The Best Man: Should He Be Married?

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually his closest relative or friend, who can be married or unmarried. The role of the best man is to serve as the groom's confidant and assistant before, during, and after the wedding. The best man is typically in charge of planning and organizing the bachelor party, giving a speech, and serving as a point of contact for the groom's side. While there are no set rules on who can be the best man, this role is often given to the groom's brother, close relative, or best friend.

The best man's role in a military wedding

In a military wedding, the best man's role is largely similar to that of a traditional wedding. The best man is the groom's chief assistant and friend, offering support and comfort throughout the entire wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself.

However, in a military officer's wedding, the role of groomsmen is replaced by swordsmen of the sword honour guard. These swordsmen are usually close, personal friends of the groom who have served with him. They form the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.

The best man's duties in a military wedding may include:

• Helping to coordinate with vendors and select venues
• Planning the bachelor party
• Keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged during the ceremony
• Standing next to the groom during the ceremony
• Acting as a legal witness to the marriage and signing the marriage certificate
• Preparing and delivering a memorable speech during the reception
• Leading the dance floor and encouraging guests to participate
• Assisting with logistics, such as coordinating with vendors or guiding guests

The best man is also responsible for easing the groom's stress and ensuring that the wedding runs smoothly. This may include helping the groom get ready on the morning of the wedding, reminding him to breathe, and checking that everyone in the wedding party looks their best.

In summary, the best man in a military wedding has a crucial role that combines practical tasks, emotional support, and leadership within the groom's party.

The best man's attire

For a formal, polished look, a dark blue or charcoal grey suit is a good choice. Blue is a flattering colour for all body types and complexions, and it also conveys formality and elegance. If the wedding is more casual, a light or medium shade of grey or blue can be worn. It is important to note that black tuxedos, while formal, may not be appropriate for traditional weddings as they are the traditional colour for tailcoats.

The time of day and type of wedding also influence the best man's attire. Etiquette dictates that for weddings before 6 pm, a tuxedo or morning dress is appropriate, while weddings after 6 pm call for a tailcoat. For religious weddings, a formal, traditional, and polished look is required. On the other hand, civil weddings can vary in formality, so it is important to gauge the mood and choose an outfit accordingly.

The best man should also pay attention to the accessories. A white shirt is a must, and plain-coloured silk ties or bow ties are recommended. Comfortable shoes are essential, and matt black, calfskin laced shoes are a good choice. The best man can add a touch of originality with colourful socks, such as stripes, diamonds, or squares.

In some cultures, there are specific attire requirements for the best man. For example, in a military officer's wedding, the best man may be part of the sword honour guard and wear a uniform.

The best man's speech

Being the best man at a wedding is an honour and a responsibility. The best man is the chief assistant to the groom and is usually a close friend or relative. One of the key duties of the best man is to deliver a speech at the wedding reception. Here are some tips and ideas for crafting a memorable and impactful best man's speech.

Start with an Introduction

Kick things off with a strong opening line that will hook your audience. Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship with the groom. This is your chance to showcase your friendship and let your personality shine through. You can also mention how you feel about being chosen as the best man and thank the couple for including you in their special day.

Share Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Use Humour

Humour is an essential ingredient in a best man's speech. Sprinkle your speech with witty one-liners, good-natured jokes, and hilarious tales. However, be mindful of your audience and refrain from crude jokes that might offend or fall flat. Use humour to create a warm and joyful atmosphere, and don't forget to circle back with sentimental moments to balance out the humour.

Compliment the Couple

Take the time to compliment the couple and highlight their strengths. Talk about their journey together and how their love inspires you and others. You can also wish them luck, happiness, and a long-lasting marriage. This is your chance to express your support and celebrate their union.

Keep it Short and Sweet

While you may have countless stories to share, it's important to respect the time of the guests and keep your speech concise. Aim for a speech that's around five minutes long. Rehearse your speech, time it, and edit it down if necessary. A well-crafted and concise speech will have a greater impact and leave a lasting impression.

Acknowledge the Families and Friends

Use your moment in the spotlight to acknowledge and thank the families and friends who have joined the celebration. Thank the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and anyone who helped plan the wedding. This shows your appreciation and makes everyone feel included in the celebration.

Finish with a Toast

End your speech on a high note with a final joke or a heartfelt closing line. Raise your glass and invite everyone to join you in a toast to the bride and groom. This is your chance to wish them a happy, healthy, and loving future together.

The best man's duties at the reception

The best man has a long list of duties and responsibilities at the wedding reception, including:

Acting as the Host

The best man should act as an unofficial host at the reception, ensuring that the newlyweds and guests are having a good time. He should keep his eyes and ears open and make sure that the wedding party knows where they need to be and when. He should also be a beaming ball of joy and energy, getting out on the dance floor and keeping people's glasses full.

Giving a Speech

Perhaps the biggest responsibility of the best man is delivering a memorable and entertaining speech during the reception. The speech should offer sincere well-wishes to the newlyweds, along with lighthearted anecdotes about the groom. This is a moment that allows all the guests to experience the couple's beloved bond and share a few laughs.

Coordinating Activities

The best man may assist in cutting the cake, organizing games, or managing other forms of entertainment to ensure that everyone has a good time. He acts as a liaison between vendors, confirming that everyone respects the timeline and addressing any issues that may arise.

Decorating the Getaway Car

If the couple plans a noteworthy reception exit, the best man should help decorate the getaway vehicle. Of course, he must first obtain permission from the vehicle's owner.

Collecting Gifts

Even if there is a designated gift table, some wedding guests may still want to hand off their cards or presents to an actual person. The best man should ensure that these gifts end up in the right place, whether it's a card box, gift table, or locked room. He may also be asked to deposit checks in the couple's bank account or keep them safe until they return from their honeymoon.

Tying Up Loose Ends

The best man may be asked to help with various tasks at the end of the night and in the days following the wedding, including tipping and paying vendors, transporting gifts to the couple's home, and returning any rented attire.

The best man's post-wedding responsibilities

The best man's responsibilities continue even after the wedding ceremony. Here are some of the key post-wedding duties of the best man:

Assist with the send-off

The best man can help ensure the newlyweds' departure from the reception goes smoothly. This may involve coordinating car transportation and decorating the getaway car with the help of the wedding party.

Manage final logistics

The best man can assist with any last-minute tasks and ensure that rented attire is returned promptly, helping the couple start their honeymoon stress-free.

Check-in with vendors

Once the reception ends, the best man ensures that all wedding-related expenses are settled before the couple leaves. He confirms that all vendors have been paid in full and handles any outstanding payments.

Take care of the groom's clothing

The best man may be asked to take care of the groom's clothing after the wedding, including returning any rented items on time and in good condition.

Congratulate the newlyweds

After the honeymoon, the best man can check in with the couple, offering congratulations and thanks for including him in their special day.

Frequently asked questions