The Evolution Of The Best Man: Is He Over?

Being a best man is a significant role and a great honour. However, it can also be a source of stress and conflict, especially when it comes to issues of loyalty. One man, Adrian Peru, recently shared his experience of being asked to be a best man and the conflict that ensued. Peru was excited to accept the role, but later discovered that his girlfriend was not allowed to attend the wedding as his plus-one due to a past conflict with the bride. Peru ultimately decided to step down from the position, prioritising his loyalty to his girlfriend. This story highlights the challenges and complexities that can arise when it comes to the duties and expectations of a best man.

The best man's speech

Being the best man is a great honour and a big responsibility. It's a role that comes with many duties, from planning the stag do to choosing the suits and, of course, delivering a memorable speech. While the prospect of writing and giving a speech can be daunting, there are some key tips to help you craft something special.

How to Write the Speech

• Keep it concise: A best man's speech should usually be no longer than 10 minutes. Aim for around 3-5 minutes to keep the guests engaged.
• Introduce yourself: Begin by telling the guests your name and your relationship to the groom.
• Share anecdotes: Include a few light-hearted and funny stories about the groom. Avoid anything too embarrassing or humiliating.
• Compliment the couple: Talk about the groom's positive qualities and how the couple has impacted each other.
• Keep it appropriate: Avoid inside jokes and explicit content. Make sure your speech is suitable for all ages.
• Express well-wishes: Conclude your speech by wishing the couple a happy and long-lasting marriage.

How to Deliver the Speech

• Prepare in advance: Don't leave it to the last minute. Give yourself a few weeks to write and practice your speech.
• Practice extensively: Rehearse your speech in front of a mirror or with friends and family. Record yourself to refine your body language and delivery.
• Show your emotions: It's okay to be sentimental. Share your genuine emotions and inside jokes, but balance them with more general content.

Example Speech Outline

• Introduction: Greet the guests and introduce yourself.
• Anecdotes about the groom: Share a few light-hearted stories and memories about the groom.
• Compliments to the couple: Talk about how the groom has changed for the better and compliment the bride.
• Well-wishes: Express your happiness for the couple and wish them a long and happy marriage.
• Toast: Finish with a toast, inviting everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds.

Planning the stag do

Planning a stag do can be stressful, but it's also an exciting opportunity to create a memorable experience for your friend. Here are some detailed tips to help you plan an epic celebration:

Start with a Chat with the Groom:

Before you dive into the planning, have a conversation with the groom to understand their preferences. Is it a weekend getaway or a night of partying? Do they want to stay local or go abroad? Most importantly, get the guest list from them to ensure you don't forget anyone or invite someone they'd rather not have there.

Figure Out the Budget:

Money matters! Discuss the budget with the groom and the group to ensure everyone is comfortable with the spending. The budget will also guide your choices for activities, accommodation, and travel options.

Choose a Destination:

Now, it's time to pick a location. Will it be a UK-based celebration or an exotic foreign trip? The destination will be a significant factor in your planning, influencing the activities, accommodation, and overall cost.

Select Activities and Nights Out:

Once the destination is set, it's time to fill the days with fun. Choose activities that suit the groom's interests and the group's dynamics. Even if partying is the priority, plan some daytime activities to keep the fun going. Don't forget to book those big nights out to avoid any last-minute hassles.

Create a Group Chat:

After finalizing the key details, create a group chat with the attendees. This is where the planning comes together, and everyone can get to know each other. It's also a great space to share ideas, collect payments, and build excitement for the event.

Get Organised:

Planning a stag do involves many moving parts, so stay organized. Book your accommodations and activities early to secure the best options. Create an itinerary to ensure a smooth flow during the event, and don't forget to include downtime for relaxation or spontaneous fun.

Finalize the Details:

As the date approaches, confirm all the bookings, transport, and payments. Send out a final itinerary to the group, and get ready to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Remember, the key to a successful stag do is timely planning, staying organized, and tailoring the experience to the groom's interests. Now go ahead and create some legendary memories!

Choosing the suits

Choosing the perfect suit as the best man is a tricky task. You want to look your best, but you also don't want to outshine the groom. Here are some tips to help you choose the right suit for the big day:

Colour

Blue, especially dark blue, is a popular choice for best men as it flatters any complexion and body type, and it is both formal and elegant. Charcoal grey is another good option, inspired by the most rigorous tuxedos and morning suits. Black is also an option, but it might not be appropriate for a traditional wedding as it is the colour for tailcoats.

Fabric

The fabric you choose will depend on the season and location of the wedding. For a warm, exotic location, a light and breathable fabric such as linen or a blend of linen and cotton is a good choice. For an outdoor wedding in the evening, wool and silk in a dark colour like brown will keep you warm. If the wedding is in the morning or afternoon, a suit made from linen, wool, or a blend of cool wool and cotton will be more comfortable.

Style

The style of your suit should complement the groom's without matching exactly. If the groom is wearing a double-breasted coat, you should wear a single-breasted style. If the groom is wearing a white dinner jacket, opt for black. You can also coordinate with the other groomsmen to ensure your suits are cohesive but not identical.

Fit

Make sure your suit fits you well and allows for ease of movement as you will have many responsibilities on the day. Consider getting your suit tailored by a professional to ensure the perfect fit.

Keeping the rings safe

Before the Wedding

Firstly, it's important to establish who will be giving the best man the rings. In some cases, the groom will hold onto them until the day of the wedding and then pass them to the best man. In other cases, the bride may give the rings to the best man directly. It's also worth noting that the best man usually only holds onto the wedding bands and not the engagement ring, unless the couple is doing what some couples do and having the groom put the wedding band on first, followed by the engagement ring.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, the best man should keep the rings in a safe place, such as a ring box, until the ceremony. If the best man is also the ring bearer, he will need to have the rings to hand at the altar. If not, he should ensure the ring bearer has them before the ceremony begins. It's important to note that the rings should not be transported loose, as they can easily be lost. Instead, they can be tied or pinned to a ring bearer's pillow or kept in a ring box or special container such as a velvet bag.

If the best man is carrying the rings in his pocket, he should check his pockets for holes beforehand to avoid any mishaps. He should also be careful not to carry them loose in his pocket, as they can be hard to find and may fall out unnoticed.

During the Ceremony

During the ceremony, the best man should stand by the groom's side at the altar and hold onto the rings until it is time for the couple to exchange them. If there is a maid of honour, the best man may be required to escort her out of the room ahead of the newly married couple after the ceremony.

After the Ceremony

After the ceremony, the best man's duties continue, including helping to organise wedding photographs and making key announcements at the reception. However, keeping the rings safe until the couple exchanges them is one of the most crucial tasks, and by following the above tips, the best man can ensure the rings are secure and the ceremony goes smoothly.

Signing the marriage certificate

Before the Wedding

First, check with the couple about the specific requirements and expectations for your role. The legal requirements for signing a marriage certificate vary from state to state, so be sure to confirm what is needed. In some states, only the couple and the officiant are required to sign, while in others, one or two witnesses are also needed. Typically, the best man serves as one of the witnesses, along with the maid of honour.

During the Wedding Ceremony

During the ceremony, the best man should be prepared to sign the marriage certificate immediately after the wedding vows have been exchanged. The officiant will usually pull the best man and maid of honour aside to sign the certificate, or the signatures may be collected as part of the ceremony. It's important to be attentive as this part of the wedding can be easily missed!

After the Wedding

Once the certificate has been signed, the best man's responsibility is to hand the officiant a sealed envelope containing their fee. The officiant will then be in charge of sending the marriage certificate to the relevant local authority, such as the county clerk's office. The couple will then receive their official marriage certificate.

Other Tips

• Check the procedure with the officiant before the wedding to ensure everything runs smoothly.
• Be prepared to provide identification if required.
• Stay sober throughout the wedding to ensure you are ready to sign the certificate and perform other duties, such as driving the couple to their next location.
• Enjoy the celebrations, but remember to keep an eye on the guests to ensure everyone is okay and behaving appropriately.

By following these steps and staying organised, you can ensure that the signing of the marriage certificate goes off without a hitch!

Frequently asked questions