Choosing Your Flower Girl And Ring Bearer

When it comes to asking your flower girl and ring bearer to be part of your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to ask the child's parents for their blessing and ensure they are comfortable with the time and financial commitments involved. This should be done as early as possible to give the family ample time to prepare. While it's exciting to pop the question to the children, it's best to wait until a month or two before the wedding or when you need to order their attire. To make the occasion special, consider including a gift and a proposal card when asking the children. It's also a good idea to explain who else is involved and let them know if there will be multiple flower girls or ring bearers to avoid any jealousy.

Ask the child's parents first

Asking the child's parents first is the most important step in the process of choosing a flower girl or ring bearer. It is crucial to ensure that the parents are comfortable with the time and financial commitments involved. The parents will need to make travel plans and arrangements for their child's participation, so it is best to give them as much notice as possible. While it is exciting to pop the question to the children, it is recommended to wait until a month or two before the wedding or when the attire needs to be ordered. This is because children will likely be excited and asking them to wait too long can be difficult.

When asking the parents, it is important to be clear about the expectations and responsibilities, including the attire, to ensure they know what is involved. The child's parents are typically responsible for the child's attire, so it is essential to be upfront about any expectations and give them options at different price points. If you have specific ideas about what you want the flower girl or ring bearer to wear, be sure to discuss both the budget and outfit ideas with the parents. This will ensure that everyone is clear on who is paying for and approving the attire.

In addition, it is important to understand your wedding plans and how the child's participation will fit into those plans. For example, if the child's parents will also be in the wedding party, it is important to communicate clearly with them about logistics and photos. If you are having a child-free wedding, it is necessary to discuss childcare arrangements for after the ceremony, as the young attendants may not be invited to the reception. It is also a good idea to anticipate questions from other parents about whether their children can attend.

By asking the child's parents first, you can ensure that you have considered all the necessary logistics and that the parents are comfortable with the commitment. This step is crucial in ensuring a smooth and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Explain who else is involved

It is important to explain to the child who else is involved in the wedding party. This is especially important if there is more than one flower girl or ring bearer, as children can get jealous if they think they are the only ones with a special role. It is also important to explain who else will be in the wedding party so that the child's parents can understand the logistics and expectations of the day.

If the child's parents are also in the wedding party, make sure to be clear about this, as parents may otherwise feel left out. If the wedding is child-free, it is important to discuss childcare for after the ceremony, as young attendants may not be invited to the reception. It is also a good idea to prepare for other parents to ask if their children can attend.

If the couple has children, it is a sweet way to include them in the wedding as a family, and the photos will be cherished for a lifetime. However, if the couple would prefer to be child-free for the night, they will need to arrange childcare in advance.

Flower girls and ring bearers are usually children of those closest to the couple. They might be the children of the maid of honour or best man, the couple's nephews or nieces, or children of other friends or family members.

Give the parents enough notice

Asking your littlest attendants to be a part of your wedding is a fun and exciting part of the planning process. But it's important to give the parents of your flower girl and ring bearer enough notice. This is because there may be financial and time commitments involved for the parents, such as travel plans or attire for the children. It's also a good idea to give them a heads-up about what the expectations and responsibilities will be, so they can make an informed decision.

While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to how much notice you should give, the general consensus is that the earlier, the better. Event planner Nora Sheils recommends asking the parents as early as possible, especially if they will need to make travel plans. This will also give them enough time to source and purchase the child's outfit, which is usually the parents' responsibility.

However, it's worth noting that you shouldn't ask the children themselves too far in advance. A few months before the wedding is a good timeframe, as waiting too long can be torture for excited kids! If the children are younger than three, you may even want to wait until closer to the wedding so they have a higher chance of understanding their role.

To ensure a smooth process, be sure to communicate clearly with the parents and give them as much information as possible. Discuss the attire, including budget and outfit ideas, and let them know about any other flower girls or ring bearers to avoid any jealousy. It's also a thoughtful gesture to include a small gift or card for the children when you pop the question.

Don't ask the children too early

Asking children to be part of your wedding party is a fun tradition. However, it's important not to ask them too early. While it's a good idea to give the parents as much notice as possible, it's best to wait until a few months before the wedding to ask the children. This is because children get excited, and asking them to wait too long can be torturous. Over a year is a long time to wait if you're five!

If the children are younger than three, you don't need to worry about asking them at all. Consider waiting until closer to the wedding to let them know, so they have a higher chance of understanding what the role means.

It's also worth noting that the parents of the children will likely be responsible for their attire, so be upfront with what the expectations and responsibilities will be so they know what's involved with the dress-up part of the job.

Additionally, if you are having more than one flower girl or ring bearer, let them know. Kids can get jealous, especially if they thought they were the only special one. It's always a sweet gesture to include a cute "ask", such as a ring pop or another item the child may enjoy.

Include a gift when proposing

When asking your littlest attendants to be part of your wedding, it's a good idea to include a gift when proposing. This can be a fun way to involve children in the wedding party and make them feel special. Here are some tips and ideas for including a gift when proposing to your flower girl and ring bearer:

Ask the Parents First

First, it's important to consult the child's parents and ensure they are comfortable with the time and financial commitments involved. The parents are typically responsible for the child's attire, so be upfront about your expectations and responsibilities. It's also a good idea to let them know if there will be multiple flower girls or ring bearers to avoid any jealousy.

Choose a Meaningful Gift

When selecting a gift, consider the child's interests and age. Here are some ideas for different age groups:

• Younger flower girls: Pop the question with flowers, pretty shoes, a tiara, a bracelet, a hair clip, or a matching flower girl dress for a doll. You can also offer a fun activity, like a spa day for preteens.
• Older flower girls: Offer a fun bonding activity as a gift, such as an adult spa day for preteens. This can be a great way to include them in adult activities in an appropriate way.
• Younger ring bearers: Gift them matching shoes or attire that coordinates with the groomsmen. You can also give them a personalised baseball bat, puzzle, or game that matches their interests.
• Older ring bearers: Consider a two-part gift to create a memorable experience. For example, take them to a game of their favourite sports star and give them an autographed ball on the wedding day.

Include a Card

Along with the gift, include a proposal card with fun wedding-themed illustrations, your wedding date, and the big question. This will make the proposal more memorable and special.

Timing of the Proposal

While it's a good idea to ask the parents as early as possible, wait to share the news with the children until a month or two before the wedding or when you need to order their attire. This will ensure they don't have to wait too long after receiving the exciting news!

Frequently asked questions