Deborah Chan
The best man is an important part of the groom's wedding day, acting as the groom's right-hand man and chief assistant. The role is typically given to a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother, and is considered an honour. While there is usually only one best man, there are no rules, and the groom can choose two or more if he wishes. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, acting as a point of contact for the groom's side, holding the wedding rings, giving a speech, and providing emotional support to the groom.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Role | Chief assistant to the groom; go-to confidante; personal valet; logistics guru; leader of the groomsmen |
| Duties | Assist the groom on the wedding day; organise a bachelor party; keep the wedding rings safe; stand next to the groom during the ceremony; act as a legal witness to the marriage; prepare a speech; lead the rest of the groomsmen; help the groom choose formalwear; take charge of transportation; be the groom's right-hand man; be the time enforcer; decorate the getaway car; collect gifts; tie up loose ends after the reception |
| Selection | Usually a close friend or relative; can be two best men or a best woman |
What You'll Learn
The best man is usually a close friend or relative
The groom usually selects a close friend or relative to be his best man, and it is considered an honour to be chosen. The best man is often the groom's confidant, personal valet, and logistics guru for pre-wedding events and day-of details. He is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties.
There are no set rules on who can be the best man, and nowadays, there are no rules on the number of best men either. The groom may choose to have two or more best men, or none at all. The best man can be a best woman, or a best man and best woman, or any combination. The groom's father can also serve as the best man if desired. The number of best men depends on the groom's personal relationships and how his loved ones will handle the responsibilities.
The best man has a long list of duties, including planning and organising the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groom's side, assisting with outfit details, coordinating the groom's gift, and providing emotional support. He also has responsibilities on the wedding day itself, such as keeping the groom and groomsmen on schedule, holding the wedding rings, welcoming guests, signing the marriage license, and giving a speech.
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The groom may choose to have more than one best man
The role of the best man is to provide emotional support to the groom, help with wedding planning and arrangements, and ensure that everything runs smoothly on the wedding day. Having multiple best men can help alleviate some of the stress and responsibilities that come with the role, and can also ensure that the groom has a strong support system in place.
One of the main benefits of having multiple best men is that the groom can choose more than one person who is special to him. It can be difficult for a groom to choose just one best man from his group of close friends or family members. By having multiple best men, the groom can honour more than one person and show how much they mean to him. For example, the groom may have two very important "best men" in his life, such as a best friend and a brother, and may feel confused about how to choose one of them to be his best man. Having two best men allows him to honour both of these relationships.
Another benefit of having multiple best men is that they can work together to ensure that everything runs smoothly on the wedding day. The responsibilities can be divided up between the best men, with one in charge of the bachelor party and the other in charge of the wedding rehearsal, for instance. They can also divide up other duties such as ensuring the groom is ready on time and keeping the wedding rings safe.
However, having multiple best men can also come with certain challenges. It may be difficult to decide who will give the best man speech, and how to divide up the responsibilities fairly. Clear communication is essential to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that there is no confusion.
In terms of attire, the groom may choose to have all his best men wear the same suit or tuxedo, or he may opt for different suits that match the colour scheme of the wedding. It is important to ensure that everyone is aware of the dress code and that their outfits coordinate well together.
Having multiple best men can also impact the number of groomsmen chosen for the wedding party. The groom may choose to have an equal number of groomsmen on each side, or he may opt for an uneven number. Ultimately, it is the groom's decision to make, and he should choose what makes him feel happy and comfortable.
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The best man is in charge of the groomsmen
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to person throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. He is usually a close friend or relative of the groom and is often given this role of honour if he is a sibling or best friend.
The best man has a long list of responsibilities, including:
- Planning and organising the bachelor party
- Serving as a point of contact for the groom's side of the wedding party and family members
- Collecting money from the groomsmen and purchasing a gift for the groom
- Helping the groom and groomsmen pick out their wedding attire
- Holding the wedding rings during the ceremony
- Welcoming guests and making sure the reception is running smoothly
- Giving a speech
- Ensuring the gifts get to the right place
- Decorating the getaway car
- Returning the groom's clothing and any rented attire
- Checking in with vendors to ensure all wedding-related expenses are handled
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The best man is responsible for the wedding rings
The best man should keep the rings in a safe place and triple-check that his pockets don't have holes! If the ring bearer is carrying the rings down the aisle on a pillow, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow and then receive them back for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant. During the ceremony, the best man traditionally stands at the groom's side and produces the wedding rings during the exchange.
In addition to ring-related duties, the best man has a range of other responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante, offering support and overseeing critical details. The best man also leads the groomsmen, coordinating their activities and duties.
Pre-wedding duties may include planning the bachelor party, helping the groom choose formalwear, and attending pre-wedding events such as the rehearsal dinner. On the wedding day, the best man ensures the groom arrives on time, helps him get ready, and provides emotional support. The best man may also act as a point of contact for vendors and guests, coordinate transportation, and decorate the getaway car.
Post-wedding, the best man may help collect gifts, give a speech, and tie up loose ends such as tipping vendors and returning rented attire. Overall, the best man plays a pivotal role in ensuring the wedding runs smoothly and that the groom's experience is as stress-free as possible.
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The best man gives a speech at the reception
The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, and while it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. It's usually the third speech of the day, after the father of the bride and the groom. It can be delivered after the main meal or between courses.
Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the groom. Are you his childhood best friend, brother, or new brother-in-law? This is your opportunity to build rapport with the audience and share some light-hearted anecdotes about how you met or your journey so far.
Acknowledge the Happy Couple
Shift your focus to the newlyweds. Highlight how beautiful the bride looks and express how happy you are for them. Explain how the bride has positively influenced the groom's life.
Stories and Anecdotes
Share your favourite stories about the groom. These stories could showcase his character, quirks, and memorable moments you've shared. Balance your jokes with sincerity, ensuring the stories reflect the groom's best qualities without embarrassing him too much.
Reflect on Your Friendship
Talk about how you've supported each other through life's trials. Discuss how you met, the lessons you've learned together, and what your friendship means to you. It's okay to show your sentimental side, as today is a sentimental day.
Close and Toast
Thank the guests for attending, express gratitude to the couple's parents, and end on a heartfelt note. Raise your glass to the happy couple, wishing them a long and happy life together.
- Keep the speech concise, usually under 10 minutes.
- Avoid sensitive or controversial topics that could offend or embarrass anyone.
- Practice your speech beforehand to build confidence.
- Respect the couple's wishes if they prefer to keep certain topics private.
- Include a mix of humour and sincerity to keep the speech engaging and heartfelt.
Remember, the best man's speech is a chance to celebrate the groom and share your happiness for the newlyweds. Enjoy the process and have fun!
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Frequently asked questions
The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is in charge of supporting the groom by lightening his workload before, during, and after the wedding. The best man is also in charge of planning and organizing the bachelor party and serving as a point of contact for everyone on the groom's side.
On the wedding day, the best man is responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe and presenting them during the ceremony. He also helps the groom get ready, ensures the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be on time, and gives a speech during the reception.
After the wedding, the best man may be responsible for tasks such as taking care of the groom's clothing, making sure rented items are returned, and checking in with vendors to ensure all wedding-related expenses are handled.
The best man is usually the groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. However, there are no set rules, and the best man can be anyone who holds a significant role in the groom's life. In recent times, it has also become more common for the groom to choose a close female friend or relative to stand by his side, in which case she might be referred to as the "best woman" or "groomswoman."
