Rhiannon Hendricks
The wedding processional refers to the group of people walking down the aisle in a specific order to mark the beginning of a wedding ceremony. The processional often includes the wedding party, flower girls, ring bearers, and the bride and groom and their parents. The flower girl and ring bearer traditionally precede the bride down the aisle, but there are several options for their placement in the processional order.
One option is to have the flower girl and ring bearer enter before the rest of the wedding party. This can be a good choice if there are concerns about young children not making it down the aisle, as it allows the adults to follow them. Another option is to have the flower girl and ring bearer enter immediately before the bride, which is more traditional. A third option is to split them up, with the ring bearer entering before the wedding party and the flower girl entering after.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who walks down the aisle | The flower girl(s) and ring bearer(s) |
| When they walk | Before the bride, after the wedding party, or split up (rarely done) |
| What they carry | The ring bearer carries the wedding rings (or decoys) on a pillow. The flower girl carries a basket of petals, which she scatters as she walks, or a posy of flowers |
| Who they walk with | If they are toddlers, they can walk with a parent. If they are older, they can walk with each other. |
| How to prepare them | Explain their duties, show them what to do, have a private run-through, tell them about the audience, and emphasise the importance of their role |
What You'll Learn
The flower girl and ring bearer should be at least four years old
When it comes to the recessional, there are several options for where the flower girl and ring bearer can be placed in the processional order. The first option is to have them enter before the second partner's party. This means they will walk down the aisle ahead of everyone else, and then the members of the second partner's party will each take their turn. The second option is to have the kids enter immediately before the second partner. In this case, each member of the second partner's party goes down the aisle one by one, and then the flower girl and ring bearer make their entrance. The third option is to split them up, with the ring bearer entering before and the flower girl entering after.
Now, onto the question of age. The ideal age for flower girls and ring bearers is generally considered to be between four or five and eight or ten years old. At this age, children are more likely to be able to understand and follow directions, and they are less likely to be too nervous or skittish. Younger children, such as those under four, may struggle to perform the duties required of a flower girl or ring bearer. They may also be more prone to tantrums, crying, and stage fright. However, if you have younger children you want to include, there are ways to make it work. For example, very young flower girls may wear flower crowns instead of throwing petals, and young ring bearers can carry faux rings. Additionally, children under four will still be adorable, even if they don't make it all the way down the aisle!
If you're looking for a more mature flower girl or ring bearer, you can consider assigning the roles to older children, teenagers, or even adults. Grandparents, in particular, can be a heartwarming choice and are a great option if you're having an adults-only wedding.
Who Walks the Ring Bearer Down the Aisle?
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The ring bearer delivers the rings
The ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight. The child walks down the aisle, often at the same time as the flower girl, and delivers the wedding rings to the best man or wedding officiant.
There are a few options for when the ring bearer enters the ceremony. One option is for the ring bearer to enter before the flower girl, leading the way for the rest of the wedding party. Another option is for the ring bearer to enter immediately before the bride, after the rest of the wedding party has made their entrance. A third option is to split up the flower girl and ring bearer, with the ring bearer entering before the groom's party and the flower girl entering after the bride's party.
When the ring bearer reaches the altar, they hand the rings to the best man or wedding officiant. The ring bearer can then sit with their parents or stand at the altar with the rest of the wedding party, depending on their age.
It is up to the couple to decide whether the ring bearer carries the real wedding rings or fake rings. If the ring bearer is very young, the couple may opt for decoy rings or an empty pillow or box. Alternatively, the ring bearer can carry a decorative sign instead of the rings.
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The flower girl scatters petals
The flower girl is usually a member of the bride or groom's extended family or a friend, and is usually between three and ten years old. Her outfit often resembles a smaller version of the bride's wedding dress.
Traditionally, the flower girl carried a basket of rose petals, but today, she may carry wrapped candies, confetti, a single bloom, a ball of flowers, or bubbles instead. The petals can be real or artificial, and come in a variety of colours, each with their own meaning. For example, red or pink petals represent love and sweetness, while green petals stand for youth and happiness.
Before the wedding, it is important to prepare the flower girl for her role. Explain her duties and show her how to gently toss the petals on the floor, rather than at people! Consider having a private run-through if you think she needs extra time to practice. Let her know that many people will be watching her, and that she will do a great job.
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The children's seating arrangements
Seating Arrangements for Different Age Groups
The best place to seat children depends on their ages. Older kids may prefer to sit together at a dedicated kids' table, providing them with age-appropriate activities to keep them occupied. On the other hand, younger toddlers and infants should sit next to their parents. If in doubt, it is recommended to send a quick message to the parents to confirm their preference.
Seating Arrangements for Parents with Young Children
When seating parents with young children, it is advisable to seat them at the heads of tables to allow room for high chairs or prams. This ensures easy access and manoeuvrability for the parents.
Seating Arrangements for Divorced Parents
In the case of divorced parents, it is essential to handle the seating arrangements with tact and diplomacy to keep the peace. If the divorced parents get along, they can share the front row. However, if there is strain or bitterness between them, it is advisable to separate them with a careful and well-thought-out plan. In such cases, the mother (and her spouse, if remarried) can sit in the front row, while the father sits a few rows behind with his spouse and their family members.
Seating Arrangements for Widowed Parents
Widowed parents may prefer to have someone by their side during the ceremony, and it is perfectly acceptable to do so. Their companion is treated as an honoured guest.
Seating Arrangements for Immediate Family
Several rows on either side of the centre aisle are typically reserved for the immediate families of the couple. These guests may be provided with pew cards to show their usher, or the usher can keep a list of guests to be seated in these rows.
Seating Arrangements for Same-Sex Couples
At same-sex weddings, the couple may assign each family a side, seating guests on "Bill's side" or "Kevin's side", for example. If the site has two aisles, the congregation sits in the centre section, with the bride's or groom's parents on either side.
Seating Arrangements for Mixed Groups
When it comes to seating arrangements for groups of guests, it is recommended to group them according to their relationships and interests. For example, seat college friends together so they can catch up, or put a friend attending alone at a table with strong conversationalists to make them feel comfortable. While it can be a nice idea to mix in a few new faces, people generally feel more comfortable when they know some of their table companions.
Seating Arrangements for Singles
It is generally advised to avoid a "singles" table, as this can make guests feel uncomfortable. Instead, sprinkle singles in with their married or couple friends to give them a sense of familiarity and comfort.
Seating Arrangements for Guests with Disabilities
When considering seating arrangements, it is crucial to take into account guests with disabilities or other needs. For instance, older guests should not be seated too close to loud music, but they should have a clear line of sight to the dance floor. Ensure that guests in wheelchairs have clear and easy access to the dance floor and the exit, and that their chair at the table is removed in advance.
Seating Arrangements for the Wedding Party
The bridal table, also known as the "head table," is typically centrally located, allowing the couple to look out at their family and friends. Traditionally, the bride and groom sit in the middle, with the bride seated to the groom's right. The best man sits next to the bride, and the maid of honour sits next to the groom. However, same-sex couples or non-traditional bridal parties can seat this table however they prefer.
Seating Arrangements for the Parents of the Couple
The parents of the couple are usually seated at the next best table with the best view of the newlyweds. Traditionally, both sets of parents are seated together. Alternatively, each set of parents may prefer to have their own table, allowing them to sit with their immediate family and close friends.
Final Thoughts
Creating a wedding seating chart can be a daunting task, but with careful planning and consideration, it is possible to make everyone happy. Start early, use digital tools for mapping out the floor plan, and be prepared to accommodate last-minute changes.
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Rehearsing the procession
Choose the Right Age Group
It is recommended that children in the wedding party should be no younger than four as they need to understand and follow directions. While younger children can be adorable, they may not be able to follow the procession as expected.
Explain Their Duties
It is important to explain to the flower girl and ring bearer what their duties are. The flower girl usually walks down the aisle, tossing rose petals. Ensure she knows to throw the petals on the ground and not at people! The ring bearer typically walks down the aisle carrying a pillow with faux wedding rings attached.
Demonstrate Proper Technique
Show them the correct way to perform their duties. For example, demonstrate how to gently toss petals on the floor instead of hurling them. Similarly, the ring bearer should be taught to hold the pillow carefully, as if it were a delicate cake.
Private Rehearsal
Consider scheduling a private rehearsal for the flower girl and ring bearer if you think they need extra practice. A private run-through can be less overwhelming for young children, and they will appreciate the extra attention.
Prepare Them for the Audience
If this is their first time performing in front of an audience, let them know what to expect. Inform them that many people will be watching, so they are not caught off guard. Boost their confidence by assuring them that they will do a great job and that you are proud of them.
Backup Plan
Always have a backup plan in case of stage fright or unexpected behaviour. Discuss this with the couple in advance and decide on a course of action if the flower girl or ring bearer needs assistance during the procession.
Plan Their Entrance and Exit
Decide on the order of the procession and communicate this to the wedding party. There are various options, including having the children enter before or after the wedding party, or splitting their entrance. Also, determine where they will go once they reach the front and where they will be seated.
Ring Bearer's Role
Discuss whether the ring bearer will carry the actual wedding rings or decoys. If the child is too young, consider alternatives such as an elaborate pillow or an ornate box without the rings. Another option is to have the ring bearer carry a sign instead of the rings.
Flower Girl's Role
If the flower girl is scattering petals, consider the timing of her entrance. If she goes before the bridesmaids, the petals may be swept off the aisle by the time the bride walks down. Adjust the timing accordingly if the bride wants a flower petal carpet for her entrance.
Transportation
If the flower girl and ring bearer are too small to walk, plan for their transportation. You can use a wagon or have someone carry them. Ensure there are no stairs on the procession route if using a wagon. Also, consider the feelings of the person carrying the child and whether they are comfortable with this responsibility.
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Frequently asked questions
The flower girl walks down the aisle, often tossing rose petals. The ring bearer, on the other hand, walks down the aisle carrying a pillow with faux wedding rings attached.
There are three options: 1) The kids enter before Partner 2's party; 2) The kids enter immediately before Partner 2; 3) The ring bearer enters before, and the flower girl enters after.
Flower girls and ring bearers are typically between the ages of three and eight. Younger kids may not understand the processional and are more likely to act out.
If the child is too young to walk, consider having them ride in a wagon or be carried by a parent or the flower girl/ring bearer.
It's important to prepare the children beforehand and explain what they should expect. You can also have someone hold a treat at the front of the aisle to distract them or offer a bribe for good behaviour.
