The Best Man's Speech: Traditions And Modern Twists

The best man's speech is a wedding tradition where the groom's closest friend or relative gives a toast to the newlyweds. It is usually lighthearted and filled with humour, but it can also be sentimental and nostalgic. The best man's speech is an opportunity to share stories and anecdotes about the groom, and to wish the couple well. While it is a chance to poke fun at the groom, it is important to be tasteful and avoid inappropriate topics. The speech should be well-prepared and practised, with a clear structure and a balance of humour and sincerity.

How to start a best man speech

So, your best mate has asked you to be his best man and now you need to write a speech. Don't panic! Here is some advice on how to start your best man speech.

Keep it Short and Sweet

The best man's speech should be concise, with most sources recommending a length of around 3-5 minutes. This is just enough time to share some meaningful anecdotes and well-wishes without losing the attention of the audience or delaying dinner.

Know Your Audience

Remember that your speech will be heard by guests of various ages and backgrounds, including children, grandparents, and the couple's boss or colleagues. Avoid raunchy jokes and inappropriate topics such as sex, drugs, or gambling. Keep the content classy and relatable to all ages.

Balance Humor with Sincerity

While it's important to make the guests laugh, don't forget that your speech is also a chance to share your genuine emotions and celebrate the couple. A good best man speech alternates between moments of laughter and sincerity, engaging and warming the audience.

Introduce Yourself with a Twist

Get the crowd's attention right from the start by introducing yourself in a creative way. You can share a funny story, crack a joke, or use a quote to add a unique twist to the standard introduction. This is your chance to set the tone and get everyone excited for the rest of your speech.

Thank the Previous Speakers

It's always polite to acknowledge the other speakers before you. This is also an opportunity to warn the audience if your speech is taking a different direction, especially if the previous speeches were more sentimental.

Share a Few Words About the Couple

Even though you have a closer relationship with the groom, be sure to include the new spouse in your speech. Share some kind words about them and why you love having them in the groom's life. Talk about the qualities you admire and how they have positively impacted the groom.

Share Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The best way to make your speech stand out is to include personal stories and anecdotes. Share your favourite memories with the groom, and if you want, include the spouse as well. Look for stories that are humorous or sentimental, with a meaningful or funny ending. Avoid rambling or sharing inside jokes that will go over the guests' heads.

Talk About the Couple's Relationship

Share how the couple first met and how their relationship has grown. If you played a part in bringing them together, don't forget to mention that! This is a great way to give the guests insight into the newlyweds' love story and make them feel more connected to the couple.

Now that you have some ideas on how to start your best man speech, it's time to put pen to paper and begin writing! Remember to keep it light, positive, and sincere, and don't be afraid to show your enthusiasm for the couple. Good luck!

Best man speech examples

The best man's speech is one of the most eagerly awaited parts of a wedding. It usually comes last and is packed with jokes, embarrassing stories about the groom, and heartfelt words for the couple. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a memorable and engaging best man speech.

Structure and Content

Begin by introducing yourself and setting the tone with a "quick win" joke to get the audience laughing. Then, acknowledge the bride, the groom, and any special guests. Share stories about how you met the groom and include anecdotes that are humorous, interesting, or endearing. This is also a great opportunity to exaggerate and be creative.

After sharing stories, transition to a more sincere tone by talking about the groom's positive qualities and how he has changed for the better since meeting his partner. Mention how the bride has had a positive impact on the groom and wish them both well for their future together.

Delivery and Style

There are a few options for delivering your speech: reading from a script, using bullet points or cue cards, or memorizing your speech. Reading from a script is the safest option, especially if you're nervous, as it ensures you don't go off-script. Using bullet points or cue cards gives you the freedom to speak off-the-cuff but still provides a safety net. Memorizing your speech requires significant practice but allows for a more natural delivery.

Regardless of the delivery method you choose, it's essential to practice beforehand. Practice sight-reading if you plan to read from a script, and if you'll be using a microphone, practice holding it while speaking. During your speech, remember to smile, gesture, and make eye contact with the entire room, not just the groom or your friends.

Example Best Man Speeches

"Good evening, if you’re in this room and don’t know me by now, then you’re probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I’ve been best friends with [groom] for 25 years…"

"Hello and welcome to tonight’s reception. [name of groom], YOU truly are MY biggest fan. Wait, that didn’t come out right… As I was saying…"

"Hello, I’m the best man [your name]. This entire day has been beautiful so far. In fact, I’m getting emotional. The wedding cake has me in TIERS. (looking at a three-tiered cake)."

"Good evening, I am [your name], the best man and [relationship to groom] of [name of groom]. Tonight we’re in a room full of great men–doctors, lawyers, military veterans, and successful businesspeople–yet I am the 'best.' His words, not mine."

"As Abraham Lincoln once said, [say something outrageous Lincoln never actually said—an inspirational quote, movie line, or piece of advice…] … and that’s what brings us all together tonight to celebrate [couple's name]."

For the full speeches that these openings are taken from, as well as many more examples, see the sources.

Best man speech tips

Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is an honour that comes with great responsibility. One of your main tasks will be to deliver a memorable speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. Here are some tips to help you craft and deliver a standout best man speech.

Crafting Your Speech

• Get your ideas down on paper: Write down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. This will help you remember specific anecdotes and incidents.
• Use a template as a guide: Most people have never written a best man speech before, so it's normal to have no idea where to start. A template can give you an idea of what to include.
• Find a unique opening and closing: The opening and closing lines of your speech leave a lasting impression. Find a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and sets the tone, and end with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Adding Personal Touches

• Share stories about the groom: Share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that reveal who the groom is and your relationship with him.
• Talk about what the groom means to you: Express all the things you like about the groom and why you value your relationship with him.

Delivering Your Speech

• Practice as much as possible: Prepare your speech early on and practice it as much as possible. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to refine your delivery.
• Calm yourself before and during the speech: Take deep breaths and slow down. Visualise yourself as a great speaker. Having a drink or two may help, but be careful.
• Connect with the audience: Make eye contact, speak clearly, use hand gestures, and express your emotions genuinely.
• Keep it short: There isn't a set time limit, but shorter is usually better. Aim for around 4-7 minutes.
• Address the happy couple: Don't forget to talk directly to the couple and wish them a happy future.
• Make a toast: Ask everyone to lift their glasses and say "to the couple" or come up with something clever.

Remember, your best man speech is a chance to celebrate your friend's special day. Enjoy the process and have fun!

Best man speech length

The best man's speech is one of the most important parts of a wedding, but it can be a nerve-wracking experience for the person giving it. The speech should be lighthearted and quick, and it's important not to overthink it.

There is no definitive answer to how long a best man's speech should be, but most sources suggest keeping it short. A good rule of thumb is to aim for around 5 minutes, with 3 minutes being the minimum and 10 minutes being the absolute maximum.

If there are multiple speakers at the wedding, the length of the best man's speech may need to be adjusted. For example, if there are 4 speakers, the best man should aim for around 8 minutes, and if there are 5 speakers, 6 minutes. The more speakers there are, the shorter the best man's speech should be, as guests will only have a limited attention span for speeches.

It's also worth noting that the best man's speech is usually the last one, so the guests will already be at the limit of their concentration by the time it starts. Therefore, it's crucial to make it short and entertaining.

To give a successful best man's speech, it's essential to prepare and practise beforehand. This will help ensure that the speech flows smoothly and is well-received by the audience.

Best man speech delivery

The best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It's meant to be quick and lighthearted, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it. Here are some tips for delivering an engaging, witty, and well-received best man speech:

Preparation

Before you begin writing your speech, it's important to get your ideas on paper. Think about every story, anecdote, or event that involves the groom and jot them down, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous they may seem. This will help you identify a theme for your speech, which is a unifying idea that ties it all together. Once you have your theme and a list of stories, create a structure for your speech. A typical structure includes:

• Briefly introducing yourself and setting the tone with a joke.
• Acknowledging the bride, special guests, and the wedding party.
• Sharing how you met the groom and some stories or anecdotes from your time together.
• Including a creative element, such as a poem or a "top 5" countdown of hilarious moments.
• Transitioning to a more sincere tone and talking about the bride, their family, and their future together.
• Toasting the couple and wishing them well.

Delivery

When it comes to delivering your speech, there are a few options:

• Printing out your speech and reading from a script. This is the safest option, especially if you're nervous, as it ensures you don't go off-script.
• Using bullet points or cue cards. This gives you the freedom to speak off-the-cuff while still having some guidance.
• Memorising your speech. This requires a lot of practice and dedication, but it allows you to connect directly with the audience without notes.
• A bonus option is to memorise your opening and closing and have your script with you for the rest of the speech.

No matter which delivery option you choose, it's important to practice beforehand. Practise sight-reading if you're using a script, and if you're using notes, make sure to practise with the same notes you'll have on the day. Record yourself to get comfortable with your body language and eliminate nervous tics. Speak slowly and clearly, and don't be afraid to use hand gestures to emphasise your points.

Content

While the structure and delivery are important, the content of your speech is what will make it memorable. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Keep it concise. Aim for around 5 minutes, or 3-5 minutes if you're confident in your comedic or sentimental delivery.
• Balance humour with sincerity. Your job as the best man is to give everyone a good laugh at the groom's expense, but make sure it comes from a place of love for your best mate. Avoid making the groom the butt of every joke, and don't include any raunchy jokes or innuendos that might make the bride or older family members uncomfortable.
• Make it personal. Include inside jokes, memories, and genuine emotions about the groom and the couple. This will make your speech unique and engaging.
• Avoid mentioning ex-girlfriends, wild party stories, or anything else that might embarrass the groom or offend the bride and her family.
• Keep it appropriate. Refrain from including any adult humour or references to drugs, drinking, or gambling.
• Include a special shout-out to the bride. Even if you have a closer relationship with the groom, don't forget to welcome and include their new spouse. Talk about their positive influence on the groom and why you love them.
• Close with a heartfelt toast. Ask everyone to raise their glasses and provide well wishes for the newlyweds.

Frequently asked questions