Best Man Speech: To Wing It Or Not?

Being the best man at a wedding is an honour that comes with great responsibility. One of the main tasks is delivering a memorable speech that celebrates the groom, entertains the guests, and shows your support for the happy couple. While some people might be tempted to wing it, this is not recommended. Giving a best man's speech can be nerve-wracking, but with careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery, you can make it a standout moment. Start by writing down your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. Use a template as a guide and craft a speech with a unique opening and closing that leaves a lasting impression. Share stories and experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Practice your speech as much as possible and remember to connect with the audience through eye contact, clear speaking, and hand gestures. Keep your speech focused, positive, and lighthearted, and always avoid inappropriate topics and jokes. With the right preparation and delivery, your best man's speech will be something everyone remembers and cherishes.

Why you shouldn't wing it

Public speaking is hard for most people, and it's even more stressful when it's at a wedding. While it may be tempting to just "wing it" when it comes to your best man speech, there are several good reasons why you shouldn't.

First and foremost, a best man speech is an important part of the wedding reception. It's your chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. It's a privilege to be asked to be a best man, and winging it could come across as disrespectful or lazy.

Planning and practicing your speech will help ensure that you don't embarrass yourself or the groom. It's easy to stumble into common pitfalls when giving a best man speech, such as telling inappropriate stories or going on for too long. By taking the time to write and rehearse your speech, you can avoid these mistakes and deliver a speech that is both memorable and meaningful.

Another reason not to wing it is that you may forget what you wanted to say. Even if you're usually great at thinking on your feet, the pressure of the occasion could cause your mind to go blank. Writing your speech down and practicing it will help you feel more confident and ensure that you don't miss out on any important points.

Finally, winging your best man speech could result in a lack of structure. A good speech should have a clear beginning, middle, and end, with stories and anecdotes that are relevant and entertaining. Winging it may result in a rambling, incoherent speech that loses the attention of the audience.

In conclusion, while it may be tempting to wing your best man speech, it's important to remember that this is a special occasion that deserves your time and effort. By planning and practicing your speech, you can deliver a toast that is funny, heartfelt, and memorable for all the right reasons.

How to start writing your speech

While it may be tempting to "wing it", writing your best man speech in advance is crucial. You don't want to end up with a cringing audience or, worse, forget what you wanted to say. So, where do you start?

Brainstorm

Start by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, memories, and funny anecdotes about the groom. Write as much as you can, and don't worry about the quality at this stage. This process will help you gather your ideas and jog your memory.

Use a Template

Most best men have never given a wedding speech before, so it's normal to feel lost about where to begin. Using a template can be a helpful starting point to give you an idea of the structure and content of your speech. While you should inject your personality and experiences, a template will ensure you don't miss any key elements.

Opening and Closing Lines

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial, as they leave a lasting impression on your audience. Begin with a compelling opener that grabs their attention and sets the tone. End with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Share Stories

People love stories, so share funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing experiences that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Ask mutual friends if there are any stories you've forgotten—chances are, there are some great ones!

Express What the Groom Means to You

As the best man, you were chosen for a reason. Express what you like about the groom and what he means to you. Talk about how he's always had your back, gives great advice, or any other qualities that make him special to you.

Keep it Short and Sweet

A good best man speech should be concise. Aim for around 4-7 minutes, or if you're feeling brave, stick to the 3-minute mark. This length ensures you get your point across without losing your audience's attention.

The importance of a unique opening line

The opening line of your best man's speech is crucial as it sets the tone for the rest of your speech and can either grab your audience's attention or lose it. A good opening line should be unique, compelling, and tailored to the couple and the audience. It should also be an icebreaker that showcases your personality and relationship with the groom.

While it may be tempting to start with a joke, this is generally not recommended as it may fall flat and create an awkward atmosphere. Instead, introduce yourself, acknowledge the couple, and perhaps include a light-hearted comment or a quote to break the ice. This will help you establish a connection with the audience and create a positive impression.

• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm honoured to be standing here today as the best man. For those who don't know me, my name is [Your Name], and I've known the groom, [Groom's Name], for [number of years] years. Today, we celebrate the union of [Groom's Name] and [Bride's Name], and I wish them all the best for their future together."
• "It's a pleasure to be the best man at [Groom's Name] and [Bride's Name]'s wedding. [Groom's Name] and I go way back, and I can honestly say that he is one of the most loyal, caring, and sincere people I know. So, let's raise a toast to the happy couple!"
• "Today is a special day as we celebrate the marriage of [Groom's Name] and [Bride's Name]. I've known [Groom's Name] for many years, and I can attest to his good character and the positive impact [Bride's Name] has had on his life. Cheers to the happy couple!"

Remember, the key to a successful opening line is to be authentic, respectful, and engaging. Avoid cliches and overused jokes, and focus on creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere for the couple and the guests.

Additionally, it is essential to prepare and practice your speech beforehand. While it may be tempting to "wing it," taking the time to write and rehearse your speech will significantly enhance your delivery and ensure a more polished and confident performance.

Tips for delivering your speech

• Practice: Practicing your speech will help you feel more confident and comfortable when it comes to delivering it. Rehearse it multiple times, in front of a mirror, with a trusted friend, or even in the car on the way there.
• Keep it short: A good best man speech should be concise. Aim for around 4-7 minutes.
• Connect with the audience: Make eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures to engage the audience.
• Calm your nerves: It's normal to feel nervous before giving a speech. To help ease your nerves, take deep breaths, visualise yourself as a great speaker, or have a drink (but no more than two!).
• Follow a structure: Your speech should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with an introduction and a statement about the groom, tell some stories, and finish by revisiting your initial idea and explaining how it has changed.
• Avoid inappropriate topics: Steer clear of stories that might embarrass the groom or offend the guests. Stay away from topics such as exes, drugs, alcohol, or anything else that might be considered risqué.
• Make it about the couple: While it's natural to want to talk about yourself and your relationship with the groom, remember that the guests are there to celebrate the couple. Focus on the groom and his positive traits, and be sure to mention the bride as well.

What to avoid in your speech

What to Avoid in Your Best Man Speech

• Don't wing it: While it may be tempting to improvise, it's unlikely to go well. Even if you're a confident public speaker, the best man's speech is an important part of the wedding, and you don't want to risk offending the couple or their family members. Take the time to write your speech and practice beforehand.
• Avoid inappropriate jokes: Keep your speech family-friendly and avoid telling mean-spirited jokes at the groom's expense. Steer clear of making any jokes about the bride, bridesmaids, or family members.
• Don't make it about yourself: While it's fine to introduce yourself, the focus of your speech should be on the couple, particularly the groom. Avoid sharing stories that centre on your relationship with the groom or your own experiences.
• Don't talk about exes: This may seem obvious, but it's a common mistake. Avoid any mention of the groom's former relationships or ex-partners.
• Don't drink too much: Having a drink or two to calm your nerves is one thing, but don't overindulge before your speech. It's a surefire way to say or do something you'll regret.
• Avoid offensive language: Remember that weddings are family events, with guests ranging from grandparents to young children. Refrain from using profanity or telling off-colour jokes.
• Don't exclude anyone: Make sure your speech is inclusive and connects with the entire audience. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand.
• Don't rely on technology: Props, slides, and videos can detract from your speech and increase the chances of something going wrong. Stick to traditional note cards if you need a reminder of your key points.
• Don't make it too long: A best man's speech should typically be between 3 and 7 minutes long. Any longer, and you risk losing the attention of your audience.

Frequently asked questions