Who Stands With The Groom: Wedding Party Explained

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and typically his closest friend or relative. He is responsible for organising the stag do, writing a speech, assisting with suit choices, and helping the groom get ready. He enters with the groom, looks after the wedding rings, greets guests, and dances with the maid of honour. He may also sign the marriage license as a witness, arrange transportation for the newlyweds, and decorate their getaway car. But what comes after the best man in a wedding?

In a traditional wedding, the best man is followed by the groomsmen or ushers. These are the male attendants to the groom, usually comprised of his close friends and relatives. Their duties include ushering guests to their seats, participating in local traditions, and providing practical assistance. They may also form part of a sword honour guard if the groom is a military officer. The groomsmen support the best man and groom and often help with planning the bachelor party.

Organising the stag do/bachelor party

Start Planning Early:

Begin planning the stag do several months in advance. This will reduce stress and allow you to create a well-organised event. Ask the groom for a guest list and their availability, then set a date.

Determine the Budget and Location:

Discuss the budget with the groom and guests, and decide on a location that suits everyone's budget and travel preferences. Consider transportation options and safety measures, especially if you're planning to consume alcohol.

Choose Activities:

Select activities that align with the groom's interests. This could include outdoor adventures, sports events, brewery tours, bar crawls, or a combination of these. Personalise the party to make it special for the groom.

Create a Schedule:

Plan two to three group outings, but also allow for downtime. Avoid overloading the itinerary, as the goal is to celebrate and bond.

Handle Logistics:

Take care of accommodation, transportation, and dining reservations. Consider renting a house instead of hotel rooms for a more relaxed atmosphere. Stock the house with snacks and easy meals, and make dining reservations for larger groups.

Finalise Details:

Once you have estimates for lodging and activities, share them with the group. Ensure everyone understands their portion of the expenses and confirms their attendance.

Add a Surprise Element:

Surprises add a special touch to the celebration. This could be a video message from a celebrity, a surprise guest, or an activity centred around the groom's interests.

Remember, the key to a successful stag do is to personalise the experience, stay organised, and ensure the groom has a memorable time.

Writing and delivering a best man's speech

Preparation:

• Start writing your speech early. Giving yourself ample time will reduce stress and allow you to create a well-crafted speech.
• Write down your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Free writing can help you gather your ideas and recall various experiences with the groom.
• Use a template as a guide. Templates can provide a helpful structure for your speech, ensuring you include all the necessary elements.
• Prepare unique opening and closing lines. Grab the audience's attention from the start and leave a lasting impression with a memorable closing line that ties back to the theme of your speech.
• Add personal touches. Share stories and anecdotes about the groom that showcase his personality and your relationship. This could include funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing moments.
• Rehearse your speech. Practice your speech multiple times to familiarize yourself with the content and improve your delivery. Practicing in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend can help refine your body language and confidence.

Delivery:

• Stay calm and confident. It is normal to feel nervous before public speaking. Take deep breaths, visualize your success, and focus on your breathing to calm yourself.
• Connect with the audience. Maintain eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures to engage the guests. Even the best speech will fall flat if you're looking at the ground or mumbling.
• Keep it short and sweet. A best man's speech should typically be around 4-7 minutes long. This is enough time to share meaningful stories and well-wishes without losing the attention of the audience.
• Avoid controversial topics. Stay away from negative comments about marriage, previous marriages/divorces, adult humor, or excessive mentions of drinking, drugs, or gambling.
• Incorporate humor. Ridicule the groom's funny quirks or characteristics in a lighthearted way that all guests can appreciate. However, avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand.
• Bring notes. It is perfectly acceptable to have note cards with key points to keep you on track. Avoid reading from a sheet of paper or, worse, your phone, as it can be distracting and ruin the photographer's shots.
• Practice with an audience. Record yourself or practice in front of a trusted friend to get honest feedback and refine your delivery.

Remember, the best man's speech is an opportunity to celebrate the groom and his new spouse. Keep your speech focused on their happiness, add personal touches, and rehearse to deliver a speech that will be remembered and cherished by the couple and guests alike.

Assisting with the wedding rings

As the best man, you will be responsible for assisting with the wedding rings. This is one of the most important duties of the best man, as it involves keeping the rings safe until it is time for the couple to exchange them. You will need to find a safe place for the rings and triple-check your pockets to ensure they are secure. If there is a ring bearer, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional and the ring bearer will pass the rings back to you for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

In the lead-up to the wedding, you will also be in charge of supporting the groom with all wedding day attire needs. This includes helping with final suit selections for the groom, groomsmen, and important family members. You may even want to put together an emergency kit for the groomsmen, with items such as extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.

On the day of the wedding, you will help the groom get ready, ensuring his suit, tie, cravat or bow tie are perfect, and that everyone has the right shoes on. You will also need to keep an eye on the time, to ensure everyone gets to the venue on time.

As the best man, you will also be responsible for the groom's phone, wallet, and any other accessories, so he is not distracted on the day.

Acting as a witness and signing the marriage license

The witnesses must be adults, typically 18 years or older, and they should be individuals of legal age and in good standing within the community. They are responsible for witnessing the wedding ceremony and the couple and officiant signing the marriage license. After the ceremony, the witnesses sign the license, which is then filed by the officiant with the local government recording agency. A few weeks later, the couple receives their official marriage certificate.

In addition to signing the marriage license, the best man has several other important duties before, during, and after the wedding. These include organizing the bachelor party, assisting with suit selections, supporting the groom, holding the wedding rings, greeting guests, giving a speech, and decorating the getaway car. Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the wedding runs smoothly and is a trusted confidante and helper to the groom.

Ushering guests to their seats

Know Your Duties

Your main role as an usher is to guide guests and help the ceremony run smoothly. This includes manning the ceremony entryway, handing out programs, escorting guests to their seats, and providing basic information and assistance to any guests who may need it. You'll also need to arrive about an hour before the ceremony begins.

Attire

As you're participating in the ceremony, the couple may give you some attire requirements. They may give you general guidelines to follow or ask that you rent or purchase specific items if they want a more uniform look. Make sure you allow plenty of time for special orders and tailoring.

Usher Etiquette

When escorting a female guest, offer your right arm and walk her down the aisle to her seat. When escorting a male guest, simply walk beside him. If you're seating a couple, escort the female on your arm and have the male follow behind you. If you're seating multiple women, escort the eldest on your arm and have the rest walk behind you. Always wait at the end of the row until the guests are seated before returning to the start of the aisle.

Pay Attention at the Rehearsal

It's important to show up to the rehearsal on time and pay attention to the coordinator's instructions. Familiarize yourself with the VIPs and where they will be seated, and make sure you know about any special considerations, such as elderly guests who need extra assistance or feuding relatives who should be seated apart. Ask about designated sides for the bride and groom, and find out if there are any specific seating requests from the couple.

Be a Point Person

After the ceremony, ushers act as point people to help ensure a smooth transition to the next part of the celebration. You should be prepared to stick around after the ceremony to direct guests to the next location, answer their questions, and provide basic information such as the location of the restrooms, card/gift table, guest book, parking lot, and coat check. If the reception is at a separate location, familiarize yourself with the address and basic driving directions.

Frequently asked questions