a young boy, but modern weddings have shown that there are no steadfast rules when it comes to choosing a ring bearer. The role can be performed by girls, adults, or even pets. The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party and appropriate for the weather and venue conditions.
While the most traditional method for the ring bearer to carry the rings is on a pillow, some couples opt for boxes or briefcases marked "ring security". It is common for the ring bearer to carry fake rings, with the best man or officiant holding the real wedding bands.
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What the ring bearer carries
The ring bearer is a cherished and adorable part of any wedding ceremony. The role is symbolic and adds a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding. The ring bearer is usually a young boy, but modern weddings have shown that there are no steadfast rules when it comes to choosing a ring bearer. Girls, adults, and pets can also be ring bearers.
The ring bearer is tasked with getting the wedding rings down the aisle so that the couple can exchange them during their vows. In a traditional wedding procession, the ring bearer comes down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and before the flower girl, who precedes the bride. The ring bearer usually carries the rings on a pillow or in a box, but some couples opt for more creative ways for the ring bearer to transport the rings, such as in a briefcase marked "ring security" or a small treasure chest.
Whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or not is up to the couple. Some couples choose to give the ring bearer fake rings, so they are not worried about losing them during the ceremony. If the couple decides to entrust the ring bearer with the real rings, it is best to ask the wedding planner or a member of the wedding party to hand them to the ring bearer right before the ceremony begins.
In addition to the rings, the ring bearer may also carry a sign, such as ""Here Comes the Bride" or "Ring Security". The ring bearer may also carry other items, such as a teddy bear, vow books, or a basket.
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Real vs. fake rings
When it comes to the rings that the ring bearer carries down the aisle, there are two schools of thought: those who prefer the ring bearer to carry real rings and those who opt for fake rings. Here are some insights and considerations for both options.
Real Rings
Chosen by couples who trust the ring bearer, typically an older child or a teenager, this option is preferred by those who want to stick to tradition. Some couples also feel that the ring bearer, especially if he is a family member, will be more honoured by being entrusted with the real rings. To minimise the risk of losing the rings, couples often hand over the rings to the ring bearer just before the ceremony and secure the rings to the pillow with a ribbon.
Fake Rings
The more popular option, fake rings are chosen by couples who want to play it safe and avoid any potential disasters. Fake rings can be easily purchased from stores like Walmart, Forever 21, Etsy, Michaels Crafts, and Amazon, or even borrowed from someone else's jewellery collection. This option is especially useful for beach weddings or weddings with long aisles, as the ring bearer can drop the fake rings without causing any stress or delay to the ceremony. The best man or maid of honour typically holds the real rings in their pocket, ready for the exchange of vows.
Creative Alternatives to Rings
Some couples choose to forgo rings altogether and opt for creative alternatives for the ring bearer to carry down the aisle. These include:
- A sign with a fun message like "I'm just here for the cake" or "Has anyone seen the rings?"
- A lockbox or briefcase for a ring bearer dressed as a "security guard"
- A bouquet of flowers with the rings tied to the stems
- A dish or ornament engraved with a meaningful quote
- A piece of literature with a secret compartment for the rings
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Attire for the ring bearer
The ring bearer is usually a child, often between the ages of three and eight, and one of the youngest members of the wedding party. The wedding dress code will largely inform the ring bearer's outfit, depending on the level of formality required. While a black-tie affair will require a tuxedo and dress shoes, for something more casual you can opt for a button-down or polo shirt.
Classic ring bearer outfit options include tuxedos, suspenders, and bow ties, but couples are entirely free to make their own rules when it comes to ring bearer attire. For instance, a beach wedding might call for a more relaxed outfit, such as a short-sleeved oxford shirt paired with shorts.
- J.Crew Boys' Ludlow Suit Jacket in Seersucker: A sweet seersucker suit jacket is perfect for a preppy summer wedding.
- Brooks Brothers Boys Junior One-Button Tuxedo Jacket: This dapper tuxedo style is an instant classic. Pair it with a bow tie for a black-tie wedding.
- Andy & Evan Little Boy's Chambray Suit: Blue linen is a breezy update to this classic two-piece suit. It's a softer take on suiting, making it perfect for a casual summer wedding.
- Banana Republic The Linen Western Shirt: This lightweight linen shirt has just a hint of western flair, making it perfect for any western-inspired weddings. Keep to the theme with a leather cowboy boot, or pair it with linen trousers and boat shoes for a laid-back look.
- Maisonette Bailene Marcel Baby Boy Set: Baby blue linen suspenders paired with a white linen shirt make this set the perfect beach wedding attire.
- Ralph Lauren Boys' Cotton Bodysuit & Linen Overall Set: This light green onesie features a sweet Peter Pan collar and piping. It's a great option for anyone looking for something a bit more casual than your typical ring bearer suit.
- River Island Mini Boys Pink 4-Piece Tailored Suit: This four-piece suit makes dressing your ring bearer easy. It includes trousers, a waistcoat, a button-down, and a bow tie.
- Noralee Sebastian Blazer: Linen is a stylish option for any celebration, and this natural-colored blazer is a seasonless wardrobe classic.
- Nordstrom Kids' Bodysuit, Shorts & Bow Tie Set: This bodysuit set is a comfortable and stylish option for a baby ring bearer.
It is customary for the ring bearer's parents to pay for their child's outfit and accessories, and it is thoughtful for the couple to give the ring bearer a gift as a token of appreciation.
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The ring bearer's age
The age of a ring bearer is usually between three and eight years old. This is to ensure the child is mature enough to handle the role, but not too old to be uninterested or self-conscious. However, the age is not set in stone, and some sources suggest the age range can be anywhere from four to twelve years old.
If you choose a child younger than three, it is a good idea to have a parent escort them down the aisle. If the child is ten years old or older, you may want to consider giving them a junior groomsman role instead, which includes more responsibility and involvement in pre-wedding events.
Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide the age of their ring bearer, and it is more important that the chosen person will enjoy the role.
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Frequently asked questions
A ring bearer usually carries a pillow or ring box with the wedding rings tied to it. However, this is not required and some couples opt for a briefcase, bouquet, or a sign instead.
It is up to the couple to decide whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or not. It is recommended to base this decision on the child's age and maturity level.
Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight years old. This age range ensures the child is mature enough to handle the role. However, there is no strict rule and the ring bearer can be older or younger depending on their ability to handle the responsibility.
Ring bearers are typically young boys that are close to the couple, such as nephews, children of close friends or family members, or the child of the maid of honor or best man. However, modern weddings have shown that there are no steadfast rules and the ring bearer can be a girl, an adult, or even a beloved family pet.
The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the rest of the wedding party and match the level of formality. It is important to consider the child's comfort and the weather conditions when choosing their outfit.
