Grooms As Best Men: Is It Possible?

While it is traditional for the groom to have one best man, there are no rules that say you have to stick to this. In fact, it is becoming more and more common for grooms to have two or more best men. The role of the best man is to provide emotional support to the groom, help with wedding planning and arrangements, and ensure that everything runs smoothly on the day. Having multiple best men can help to alleviate some of the stress and responsibilities that come with the role and can also ensure that the groom has a strong support system in place.

Can the groom have two best men?

Traditionally, grooms select one best man to handle responsibilities like planning the bachelor party, keeping track of the rings, and giving a speech. However, this is your wedding, and you can choose to have as many best men as you like. Modern weddings are all about personalising traditions to reflect your unique relationships, so if you want two best men, you absolutely can.

It can be a struggle to choose just one person to stand by your side, especially if you have two brothers or two very good friends. Having two best men is a way to honour two important people in your life without having to pick between them. It also makes sense from a practical perspective, as it allows you to divide responsibilities and play to each person's strengths.

How to Make it Work

Communication is key when it comes to having two best men. Be clear about who is responsible for what, and encourage them to work together as a team. Here are some ways to divide the duties:

• Bachelor Party: One best man can plan the bachelor party, while the other manages the guest list, travel, or accommodation details.
• Wedding Day Logistics: One best man can keep the rings safe, while the other oversees the groomsmen and ensures everyone is where they need to be on time.
• Speech: If both best men are comfortable with public speaking, they can either give a joint speech or split it into two. Alternatively, one can take the lead on this task if they prefer.

Benefits of Having Two Best Men

Having two best men means you'll have double the support on your wedding day, whether it's moral support, a sense of humour, or simply having two trusted people to lean on. It also reduces the workload for everyone involved and ensures that no one person feels overwhelmed.

Potential Challenges

While having two best men can be a wonderful way to honour your closest relationships, there are a few potential challenges to consider. Some people may be upset or view it as a slight that the position is being shared. There may also be confusion among guests and vendors about who to address or ask questions to on the wedding day.

Ultimately, the decision to have one or multiple best men is a personal one. If you feel that having two best men is the best way to recognise and honour your closest friends or family members, then go for it! Just be sure to communicate clearly and divide the responsibilities in a way that works for everyone involved.

What are the best man's duties?

While the groom is not usually the best man at a wedding, there are no rules against it. If the groom wishes to be his own best man, here are the duties and responsibilities that come with the role:

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Planning and organising the bachelor party or 'stag do'
• Writing and delivering a best man's speech
• Helping the groom and groomsmen pick out their wedding attire
• Collecting money from the groomsmen to purchase a gift for the groom
• Providing emotional support to the groom
• Wrangling the wedding party at the rehearsal

Wedding Day Duties:

• Keeping the groom and groomsmen on schedule
• Holding the wedding rings, and any other important items like the groom's phone or wallet
• Welcoming and greeting guests
• Witnessing the marriage by signing the marriage license or certificate
• Giving a speech or toast
• Ensuring guests are having a good time at the reception
• Helping to collect gifts
• Decorating the getaway car

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Returning hired outfits
• Checking in with vendors to ensure all wedding-related expenses are handled
• Transporting gifts to the couple's home

What should the best man wear?

While the groom traditionally has a single best man, some opt for two or more. In the case of multiple best men, they can either wear the same outfit or different suits that match the wedding's colour scheme.

The best man's attire is usually coordinated with the groomsmen's outfits. If there is more than one best man, they can follow this tradition and wear matching suits or tuxedos. Alternatively, they can wear different suits that complement the wedding's colour palette.

The best man is typically in charge of supporting the groom with his wedding attire. This includes helping with final suit selections and ensuring that the groomsmen's outfits are coordinated. The best man may even put together emergency kits for the groomsmen, including extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.

In terms of accessories, the best man is often entrusted with holding the wedding rings for safekeeping, as well as other items like the groom's cell phone, wallet, and vows.

Ultimately, the best man's attire should be consistent with the wedding's theme and colour scheme, while also ensuring that the groom and groomsmen are well-prepared and have everything they need for the big day.

Can the groom be his own best man?

While the role of the best man is to be the groom's right-hand man, providing emotional support, helping with wedding planning and arrangements, and ensuring the groom and groomsmen are where they need to be on time, there is no rule that says the groom cannot take on these responsibilities himself.

In most modern Anglophone countries, the best man stands next to the groom during the ceremony, slightly behind him. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant, the bride, groom, and best man. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties.

However, the groom can choose to forgo having a best man altogether and simply have groomsmen, who are male attendants at the wedding ceremony. The groom usually selects close friends and relatives to serve as groomsmen, and it is considered an honour to be selected. Groomsmen can help with tasks such as planning celebratory events, providing practical assistance, and participating in local or regional traditions.

Ultimately, it is up to the groom to decide whether he wants to take on the responsibilities of the best man himself or delegate them to someone else. If the groom chooses to be his own best man, he can expect to provide emotional support, help with wedding planning, and ensure that everything runs smoothly on the wedding day. He can also expect to be the point of contact for everyone on his side, including the groomsmen and family members.

Additionally, the groom can expect to assist with outfit details, plan the bachelor party, coordinate his gift, and provide a speech. On the wedding day, the groom can expect to keep himself and the groomsmen on schedule, hold the wedding rings, and act as a witness to the marriage by signing the marriage certificate.

Can the best man be a woman?

While the role of the best man is traditionally given to a man, there are no rules that dictate that the best man cannot be a woman. In fact, the role can be given to anyone who is significant in the groom's life, regardless of their gender. This role can be known as a "best person" or "best woman" if the honouree is not a man.

The best man is the groom's right-hand person throughout the wedding planning process and on the day of the wedding. They are usually a close friend or relative of the groom and are responsible for providing emotional support, assisting with wedding attire, planning the bachelor party, and serving as a point of contact for the groomsmen and the groom's family.

One of the most important duties of the best man is to be the groom's confidant and provide emotional support during the wedding planning process. They should be patient, listen to the groom's concerns, and provide reassurance. The best man also typically helps with selecting and coordinating wedding attire for the groom, groomsmen, and other important family members.

Another key responsibility is planning and organizing the bachelor party, which can take various forms, such as a yacht event, a day of golf, or a night out. The best man usually takes the lead in planning but can recruit the help of other groomsmen. Consulting with the groom beforehand is essential to ensure the event aligns with his preferences.

On the wedding day, the best man has several important duties. They are often entrusted with holding the wedding rings and other important items, such as the groom's phone, wallet, or vows. They ensure the groom and groomsmen are on schedule and arrive at the venue on time. The best man also plays a crucial role in welcoming guests and making sure everyone is having a good time at the reception.

In terms of wedding traditions, the best man typically stands next to the groom during the ceremony and may be called upon to sign the marriage certificate as a witness. They are also expected to give a well-crafted speech during the reception, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story.

While there is no rule against having a woman as the best man, it is important to consider the dynamics of the wedding party and the comfort level of those involved. Ultimately, the decision should be made based on the groom's personal preference and what will make them happy and comfortable on their special day.

Frequently asked questions