Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, tasked with providing support and assistance in any way possible before and during the wedding.

The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother, father, or best friend. They are expected to act as a confidant and provide emotional support to the groom throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. This includes helping to organise the bachelor party, assisting with suit selections, and providing a sounding board for any nerves or anxiety.

On the wedding day, the best man has several important duties, including keeping the wedding rings safe, greeting guests, escorting the maid of honour, and giving a memorable speech. They may also be responsible for coordinating the groomsmen, ensuring everyone is where they need to be and that the day runs smoothly.

The best man plays a crucial role in creating a special and stress-free day for the groom, and their duties can vary depending on the couple's unique needs and dynamics.

Help choose the suits

As the best man, one of your main duties will be to help with suit shopping. You will need to assist the groom in rounding up the ushers and other important members of the wedding party to go and try on wedding suits.

It is a good idea to discuss ideas with the couple about the style and whether the groomswear will be bought or hired. Usually, the couple pays for the wedding suits or the cost of hiring them, but if financial contributions are required, make sure this is discussed openly and upfront. Communicate this with the ushers so that everyone is aware before trying anything on.

You may also want to chat with the maid of honour and see what useful things you can have on hand on the day, such as large umbrellas in case of bad weather or wedding gifts you want to arrange for the couple.

• Be aware of who all the ushers and other groomsmen are. You may already know them, but if not, it is important to know what their roles and duties are so that everyone is clear on what is expected of them.
• Keep an eye out for any last-minute suit fittings the groom or groomsmen might need. Between wedding planning madness, they might not have the time or energy to chase down those final alterations.
• If the suits are being hired, make sure they are returned on time and in good condition.
• If the suits are being bought, you may be tasked with taking them to be dry-cleaned—the sooner the better.

Plan the bachelor party

Planning the bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's your job to organise the groom's last big night of freedom and ensure everyone has a great time. Here's a step-by-step guide to planning an epic bachelor party:

Consult the Groom

First, check in with the groom about his vision for the bachelor party. Does he want to travel or stay local? Is he looking for a wild party or something more low-key? Get a sense of his expectations and preferences so you can plan an event that suits his style.

Create a Guest List

Work with the groom to create a guest list of people he wants to attend the bachelor party. This typically includes the groomsmen and other close friends or family members. Make sure to get contact information for everyone on the list so you can coordinate easily.

Choose a Date and Location

Pick two or three potential dates for the bachelor party and survey the guest list to see which dates work best for everyone. It's important to give people enough advance notice so they can plan their schedules accordingly. As for the location, consider everyone's budget and try to choose a spot that's accessible and affordable for all.

Plan the Activities

Discuss and decide on the activities for the bachelor party. This could be a night out on the town, a weekend getaway, or any other fun adventures the groom will enjoy. Think about ways to personalise the event with games, pranks (nothing too wild!), or special touches that reflect the groom's interests.

Handle the Logistics

Take care of all the practical details, such as booking accommodations, transportation, and any necessary reservations. Create a schedule for the bachelor party to keep things running smoothly. If there are costs involved, be sure to communicate them clearly to the guests.

Spread the Word

Once you have the key details in place, spread the word to the guest list and get everyone excited about the event. Create a group chat or email chain to keep everyone informed and involved in the planning process.

Final Checks

In the days leading up to the bachelor party, do a final confirmation of all the arrangements. Make sure everyone who is attending knows what to expect, including the schedule, meeting points, and any special instructions.

Remember, the key to being a great best man is organisation and attention to detail. By planning an enjoyable and memorable bachelor party, you'll help create lasting memories for the groom and his friends.

Give a best man's speech

So, you've been asked to be the best man at a wedding—congratulations! It's a huge honour, and it's also a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man, and it's your job to support him throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. One of your most important duties as the best man is to give a speech at the reception. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you prepare and deliver an amazing best man's speech.

Before the Wedding

As soon as you've been asked to be the best man, it's a good idea to meet with the groom and bride to understand their expectations for your role. This is also a great opportunity to start brainstorming ideas for your speech. Ask the happy couple if there are any specific topics or stories they'd like you to include or avoid. For example, they might want you to mention how they first met or leave out any embarrassing stories from the groom's teenage years! It's also worth discussing the timeline for the reception, as speeches traditionally take place after the meal.

Writing Your Speech

When it comes to writing your speech, it's important to start early. Giving a best man's speech can be a daunting task, so don't leave it until the last minute! Begin by making some notes about the couple and your relationship with the groom. Think about the stories and memories that best represent your friendship and try to include a mix of funny and heartfelt anecdotes. Remember, this speech is all about the groom (and his new spouse!), so make sure you focus on them and keep your speech appropriate for all guests. It's a good idea to run your speech by a trusted friend or family member to check that it's not offensive or inappropriate.

Practising Your Speech

Once you've written your speech, it's time to start practising. The more you practise, the more confident and relaxed you'll feel on the day. Practise in front of a mirror, time yourself to make sure your speech isn't too long, and consider recording yourself so you can refine your delivery. If you're feeling nervous, remember that everyone wants you to do well, and your speech will be one of the highlights of the day.

On the Day of the Wedding

On the day of the wedding, there will be a lot going on, and it's your job to make sure the groom is where he needs to be and has everything he needs. In the lead-up to your speech, try to stay relaxed and focused. Take a few deep breaths, and remember that everyone is on your side. When it's time for your speech, speak slowly and clearly, and don't be afraid to pause for laughter or applause. Most importantly, enjoy the moment and have fun!

After the Wedding

Your duties don't end when the wedding is over. It's traditional for the best man to help with any post-wedding tasks, such as returning hired suits or decorative items, collecting gifts and cards, and checking that all vendors have been paid. It's also a nice gesture to help the groom with any post-wedding admin, such as writing thank-you notes to guests.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:

Before the Wedding

It is a good idea to discuss with the couple whether they want you to be the ring bearer. If they do, make sure you have a safe place to keep the rings, such as your inner jacket pocket. Check that your pocket doesn't have a hole in it! You may also be asked to hold the groom's personal items, such as his phone, wallet, and vows, so be prepared to keep track of multiple items.

During the Wedding

If you are the ring bearer, make sure you have the rings to hand when the couple is ready to exchange them. If there is a ring bearer, usually a young child, make sure they give you the rings before the ceremony begins. You will then pass the rings to the couple when they are requested by the officiant.

After the Wedding

If the couple is leaving for their honeymoon straight away, they may ask you to take care of the rings and ensure they are stored safely.

General Tips

• Be aware of where the rings are at all times and keep them secure.
• If you are also signing the marriage license as a witness, have a backup pen in your pocket in case of any last-minute mishaps.
• Enjoy the wedding and try to relax, but stay sober so you can be relied upon to perform your duties.
• If you are unsure about any aspect of your ring-bearing duties, communicate with the couple and clarify their expectations.

Support the groom

Being the best man is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. The role of the best man is to be the groom's right-hand man, providing support and assistance in any way possible before and during the wedding. Here are some ways you can support the groom:

Before the Wedding

• Provide emotional support: Be a supportive friend throughout the wedding planning process. Listen to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment and reassure him that everything will be okay.
• Help choose the suits: Assist the groom in rounding up the groomsmen and other important members of the wedding party to try on wedding suits. Discuss ideas with the couple about style and whether the suits will be bought or hired.
• Organise the bachelor party: Work with the groomsmen to plan a night or weekend that suits the groom's style and preferences. Check in with the groom in advance to understand his expectations and work within the group's budget.
• Attend pre-wedding events: Be present at the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity to bond with the other half of the wedding party and the couple's relatives.
• Coordinate the groom's gift: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best man often leads this effort by collecting money and choosing the final item, such as a vintage bottle of wine or a nice bottle of scotch.
• Help with planning admin: Offer to help with logistical details like booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules. This can alleviate some of the stress for the groom and ensure a smoother planning process.
• Stay over with the groom: Traditionally, the best man stays with the groom the night before the wedding. Prepare drinks and snacks, but make sure the groom doesn't overindulge. Use this time to go over your speech and check in with the groom.

On the Wedding Day

• Help the groom get ready: On the morning of the wedding, be hands-on and assist the groom with any last-minute tasks.
• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: Keep an eye on the clock to ensure everyone gets to the venue on time. Help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the day and make sure they are in the right place at the right time.
• Hold the wedding rings: The best man is often entrusted with holding the wedding rings for safekeeping, along with the groom's personal items like his phone and wallet.
• Stand at the altar with the groom: Take your place on the front right-hand side of the ceremony room at the altar. If you are the ring bearer, ensure you have the rings ready for the couple to exchange.
• Greet the guests with the groom: Ensure the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony. Stand by his side to welcome and greet the arriving guests, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.
• Escort the maid of honour: After the ceremony, escort the maid of honour out of the room ahead of the newly married couple.
• Stand in the receiving line: If the couple chooses to have a receiving line, greet the guests as a key part of the wedding party.
• Help organise wedding photographs: Work with the ushers to round up guests for group photos and appear in many of them yourself.
• Be the master of ceremonies: If the couple hasn't hired a toastmaster or master of ceremonies, you may be asked to announce key moments like the couple's arrival, the speeches, and the cake-cutting.
• Deliver your speech: Traditionally, the best man's speech comes last, after the father of the bride and the groom. Make sure to speak slowly, pause for laughter, and mention everyone who needs to be mentioned.
• Get the party started: After the first dance, it's traditional for the best man to dance with the maid of honour and encourage everyone onto the dance floor.

After the Wedding

• Return and clean suits: Help round up and return any hired items, such as suits, and take care of dry cleaning if necessary.
• Take care of wedding gifts: Safely store the wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately. Collect all gifts, cards, and keepsakes from the venue and deliver them to the couple.
• Check in with vendors: Ensure all wedding-related expenses are handled and that there are no outstanding payments.
• Coordinate and decorate the getaway car: Help coordinate car transportation for the couple to leave the reception, and enlist the wedding party to decorate the vehicle.

Remember, the groom chose you as his best man because he trusts and values your friendship. By taking on these responsibilities, you'll be able to provide him with the support he needs and ensure his wedding day is truly special.

Frequently asked questions