Groom's Confidant: Best Man's Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually his closest friend or relative. The role involves a variety of duties, from providing emotional support to the groom and helping with practical tasks such as choosing formal wear and planning the bachelor party. The best man is also expected to give a speech at the wedding reception and to act as a witness by signing the marriage license. Other responsibilities include looking after the wedding rings, greeting guests, and making sure the groom gets to the ceremony on time and is ready for the big day.

Planning the stag do

Start Planning Early

It's important to start planning the stag do early to ensure the availability of activities, hotels, and flights, especially if you're organising a trip abroad. Early planning also gives you more time to focus on the smaller details that will make the event memorable and reduce the stress of having the responsibility hanging over your head.

Consult the Groom

Before you begin planning, meet with the groom to understand his expectations. Ask him about his preferred guest list, budget, dates, activities, and any dos and don'ts. This will ensure that you plan a celebration that aligns with his interests and preferences.

Create a Planning Committee

Consider enlisting the help of one or two other groomsmen or ushers to share the planning responsibilities. This can make the process more manageable and allow you to utilise the strengths of others, such as someone who is good with numbers or logistics. However, be careful not to involve too many people to avoid confusion and conflicts.

Establish the Guest List

Work with the groom to create a definitive guest list. This will ensure that all the important people in the groom's life are included and that you have the necessary contact information for each attendee.

Determine the Budget and Duration

Discuss the budget and preferred duration of the stag do with the planning committee and guests. Be mindful of people's financial commitments and schedules when deciding on the budget and how long the celebration will last.

Choose a Theme or Main Activity

Select a theme or one or two main activities that will be the focal point of the stag do. This could be an adrenaline-pumping activity, a live event, or a bar crawl, depending on the groom's interests and the group's preferences.

Book Accommodation and Transport

If the stag do involves an overnight stay or travel, book accommodation and transport accordingly. For overseas travel, book flights at the same time as the accommodation to ensure availability and coordinate passport requirements. For local celebrations, consider carpooling or booking train or coach tickets in advance for group travel.

Plan a Detailed Itinerary

Create a detailed itinerary for the stag do, including arrival and check-in times, activity locations and durations, free time, and expected end time. If there are specific outfit requirements, such as fancy dress or particular dress codes, include those details as well.

Finalise Payments and Send Updates

Collect final payments from the guests and send out a final message with any updates or changes to the itinerary. This is also a great opportunity to build excitement and get everyone hyped for the celebration.

Enjoy the Celebration!

Remember to have fun and enjoy the stag do! Don't panic if things don't go exactly according to plan. Focus on making memories and creating a send-off for the groom that he and the guests will always remember.

Writing a speech

So, your friend has chosen you to be his best man. Congratulations! Now it's time to start preparing for your big moment: the best man's speech. Here are some tips to help you write and deliver a speech that will be memorable for all the right reasons.

Know Your Responsibilities

Before you begin writing your speech, it's important to understand the full scope of your responsibilities as the best man. While the specifics may vary depending on the couple's preferences, there are some traditional duties that are commonly associated with this role. These include planning the stag party or bachelor party, serving as the groom's emotional support, assisting with suit selections, and of course, delivering an amazing best man's speech. Understanding these responsibilities will help you frame your speech and highlight your role in the wedding.

Know Your Audience

When writing your speech, it's crucial to consider the audience you'll be addressing. The guests at a wedding can vary widely in terms of age, relationship to the couple, and familiarity with the wedding party. Keep in mind that your speech should be inclusive and engaging for everyone in attendance. Avoid inside jokes or stories that only a small portion of the audience will understand. While it's important to share anecdotes and personal experiences, make sure they are relevant and accessible to the entire crowd.

Strike the Right Tone

The tone of your speech is crucial. It should be a balance of heartfelt, humorous, and respectful. It's perfectly fine to include jokes and light-hearted moments, but be mindful of not embarrassing the couple or crossing any lines. Run your speech by a trusted friend or family member to get a second opinion on the tone and content. They can help identify any areas that might be considered offensive or inappropriate. Additionally, be mindful of the presence of older relatives and avoid sexual or excessively embarrassing stories.

Structure Your Speech

A well-structured speech will help you deliver your message effectively. Here's a basic outline you can follow:

• Introduction: Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship with the groom. This will help the audience understand your perspective and set the tone for the rest of your speech.
• Anecdotes: Share a few memorable stories or anecdotes about the groom. These can be funny, heartwarming, or a mix of both. Avoid anything that might be considered inappropriate or offensive.
• Compliments to the Couple: Take some time to compliment the couple and express your happiness for their union. Share a few kind words about the bride and wish them both a wonderful future together.
• Toast: Conclude your speech by proposing a toast to the newlyweds. This is your moment to cheer them on and wish them a lifetime of love and happiness.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Once you've written your speech, it's time to start practicing. Practice makes perfect, and the more you rehearse, the more comfortable and confident you'll feel on the big day. Practice in front of a mirror, time yourself to ensure your speech isn't too long, and make adjustments as needed. You can also practice in front of a small group of friends or family members to get their feedback and suggestions for improvement.

Enjoy the Moment

Finally, remember to relax and enjoy the moment. Being a best man is an honour, and your speech is just one part of the overall experience. Don't stress too much about perfection; focus on celebrating the couple and making lasting memories.

Helping choose suits

As the best man, one of your main duties will be to help the groom choose the wedding suits. You will need to assist the groom in rounding up the ushers and other important members of the wedding party to go and try on wedding suits. It's a good idea to discuss ideas with the couple about the style and also decide whether the groomswear is to be bought or hired. Traditionally, the couple pays for the wedding suits or hire of them, but if it's decided that financial contributions are required, make sure this is discussed openly and upfront. It's important that you and the couple communicate this with the ushers so that everyone is aware before trying anything on.

You will also need to gather everyone's measurements, give the group an order-by deadline, or place the actual order yourself. Talk to the groom about what he wants everyone to wear and whether everyone is expected to match or coordinate (the answer is likely yes). If so, look into ordering as a group to save a little money.

When choosing suits, it's important to keep in mind the theme of the wedding and the formality of the event. For example, if you're having a formal black-tie wedding, you'll want to choose more formal suits such as tuxedos. If your wedding is more casual, you can opt for less formal suits such as khakis. Choose a colour that coordinates with the overall colour scheme of your wedding. For instance, if your wedding colours are navy and silver, you could choose navy suits for your groomsmen. Consider the overall style of your wedding when choosing suits for your groomsmen. If you're having a rustic barn wedding, for instance, you might want to choose more casual suits.

It's also important to order the suits in advance to allow time for fittings, alterations, and any necessary exchanges or returns. It's recommended to order suits at least 4 to 6 months in advance to ensure that everyone looks their best on the wedding day.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

Before the Ceremony

Find a safe place for the rings. This could be the inner pocket of your jacket, but make sure to check that the pocket doesn't have any holes. If the ring bearer is carrying the rings down the aisle, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings to you for safekeeping until the officiant requests them for the exchange of vows.

During the Ceremony

If you are the ring bearer, ensure that you have the rings to hand and ready for when the couple comes to exchange them. If you are not the official ring bearer, make sure that the designated person has the rings before the ceremony begins.

After the Ceremony

Once the rings have been exchanged, be mindful of where you place them. It is a good idea to have a designated box or soft cloth pouch to store the rings, especially if you are celebrating with drinks and dancing. This will ensure that the rings are not misplaced or damaged during the festivities.

General Tips

• Be aware of the couple's preferences for handling the rings. For example, they may want you to pass the rings to a specific person after the ceremony or have a particular storage method in mind.
• Stay organised and keep track of the rings at all times. This will help to prevent any last-minute fumbling or panic.
• If the rings are valuable, consider insuring them in case of loss or damage.
• If the rings are made of precious metals or gemstones, be cautious about wearing them in water or during physical activities to avoid damage or loss.

Remember, as the best man, you play a crucial role in ensuring the wedding runs smoothly. Keeping the rings safe is a significant part of that responsibility, so stay vigilant and enjoy the honour of being the couple's trusted guardian of their wedding bands!

Organising transport

As the best man, you may be responsible for organising transport for the wedding party. This could include transport to and from the wedding venue, as well as transport to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport.

If you're organising transport, you'll need to decide whether to drive the couple yourself or to hire transportation services. If you plan to drive the couple yourself, you'll need to stay sober throughout the wedding reception. Hiring transportation will allow you to enjoy the open bar and pass the responsibility to a professional.

• Book transport in advance: Research and compare different transportation services to find the best option for the wedding party's needs. Book well in advance to ensure availability.
• Confirm the number of passengers: Know the number of people who will need transportation, including the couple, wedding party, and any family members or guests. This will help you choose an appropriate vehicle size.
• Provide clear instructions: Communicate the transportation plan to the wedding party and ensure everyone knows the pick-up and drop-off locations and times.
• Consider decorations: If the couple wants to decorate the getaway car, coordinate with the other groomsmen to ensure it is done tastefully and with the couple's permission.
• Keep an emergency kit: Prepare a kit with essential items such as water, snacks, a phone charger, and any other items that might be useful in case of unexpected delays or mishaps.
• Have a backup plan: In case of unforeseen circumstances, such as traffic delays or vehicle breakdowns, have a backup plan or alternative transportation options ready.
• Ensure a smooth departure: On the day of the wedding, ensure that the transport arrives on time and that the couple and wedding party are ready to depart as scheduled. Help the couple with any last-minute needs, such as gathering their belongings or providing refreshments.

Frequently asked questions