The Best Man's Guide To Wedding Roles And Responsibilities

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante. He is usually a close friend or relative, and his role involves a lot of responsibility. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, helping to choose the groom's and groomsmen's attire, delivering a speech, and providing emotional support. He may also be in charge of organising a gift for the groom, keeping the wedding rings safe, and acting as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side. The best man is also expected to attend pre-wedding events and be a model wedding guest.

Planning the bachelor party

Step 1: Consult with the Groom

Before you start planning, it's essential to consult with the groom to understand his preferences and wishes. Discuss the type of bachelor party he envisions, whether he wants to travel or stay local, and the budget and schedule of the other groomsmen. It's also important to check with the groom about any definite no-goes and the guest list, ensuring you don't make any assumptions.

Step 2: Pick a Date

Pick two or three potential dates for the bachelor party and consult with the groom and the rest of the groomsmen to find a date that works for everyone. It's crucial to consider everyone's schedules and budgets to ensure the highest attendance possible. Try to plan the bachelor party at least a month or up to three months before the wedding to give everyone time to recover and for any bruises or hangovers to fade away.

Step 3: Choose a Location and Activities

When choosing a location, consider the groom's preferences and the budgets of the groomsmen. While a trip to Vegas or an epic weekend in a foreign country might sound appealing, it's important to ensure that the location is affordable for everyone. Involve the other groomsmen in the planning process and delegate tasks such as booking separate activities, organising t-shirts, and checking that venues permit stag parties.

Step 4: Send Out Invitations

Create a guest list based on the groom's preferences and send out invitations to the groomsmen and any other guests. Be mindful of people's budgets and try to accommodate different financial situations. You can set up a group chat or email chain to facilitate communication and send out invitations.

Step 5: Plan the Details

Plan the itinerary for the bachelor party, including activities, meals, and any other special touches. If you're staying local, you might organise a night out at a club, a day of golf, or a private dinner. If you're travelling, look for activities and experiences unique to the location. Don't forget to include some personalised touches and pranks to make the event memorable for the groom.

Step 6: Finalise Logistics

In the lead-up to the bachelor party, finalise all the logistics, including travel arrangements, accommodation, and any necessary reservations. Confirm all the details with the venues and activity providers, and ensure that everyone attending has the necessary information.

Step 7: Be Mindful of the Groom's Preferences

Throughout the planning process, it's essential to keep the groom's preferences and personality in mind. The bachelor party should reflect his interests and comfort level. Avoid planning anything that might make him feel uncomfortable, and always prioritise his wishes.

Step 8: Have Fun!

Remember, the bachelor party is meant to be a fun and memorable celebration for the groom and the groomsmen. Enjoy the planning process, and don't stress too much about making it perfect. As long as the groom is surrounded by his closest friends, he's sure to have a fantastic time.

Organising the groom's wedding attire

As the best man, you will be the groom's right-hand man and it is your duty to ensure that the groom and his groomsmen are well prepared for the wedding, especially when it comes to their attire. Here are some tips on how to organise the groom's wedding attire:

Help Choose the Suits

Firstly, you will need to assist the groom in choosing the wedding suits. This includes helping the groom, ushers, and other important members of the wedding party to try on different options. It is also important to discuss the style and whether the suits will be bought or hired with the couple and the wedding party. Be sure to communicate any financial contributions that are required or expected.

Shop for Formalwear and Coordinate the Purchase

As the best man, you will be in charge of helping the groom and groomsmen choose their formal wear and ensuring that everyone orders their attire in a timely and coordinated fashion. This may involve gathering measurements, setting order-by deadlines, or even placing the orders yourself. Talk to the groom about what he wants everyone to wear and whether the wedding party is expected to match or coordinate their outfits. Ordering as a group may help save some money. Don't forget about alterations! Ensure that all suits are received and tailored before the wedding.

Organise Final Fittings

As the wedding day approaches, things can get busy and stressful for the couple. As the best man, you can step in and keep an eye out for any last-minute suit fittings that the groom or groomsmen might need. With all the wedding planning madness, they might not have the time or energy to chase down those final alterations.

Help the Groom Get Ready

On the morning of the wedding, your duty is to help the groom get ready and be as hands-on as possible with any last-minute tasks. This includes ensuring the groom has everything he needs, such as his wedding ring, and assisting with any final preparations. You may also be responsible for holding onto the groom's phone and other personal items so that he can focus on the ceremony.

Stay Over with the Groom the Night Before

Traditionally, the best man stays with the groom the night before the wedding. This is a great opportunity to bond and offer any final words of support or advice. However, make sure the groom doesn't drink too much or eat anything that could cause an issue on the wedding day. You can also use this time to go over your best man speech one more time to ensure you feel confident and ready for your delivery.

Acting as the groom's confidant

The best man should be the groom's main source of emotional support. It is his duty to patiently listen to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment. He should also reassure the groom that everything will be okay and keep him focused and alert in the lead-up to the wedding.

The best man should also be the groom's personal aide and adviser on the wedding day. This includes helping the groom get ready, delivering a letter to his spouse, serving as a point of contact for vendors, and ensuring the groom eats and drinks enough throughout the day.

Additionally, the best man may be responsible for holding onto the groom's personal items, such as his phone, wallet, and vows, to ensure he is not distracted. He may also be asked to hold onto the wedding rings until it is time for the couple to exchange them.

In the days leading up to the wedding, the best man can help the groom with any last-minute suit fittings and provide support with planning admin, such as booking vendors and managing RSVPs.

The best man is also typically in charge of planning and organizing the bachelor party, which can be a significant source of stress relief for the groom.

Holding the wedding rings

Before the Wedding

It is essential to keep the wedding rings safe and secure in the lead-up to the big day. The best man should find a safe place to store the rings and ensure that they are easily accessible on the wedding day. It is also a good idea to double-check that the rings are the correct size and that there are no last-minute alterations needed.

On the Wedding Day

The best man should be responsible for bringing the rings to the ceremony and keeping them safe until the exchange of vows. If there is no ring bearer, the best man will be in charge of holding the rings throughout the ceremony. If there is a ring bearer, the best man will need to fasten the rings to the pillow before the processional and collect them from the ring bearer before the exchange of vows.

During the Ceremony

The best man should be aware of when the rings will be needed during the ceremony and have them readily available. It is also important to check that the rings are not damaged or lost during the ceremony. If the rings are not being used during the entire ceremony, the best man should keep them in a safe place, such as an inner jacket pocket, to ensure they do not get misplaced.

After the Ceremony

Once the rings have been exchanged, the best man's responsibility for the rings is complete. However, it is important to ensure that the newlyweds safely store the rings, especially if they are planning to go on their honeymoon immediately after the wedding.

Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the wedding rings are well-looked after and readily available for the exchange of vows. By following these tips and staying organised, the best man can ensure that the rings are one less thing for the happy couple to worry about on their big day.

Giving a best man speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of the best man. It is usually the last speech of the reception, after the father of the bride and the groom. If there is a bride speech or a maid of honour speech, the best man may go before them.

The best man's speech is usually the funny speech, so it's a good idea to include some jokes. However, remember that older relatives will be in the audience, so avoid anything too rude or embarrassing. It's a good idea to run your speech by a trusted person to make sure it's appropriate.

The best man should lead a toast to the bridesmaids, if there are any, and comment on how great the partner of the groom is, and how perfect they are as a couple. The best man should also read out any messages or telegrams that they have collected ahead of the wedding, such as well wishes from guests who couldn't attend.

• Don't procrastinate when it comes to writing your speech.
• Speak from the heart.
• Keep it short.
• Speak slowly and pause for laughter.
• Make sure you mention everyone who needs to be mentioned.

Frequently asked questions