Ring Bearer, Grown Up

The role of a ring bearer is typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight, but the age range can extend up to twelve. The child walks down the aisle, often with a flower girl, carrying the wedding ring on a pillow. However, there is no age restriction on who can be a ring bearer, and adults or even pets can take on this role. While the term ring bearer is commonly used for both male and female children, some people prefer alternative titles like ring security, ring princess, or ring maiden. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide who they want to include in their wedding party and what role they will play.

What to call an older ring bearer

The role of a ring bearer is typically given to young children, usually between the ages of three and eight, or four and twelve. However, there is no set rule about the age of a ring bearer, and some people choose to have older ring bearers, including adults and even pets.

If you are looking for an alternative title for an older ring bearer, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, you could simply refer to them as part of the wedding party, without a specific title. Alternatively, you could use a title such as "Man of Honour", "Bridesman", "Ring Man", "Ring Officer", or "Ring Security". For female ring bearers, suggestions include "Ring Princess", "Ring Maiden", "Ring Fairy", or "Keeper of the Rings".

In terms of presentation, while it is traditional for ring bearers to carry the rings on a pillow, this is not required. Alternative options include carrying the rings in a box, on a book, or on flowers. For older ring bearers, carrying the rings in a pocket or on a platter could be more appropriate.

Alternatives to a ring bearer pillow

While the role of a ring bearer is typically given to young children, there are no rules about the age of a ring bearer. If you want your 19-year-old brother or 30-year-old friend to be a ring bearer at your wedding, you can certainly go ahead with that. You can choose to call them a ring bearer, or opt for other titles like "Man of Honour", "Bridesman", "Ring Man", "Ring Officer", or "Ring Security".

If you're looking for alternatives to a ring bearer pillow, here are some unique options that will add a creative touch to your wedding:

Rustic Charm

For a rustic or woodland wedding, consider using a wooden box filled with moss, a birch slice with moss, or a framed glass box filled with moss. A wood slice with nail and yarn hearts adds a trendy and bold touch, while a burnt wood slice with antlers and twine brings a rustic charm.

Vintage Vibes

For a vintage-inspired wedding, a faux bird nest decorated with blooms and greenery, an antique teacup with a saucer, or a vintage pocket watch are elegant choices. A rustic and shabby chic box with burlap and twine, or an antique book with a hidden compartment, add a touch of old-world romance.

Modern Minimalism

If you're going for a modern or minimalist wedding, a clear acrylic box filled with white blooms or a simple round wooden box with calligraphy will make a stylish statement.

Beachside Bliss

Tying the knot on the beach or coast? A metal seashell with a ribbon or a starfish carrying the rings will perfectly complement the seaside setting.

Creative Touches

Want to add a playful twist? Opt for a small heart-shaped journal with your favourite quotes, a pink retro car with a veil, or a stuffed pillow shaped like your favourite pet.

Remember, the alternatives are endless, and you can always personalise these ideas to match your wedding theme and décor.

How to ask someone to be your ring bearer

While the role of ring bearer is traditionally given to children, there is no reason why you can't ask an older friend or family member to take on this role. If you are looking for creative ways to ask someone to be your ring bearer, here are some ideas:

Ask in Creative Ways

If you want to ask in a fun and creative way, try one of these options:

• Propose with a ring pop: Buy a ring-shaped candy pop, unwrap it, and put it in a box. Write "Will you be our ring bearer?" inside the box. Wrap it up like a gift and give it to the person. This is a fun way to involve a sweet treat and associate helping you with the joy of candy.
• Make them a "Be our ring bearer" puzzle: Write "Will you be our ring bearer?" on a piece of cardboard or paper and cut it into fun shapes to create a puzzle. Give the puzzle to the person and tell them it contains a special message. Decorate the puzzle elaborately to make it more engaging.
• Take them out for a special day: Plan a fun day or afternoon with the person, such as going to the park, watching a movie, or buying them a fancy dinner. After you've had some fun, pop the big question. This way, you create a memorable experience associated with your request.
• Ring Protection Agent: Instead of asking them to be a ring bearer, which may not be clear to younger children, invite them to be in charge of protecting the rings. Give them a special shirt or badge that says "Ring Protection Agent." You can even provide them with cool sunglasses or a walkie-talkie to make it more fun.

Important Considerations

• Ask the person's parents first: If the ring bearer is a child, it is essential to get the parents' permission and ensure they are comfortable with the time and financial commitments involved. Discuss who will pay for the ring bearer's outfit and accessories.
• Choose a confident and capable child: If selecting a child as your ring bearer, pick one who is confident and capable of walking down the aisle without getting distracted or wandering off. Shy kids may not be comfortable in front of a crowd of wedding attendees.
• Consider the age of the ring bearer: Traditionally, ring bearers are between three and eight years old. If you choose a child under three, there is a higher chance of them crying, being distracted, or needing assistance. Older kids may be less interested, and you may lose the "cute little kid" charm.
• Provide a gift: It is a thoughtful gesture to give a small gift to your ring bearer, especially if they are a child. This could be something related to the wedding, like a ring bearer puzzle or card, or a personalized item that matches their interests.

Ring bearer outfit ideas

While the role of ring bearer is typically given to young children, there are no rules about the age of a ring bearer. If you want to include an older ring bearer in your wedding, there are plenty of outfit ideas to choose from.

For a formal black-tie wedding, the ring bearer can wear a tuxedo or suit. If you're having a casual beach wedding, the ring bearer can wear a seersucker suit, suspenders with khaki shorts, or a white button-down shirt and linen pants. A rustic country wedding could call for a bow tie and suspenders set, jeans, and a button-down flannel shirt.

If you're looking for something more traditional, a small suit or tuxedo is a classic choice for a ring bearer. You can add a boutonniere to match the groomsmen's tuxedos. For a more casual look, the ring bearer can wear suspenders and a bow tie with a dress shirt or a tuxedo shirt.

If you want to steer away from the traditional pillow, the ring bearer could carry the rings in a small box or on a book. They could also carry a sign, like "RING SECURITY" or "Has Anyone Seen the Rings?!"

Who pays for the ring bearer's outfit?

The ring bearer is a wedding party role usually given to young children who are close to the couple. Typically, the ring bearer is between the ages of three and eight. However, the role can be performed by an older child or even an adult.

The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the wedding party's attire and match the level of formality. While the wedding party usually pays for their own attire, the ring bearer's parents are expected to pay for their child's outfit. If the couple wishes, they may offer to purchase the ring bearer's outfit as a gift, especially if the parents of the child are already paying for other expenses, such as dresses for bridesmaids or flower girls. It is not considered rude to offer, and it is a thoughtful gesture, but it is not required or expected.

If the couple is working within a specific budget, they may give the ring bearer's parents a few outfit options to choose from within a certain price range. Alternatively, the couple may opt to purchase an accessory or part of the outfit as a memento for the ring bearer.

In summary, while the ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for the cost of the outfit, the couple may choose to offer to pay or contribute as a thoughtful gesture.

Frequently asked questions